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I think my new friend with depression is trying to push me away, but I don't want to give up on them. How do I know if they are pushing me away and how can I help?

5 Answers
Last Updated: 11/10/2020 at 5:50pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Amelia Winsby, PsyD

Psychologist

I often work with clients who experience a wide range of emotions and difficulties. I am non-judgmental and enjoy working with individuals from all walks of life.

Top Rated Answers
herbology
December 6th, 2017 12:53am
It's really kind of you to want to help your friend. I know it can be hard to stay in touch with someone if you think they're pushing you away. People with depression often want to push people away, but staying in touch with good friends can absolutely help in the path of recovery. And that's where you come in! ;) I can't give advice, but you can help people with depression by keeping them in touch with the world. If someone is depressed, they might get swallowed up by all these feelings and lose perspective. To have someone who you can rely on and talk to if needed, is really helpful. You must also give them some space and not pressure them to talk. But let them know that you're there for them IF they want to talk or do something. Focus on the things that they used to like or enjoy. For instance, if they like football, keep them in the loop of the latest competitions and their favorite team. Long story short: let them know that you're they're for them, that they're not alone, and give them some space as well. I hope that helps!
Anonymous
June 4th, 2019 5:19pm
I am so sorry to hear that! However, it seems that you are a great friend who is willing to help! Please remember that people who suffer from depression usually avoid people, because they want to stay alone. They are afraid that they might hurt your feelings or even that you do not deserve a friend like them because they are worthless. Do not try to solve their problem, because it's really difficult only a professional can! You don't want to make stuff worse, right? However, you can show them that you are there for them and they can always talk to you. Do not pressure them, just show them that you are there by supporting them and asking them to hang out!
Anonymous
April 10th, 2018 12:32am
You can tell they are pushing you away if they are struggling a lot to where they don't want to seek help because they don't want to bug you, think you'll judge them or thinking your help won't be beneficial, you can help by watching if it gets worse to alert an adult to help chat with them or at times having them solve it on their own too.
Anonymous
July 15th, 2019 1:27pm
Sometimes people with depression does not want to be around people for a while. They have struggles with their own thoughts and feelings. They may push people away and we often pester them by trying to make them open up. This may have an opposite effect, instead of them feeling safe they may feel attacked. Sometimes it is better to leave them alone especially when they need it. We just have to be there for them when they need us, either if they want to open up or to simply reassure them that they are not alone in dealing with their problem.
Anonymous
November 10th, 2020 5:50pm
I think having an open and honest conversation always help. Sit down with them, ask them what is it that's bothering them. I guess, it will help you understand how you can help and allow them to feel a bit lighter as well as they share with you. But, give them space and time to answer. Just let them know that even if they take time to share or they do not share at all. You are with them, and the assurance of having someone who's got your back emotionally or physically is many a times helpful on its own.