Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

I want to feel better but why am i not able to?

18 Answers
Last Updated: 04/06/2021 at 4:47pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Maryna Svitasheva, PhD. RP

Licensed Professional Counselor

Psychotherapy I provide is based on a dialog and your active intention to look for a solution with the therapist's assistance

Top Rated Answers
March 15th, 2015 9:49pm
Part of what makes us feel things is a mixture of chemicals in our brains. People who suffer from depression or anxiety can sometimes not have enough of the chemicals that make us feel happy or relaxed. It can be a completely biological thing, just like diabetes or the flu. It's not your fault, and it's absolutely real. Therapy, CBT and medications can help you regain the chemical balance in your brain.
February 2nd, 2016 8:43pm
This is a common statement which I hear a lot, both as a little whisper in my own head and when I talk with members. When I hear this it reminds me of a visual metaphor: a tug of war with you in the middle. On one side there's the team pulling for "wanting to feel better", on the other is the "I'm not able to". The "you" in the middle that wants a result is being pulled left and right, and it's exhausting! One side wants a positive emotional outcome, the other is providing reasons not to reach that destination. Well, what can we do? Different people approach this in different ways, some more successful than others. These include going ahead with changes but then finding they don't last. Others don't get that far and find they've already told themselves there's no point trying, so they don't. Either way, both approaches result in the same inaction: the same inability to get what you want. So faced with that dilemma I try to think about the areas I haven't looked at for whatever reason. Normally, it's because those areas fit into the 'too hard' or 'too painful' category, so naturally I avoid it, and let it gather dust. But see I know, that letting it gather dust rather than helping it to disappear, actually makes it harder to find, dig out and replace it with something else. So I try, and not always successfully, to tell myself that if I'm not achieving what I want, it's a trigger to help me switch on the spotlight, be really honest with myself and go into the forgotten warehouse of my mind to find those uncomfortable or painful boxes containing the real reasons I'm not making progress. Then it's a case of flicking into deeply honest mode and activating my bravery booster! See, once I find those switches, or give myself permission to flick those switches, I find I'm able to open those boxes and one by one, work out, acknowledge and accept what each item is and how it's been stopping me from getting what I want. I can do this with myself (harder) or I can reach out to do this with someone I know can guide me in a way that empowers me, and reminds me that I call the shots, and I can move on when I'm ready: that I can feel better when I accept I am able to.
February 14th, 2017 8:00pm
Forgive. Forgive yourself, forgive your past, forgive whatever makes you mad. Start new, start fresh. Don't blame your self for things that have already happened. Only focus on the future and ways you can make it better. Do things you love , even if they may not be productive. Exercise, even if its a walk around the neighborhood. Get a notebook and write whenever you down, then crumble it or rip it up and throw it out.
February 13th, 2015 6:22pm
Because you hide it. I have been through the same experiences. You have to tell someone. I tried to hide it and it didn't turn out well. Little did I know that a talk with someone can change your life..
April 24th, 2015 1:50am
This happens to me a lot. The reason (for me at least, maybe you can relate), is because I simply don't allow myself to. I dig deep for reasons that explain "why I shouldn't be happy," when in fact, I'm just wasting the time of day thinking about those reasons. We find ourselves lost in our minds about why we can't smile, when in fact, you should just smile and see what happens. Let it all go :)
February 16th, 2015 5:47pm
You need to question why you're not feeling better first, are you still having problems or are you just not letting yourself. Do you have hobbies you enjoy that you can partake in to keep your mind off things?
April 25th, 2015 8:34pm
Sometimes there are things in are lives that drag us down. They stomp on are backs until we feel like there is no hope. Then they sit on us and wait until we can't do it anymore. That breaking point, that rock bottom point, is where you make or break it all. Sometimes we decide we have the energy to overcome what is holding us down, and sometimes that doesn't work. Sometimes it takes time, persistence, and effort to succeed. So the short answer is you haven't gotten there yet, but don't give up. One day you will kick the thing off your back, and stand proudly. I trust that.
June 29th, 2015 11:25pm
It's important to ensure that you're meeting your body's physical needs first and foremost. Consider these things: Are you getting enough sleep? Are you hydrated? Have you gotten adequate sunlight? Are you taking care of your hygiene? Have you eaten well? All of these things can affect your emotional wellbeing and over all comfort levels. Therapists and Psychiatrists can also be extremely beneficial in diagnosing and working through longterm depression.
January 8th, 2018 7:22am
Most likely because you are feeling symptoms of depression or anxiety. It is not your fault. These illnesses affect how the brain works and can trick you into thinking things.
March 12th, 2015 5:07am
You are able to. You just need to think positively all the time. Throw out the negative thoughts and remember that there is somebody always by your side.
April 1st, 2015 3:35pm
Sometimes we can't solve everything alone. It's a good thing to talk to family or friends about your feelings.
April 24th, 2015 7:41am
I have been here so many times. I thought too much about getting better. The desire to get better is good, and a crucial first step towards improvement. But it is of little worth if it is not followed by taking necessary steps. We need to take action, if we really need to see positive results. And that is tough. It is hard to get out of that inertia of sadness, hopelessness and laziness, and really do something about it. But as it goes - no pain, no gain. Support and motivation from others can be incredibly helpful in overcoming the inertia.
October 27th, 2015 10:16pm
This depends on your personal experiences and difficulties, but it could be for any number of reasons. (1) You may have some unresolved issues and need some help to get through them, from a professional mental health worker or perhaps simply from a kind, compassionate person. (2) You could have a physical problem (e.g. imbalance of neurotransmitters in the brain can cause problems such as anxiety, depression and psychosis to name a few) which needs help and treatment from a qualified doctor or psychiatrist, possibly with medication. (3) Your current life situation might be making you unhappy and not allowing you the space and support you need to help you get better. These are some of the most common reasons, but for you it might be something else entirely. If your problems are significantly affecting your life, it might help you to see a professional for expert in-person support. Whatever it is, it's not unfixable. There is always something that can be done to make things at least a little better. It may take you a while to find what you need, but please don't lose hope -- keep trying out the different options. It's hard work but it's more than worth it when something finally helps.
December 22nd, 2015 5:56am
I understand how you're feeling. You want to feel better, but there's something in the way. Maybe finding things that interest you, and investing time in those activities, hobbies and things can help!
April 19th, 2016 9:05pm
Well, that depends on what the problem is. Sometimes there are forces outside of our control and we can't do anything, but sometimes just doing something you love can make you happier.
January 18th, 2021 9:21pm
This must be a difficult time for you. It is not easy to want to make yourself feel better. It is important to take one day at a time. It is also important to realize that it is ok to not be ok. By putting this pressure on yourself I can imagine that it can be overwhelming. Starting your day off with a positive mindset can be beneficial to your mental health. Many factors play a part in how we feel and it can be hard to pin point what is affecting you the most. By thinking positive vibes it can improve your mindset on life.
February 23rd, 2021 9:51pm
It's time to get up and do something you normally wouldn't do. So if you're a stay at home and watch Netflix in bed type of person, you need to get up and start moving or vise versa. Switching up your routine is essential to your self-care and wellbeing. You may even find new ways of coping. Moreover, when you feel like you have tried everything you could and you are still experiencing long stints of not feeling well, practice forgiveness and be willing to dive deeper into your psyche to understand yourself better. You might have an underlying cause that is holding you back from better.
April 6th, 2021 4:47pm
If you feel like you are unable to feel better, perhaps you're looking at your situation from a perspective that is no longer benefiting you. Self-reflection is a very important form of perspective to better understand what it is that is making you feel down, and what it is you'd like to see that can make you feel better. Weigh out pros and cons of a situation and set yourself up for the highest path. For example: I don't feel good about my grades in school, I'm doing my best but nothing seems to make me feel better about it. I will write down a list of all of my study habits and techniques and explore other options that my peers utilize that have proved successful. This sense of organization will surely make me feel optimistic about a new route towards higher grades.