Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Is it normal to feel guilty about being depressed?

43 Answers
Last Updated: 06/09/2023 at 8:22pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Tracy-Kate Teleke, PsyD, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
Lexiluh
December 5th, 2015 8:05pm
Quite frequently people struggling with depression feel guilty for it, but it's important to know that it is NOT your fault! You cannot blame yourself, it is not something that you should feel ashamed or guilty for. Please do talk to me, or any other listener about how you're feeling! You are not to blame, many people feel this way but it is not right to feel guilty because you are the single most important person in this situation and getting you better, on the right track and in a more positive mental state is more important than anything else! :)
Zenforever2
April 7th, 2015 7:38pm
No, never! Being depressed is not of your control. Please, don't ever feel quilty, because it's not your fault. You are not trying to hurt anybody! Hope this helped
Oreo
July 20th, 2015 2:34pm
Once the sufferer sees the impact of their behavior on their loved ones, yes it can happen. It doesn't help that a lot of people who don't understand depression see it as a means of getting attention, even though depression is just as real as a broken arm, just not as visible. It will help to assure yourself that depression is not your fault nor is it your choice, and you are not alone in feeling depression.
NoImaginationY
November 11th, 2015 1:09pm
It's normal, as in many people tend to feel this way. One gets trapped into the idea of being at fault, which also happens to work pretty well for those who tend to "feed" their negativity. However, being depressed is out of your control, it's not something you do on purpose and you shouldn't be held accountable for actions that stem from it (whether it's by others or yourself). In a nutshell, it's not your fault.
helpfuldot
May 15th, 2015 12:13am
I think it's completely normal to feel guilty about being depressed. Many people who haven't been through depression may think you are lazy or too difficult to be around and that can easily make those with depression feel guilty.
Cornucopia
July 14th, 2015 2:36am
I would say it is. I felt guilty because I felt that people around me could feel my sadness, and I felt that I would affect them as well. I hated seeing them sad because I was sad, so I naturally drifted away.
AlexG6
October 24th, 2016 10:12pm
Yes, it is normal as you may feel that your feelings will effect others in a negative way. Also, you may feel that you are bringing others down and causing them hassle by being depressed.
ColdWinterLove
March 3rd, 2015 2:02pm
Its totally normal to feel that way, we all fell guilty because we cannot fight our demons off and the war keeps affecting our loved ones.
ZoeAlwaysSmile
May 14th, 2015 8:25pm
Yes, it's normal. But what is normal as well is to feel guilty about everything. That's one of the things depression make us feel. But we don't have to feel guilty about being or feeling depressed. It's not our fault, so we shouldn't feel guilty nor anything. If we have depression, it's not our fault
IntuitiveDrops
May 27th, 2015 12:58pm
It is normal, but that doesn´t mean you should. We are often shamed for not being "positive" or "productive". That´s how most cultures are, especially the Western one. In order to heal and accept yourself, you have to learn how to listen to yourself. Most often "shoulds/musts" cause us to feel guilty. Feeling guilty is a common symptom of depressions. So relax, it´s probably a part of your mental illness.
Eloquentgraffiti10
September 22nd, 2015 5:05pm
It is completely normal. Part of depression is feeling guilty. when you're depressed you feel like a burden. Feeling like a burden can make you feel guilty. but remember how important you are.
Gilbird
June 9th, 2023 8:22pm
It's completely normal to feel guilty about being depressed. Depression can cause you to neglect tasks considered to be the "bare minimum" (Ex. washing dishes, showering, laundry, talking to friends+family). It's easy to reflect on yourself and get absolutely fed up with the way you are carrying yourself. These feelings of guilt can be even more powerful if you're normally a high-functioning individual. This feedback loop of depression and guilt can exacerbate the severity of depression and wreck one's self-esteem and identity. However, it is important to understand that the effects of depression on you are just that. They are not your fault and do not define who you are as a person. Cut yourself some slack, if you can, and focus on recovering from depression and celebrating small victories. Step by step, it will get better and you can feel like yourself again. (:
Anonymous
December 4th, 2017 4:36am
It is normal in a way that many people experience this guilt when they are depressed but do you deserve it? nope. because when you are depressed the brain chemicals change, actually it is what causes depression most of the time. It is not that you are simply upset and making a big deal of it. That is a serious matter, in this sense, feeling guilty is irrelevant.
JayGrayson101
November 7th, 2017 8:43pm
Yes, but that doesn't mean it's okay.. being depressed isn't something that you should feel guilty about. If you are depressed you should get help and talk to someone like a professional therapist or something, or just talk to a close friend that you can actually trust. the important thing is that YOU MATTER
mightywindbag
January 4th, 2016 1:15pm
Yes, in my opinion it can be. It might be because you see your loved ones going to work or school and also caring for you at the same time which can make you feel guilty.
Maddiejb202
December 28th, 2015 11:28pm
It is normal. Going trough depression before, you realize you feel guilty that everyone around you feels bad for you and you think it is your own fault. So i would say, yes, that is normal. But you shouldn't feel guilty about something you can't control.
GingerCatGirl
October 27th, 2016 12:30am
Guilt is an emotion that a lot of depressed people experience. It's important to remember that depression is an illness and it's not your fault. Although feeling guilty is a common emotion that often runs alongside depression it's not something you've chosen.
Anonymous
April 10th, 2015 2:03pm
Yes, I think it is perfectly normal to feel guilty. I think a lot of people feel guilty about it. But I don't think you should feel guilty because it is mostly not your fault you are feeling depressed. I think even though it sometimes seems like the fact you are feeling down is your fault, you wouldn't be depressed if you had a choice i assume. So why would it be your fault?
wonderfulRainbow817
March 14th, 2022 5:53am
What you are experiencing is very real and normal. Sometimes when we get depressed we are in a state where we are actively aware how down we feel. When we are down sometimes the energy given off is felt by others around us and that's what makes us feel guilty. It's ok to be depressed as we all are at one point or another. If the depression is long term have you considered talking to a counselor about it? Sometimes there are medications that can be given or treatment plans can be set up. A counselor is able to help someone figure out why they feel depressed and how to cope with it so that the person can start feeling happy again.
Anonymous
April 19th, 2021 3:43pm
It is most defiantly normal and okay to feel guilty about a mental state like depression. They may feel bad for troubling everyone with their problems, causing a guilt to build up inside. But they should understand that it is okay not to be okay. Everyone has phases in their lives where they feel down. And it is okay to burden others with these concerns if, in the end, you are feeling better. You deserve to be loved and feel good, so you deserve to seek the guidance that you need. A lot of people don't understand this so they feel guilty when they don't need to.
Epikura
October 22nd, 2019 5:56pm
Many people who suffer from depression think that way. You’re not alone feeling like this. These thoughts might stem from stigma surround the illness and are then strengthened by the self doubt and overthinking that are typical symptoms of depression. It’s a vicious circle, feeling guilty about depression, because of your depression and that in turn might result in making you feel worse. Be kind to yourself, you’re neither the only one to experience this illness or these thoughts. A mental exercise to deal with feeling this guilt might be to consider how you would think of a friend that is suffering from depression and what you would tell them. I wish you all the best!
Anonymous
June 4th, 2019 5:33pm
Yes, it is! Unfortunately, feeling guilty is a symptom of depression. However, you do not have to feel guilty! It's not something bad and there is nothing to be ashamed of! I also know a bit about how that might feel because I too have been there. I struggled with that and I got through it. I know you will, too. There is hope. What usually helps you when you feel that way? Maybe distracting yourself might help. Watch a video, go for a walk or even talk to your friends or family members! I hope you will find a solution to your problem! Best of luck!
Anonymous
November 12th, 2018 8:11am
It is normal as depression weighs on us plus those around us (family and friends). It is also the responsibility of those people to understand that depression is not your fault and not easily fixed. I have felt depressed and guilty as I see how much it weighs on those around me when I don't want to hang out, don't talk to them for periods of time, sleep a lot, or basically lock myself away. Your allowed to feel guilty and maybe use that guilt to force yourself to hang out with others, to interact, and to live as other people need you too ❤
Crimsonpeak34
June 25th, 2018 3:35pm
When you are depressed your brain will think negative stuff mostly friend. But you don't have to feel guilty for having depression, depression is brain illness. You need to treat it before it gets worse. Thanks.
Anonymous
May 30th, 2015 4:28am
Definitely! This is especially if you often express these feelings to people you care about. You might be afraid you're hurting them too, but trust me, they care and are there to help you.
Anonymous
August 18th, 2015 2:54am
Everyone is different, but it's not uncommon. Try to remember that your depression is not your fault. If you wouldn't feel guilty for having diabetes, you shouldn't feel guilty for having depression. It's an illness that you didn't ask for and that's not your fault at all.
CyberGypsy
August 7th, 2017 5:18pm
It's normal, as in many people tend to feel this way. One gets trapped into the idea of being at fault, which also happens to work pretty well for those who tend to "feed" their negativity. However, being depressed is out of your control, it's not something you do on purpose and you shouldn't be held accountable for actions that stem from it (whether it's by others or yourself). In a nutshell, it's not your fault.
adnascent
March 20th, 2017 2:52am
It is totally normal, society has a strong tendency to promote that happier people are more successful and thus more ethically correct. This could not be further from the truth. Depression can come about by finding some piece of truth that can be hard to swallow thus meaning you should not feel guilty for finding some flaw. The big hurdle is to find those bigger truths that can pull you out. To find action to pull you out of the depression.
wonderfullDew20
November 8th, 2016 4:04pm
Absolutely, especially if you feel other people have more reason to feel depressed. But your problems no matter how big or small are just as valid as anyone else's. Guilt is a wasted emotion though. Always talk it out
Anonymous
November 1st, 2016 3:59pm
It is normal to feel guilty about it, because being depressed doesn't only affect you, it also affects those around you. Even though being depressed isn't something you should feel guilty about, it's almost inevitable if you care about those around you.