Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Is it normal to not want to get better?

321 Answers
Last Updated: 11/09/2021 at 4:18am
Is it normal to not want to get better?
1 Tip to Feel Better
India
Moderated by

Smita Joshi, BA Psychology / MA / Advanced EFT Practitioner

Counselor

I am empathetic with my Clients going through emotional overwhelm and passionate in helping them. I am supportive, openminded & interactive in helping my clients.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
March 22nd, 2020 6:58pm
A lot of people won’t ‘get better’. It is easier to get help and learn how to deal with the problems that you are dealing with than to put pressure on yourself to stop them! Keep working on figuring out what personally helps you to get through any problems that you are dealing with and if that stops working over time, just look for some new ones! everyone is able to be happy even if it means not being able to be fully recovered! You will get through this no matter what! I believe in you u til the end!
ashni687096
March 23rd, 2020 1:57am
It's definitely normal. Sometimes you get into a routine of your depression and it can be scary to try and escape that. Change is scary, and sometimes we perceive our fears as not wanting it to happen. It's not that you don't want to get better. You probably just do not know how to, which can be daunting. Also a big part of depression is just feeling numb. Feeling numb to everything and it makes you just not care. It truly sucks and it isn't easy either. It's hard to even attempt to get better, but it is definitely worth it :)
WeightlessAgain22
March 25th, 2020 2:28pm
We tend to feel comfortable as soon as we are in a certain position in life. When there is this thinking that what might happen after you "got better" you could be scared by it. You don't know what's to come and the way to get there will be hard, that's why we tend to accept our current situation without even questioning it. But let me tell you, that's not the way to go. What will come will be so much better than what you have now. Imagine waking up, feeling good and starting the day almost godlike just because you feel so good. Or just in general have your sh*t together and not get the feeling of messing up again. I hope you understand what I mean. The attention of a mental illness can be addictive but it isn't healthy in a long-term. Take care of yourself. You got this!
Parn442
March 25th, 2020 9:51pm
It is normal. But what your body does to you when you don't want to get better may not be so normal. It's natural that when you're in your shell, in the cocoon where you know that things are already quite messed up and that there's nothing worse that could happen, when you know that you have hit the rock bottom, it's just so much easier to stay in that state than trying to change things up because any change for the better requires huge amount of effort and will power. It's just not too comfortable for the mind to get out of the comfort zone and actually take that effort when all it wants to do is to wallow in it's misery and drown in it. But if you really want to get better, you can still do it by managing your time better. Just start by devoting some amount fo time towards the change in situation and then gradually keep increasing that time. And all of this doesn't mean that you would have to let go of all the things or habits you've formed during your time in the shell. If you really cherish your activities, you can still keep up with them while doing other things and that is where time management comes in. And this is the part requiring the effort and will. And we know you're strong enough. Just do it now. Start today. Right now.
CouncillorDavies1989
April 19th, 2020 7:03pm
I suppose getting better regards you as yourself. Its only you what's going to be able to do that! Think to yourself you can do this by moving on. Its difficult but its achievable people never know how lucky they are until that person helps. I'm almost sure if you reach out for help and ask for it, it may be a comfort. I understand how difficult it will be but its nice to have that bit of friendship and guidance. Maybe speak to family or if you don't have that a person you can trust and make it work for both of you.
Anonymous
April 24th, 2020 11:31pm
Depending on the situation or the problem that you are facing. Many times we feel like we have exhausted our resources and we already did everything we could, and we naturally feel the need to step back. We get tired, we get resentful, sometimes we feel that there is no point in trying, no hope that things will ever change. When this happens it is really important to acknowledge our emotions and give ourselves some space. Taking some time off, taking care of yourself and spending time with supportive people can be really beneficial. Being under pressure to get better or to change 24/7 is not going to help you, it's just going to stress you out even more.
Anonymous
April 26th, 2020 12:41pm
After you've been one way for so long, it is hard to imagine being any other way. Maybe even scary. I think to a certain extent, yes, we do have to accept that this is part of who we are, because it will always be there. We can get better in order to function and hold healthier relationships, and the hope is for these things to impact you less, but there is no way to cure mental illness. We can only treat it and work on it. This only happens if that is what you want. If you don't want to get any better, you don't have to, and no one can make you. And this is a feeling many people who have battled it, or have lived with it for their entire lives, feel. It is normal, but that doesn't necessarily mean it is good or healthy to avoid or refuse help for something that is impacting your quality of life or the lives of the people around you.
gentleJoy6659
May 2nd, 2020 12:51am
It is definitely normal because even when we know it's tough to deal with our problems, but they give us a sense of comfort. A lot of times, we want to stay with things that we are familiar with, and not getting better helps you stay in that comfortable area and sense of peace, even if it is hurting you in other ways. Your feelings are definitely valid; you are not alone in not wanting to get better. I have felt this way many many times, as well, dealing with multiple different mental health issues because I was used to feeling this way and felt okay with it and accepted it. In the end, getting help was really beneficial, but give yourself as much time as you need to make that decision. Do not worry. You will get through this.
friendinme13
May 6th, 2020 12:35pm
I think you can be at a place where it feels like it is unattainable or that the effort of getting better would be difficult, so I can understand how frustrating it would seem. But by coming on here, you are working to get better, and in my own life when I thought things could never improve, they did get better. So I think that the same is possible for you and you are already working towards that goal. But I can definitely understand that feeling and think that a lot of people have it especially when they are making progress.
littledipper77
May 7th, 2020 12:22pm
Yes, it's normal to not want to get better. Sometimes you feel down for so long that you fear that when you get better you won't know who you are anymore since it's been a part of you for all that time, or that you will always be waiting for the day that things get bad again. Personally whenever I experience good moods I spend the whole time feeling scared and anxious about when the next bad mood will hit me, which makes me not want to get better sometimes because it just means that I will crash again which hurts more than always living in the crash.
Morgantfaria
May 20th, 2020 2:05pm
Yes. If you are feeling depressed that could be a normal reaction. Sometimes we have bad days or bad weeks or even bad years and it's hard for us to get over all we are going through. If you find yourself feeling this way try to reach out and talk to someone. Whether that be a friend, coworker or family or doctor. Talking to someone will help you open up about how you feel and want to step in the right direction to get better. You may even need to be put on some antidepressants to help you feel better and that is ok too.
Anonymous
May 21st, 2020 4:17pm
It could happen . Some people seem to get more attention or leeway when they are in a low place. Some people don't know they can get better so they don't try. Some people want to get better without doing the work like they perceive others who are better. Some people want to have closeness in the form of a toxic dynamic because they dont know there is another way for them. Some people want others to fight for them to get better before they get better because getting better without someone who needs you and supports you is more difficult and seemingly pointless. Some people believe if they got better it would teach people around them that it is not a big deal to mistreat them. Some people believe if they got better they would be expected to do way too much work and have way to much responsibily for their situation even if they are better.
Anonymous
June 18th, 2020 3:03pm
Sometimes we get in a place where the "not well" feels safe and familiar, and thinking about change and work to "get better" feels scary and overwhelming. It's natural want to stay where you feel safe. The unknown and change can be very intimidating! Taking that first step to go down the "get better" path is one of the toughest you'll make, but as you take that first one, then the next, then the next, you'll find it gets easier. And you may still fall back into that place of familiarity, but it won't feel the same, and you'll want to take those forward steps again. And it gets easier as time goes by. Looking after you is so important - no one can do it for you.
Anonymous
June 20th, 2020 11:21am
It's very normal. Your pain is what your brain is used to; As the human brain can be naturally resilient to change, it's natural that it would resist recovery because recovery would be a big change in your life. Not wanting to get better is an unhealthy thought process, of course, but it is normal and it doesn't make you a bad person and it doesn't invalidate your experiences. When I was struggling with self harm, I found that I'd miss it whenever I wasn't doing it. When the wounds healed up I felt annoyed that my arms were clear. It's a very hard mentality to break, but anything is achievable if you put your mind to it.
fearofthelark
July 8th, 2020 3:27pm
I think when you're in that place for a long time, you start to get used to feeling that way. You might not know anymore how it feels like, when it's getting better. Maybe you're waiting for something like your deepest low to have a reason to either get better or be lost. I feel like I'm floating a lot of times. It's like I feel not good on a regular basis anymore, but I'm not feeling extremly depressed or something. It's a numbness that I sometimes can't shake off. And that numbness feels like not caring. I become detached from my own feelings, normalizing being numb, and that's not really okay, but it feels like it's not... THAT BAD. Also I think, not wanting to get better is a way of being afraid of change. Because happiness can feel like a fleeting thing sometimes and what if it wasn't worth being happy for some days and being miserable afterwards again?
brightbubbles88
July 8th, 2020 5:39pm
I feel like it is absolutely normal to not want to get better, especially when getting better is more unknown and uncertain than staying where you are. So getting better requires a conscious choice and conscious effort because it is in a way stepping outside of your comfort zone and exploring what is unfamiliar. It is not going to be easy but it will definitely be worth it and it can be helpful for when you are feeling discouraged and uncertain about getting better, to create a list of reasons why you want to get better, to remind you of them when it isn't as easy to remember them yourself.
Anonymous
July 18th, 2020 2:46am
It is completely normal to feel like you don’t want to get better. Often, negative and disordered mindsets, as toxic and destructive as they might be, provide a feeling of comfort and routine, while everything else seems uncertain and unknown. Some feel that getting rid of the bad mindsets will result in emptiness in their life, since they haven’t known anything else, they haven’t known life without a mental disorder for so long and can’t remember what it feels like or simply don’t know what to expect. It’s often difficult to believe that the disordered thoughts will be replaced by ‘normal’ thoughts, instead of simply being destroyed, leaving emptiness in one’s thoughts and life. If you feel that way, you’re definitely not the only one and it’s completely normal! Getting your thoughts under control definitely is a lot of work, but it is definitely worth it and there’s way more to life than your disorder(s). I hope this helped! :)
Anonymous
July 29th, 2020 8:50pm
This might seem like a frustrating place to be in, but it does make sense why someone would want to have this mindset. When we're in a good place or a bad place we adapt to the comfort level and it's not always easy to let go and change and see things become better. It's moving out of your comfort zone and change isn't easy. Putting in effort to want to get better can be uncomfortable and maybe painful. So it's understandable that someone might want to just keep to their current state and not want anything to be different, even if it might be better
safeshoulder2CryOn
August 2nd, 2020 2:40pm
resistance to healing is a normal reaction for those who had spent considerable time in dark places. Sometimes in life more often than we would like, we go through pain that we arent prepared for we dwell in these dark places far longer than intended. Ironically drawing comfort from familiarity with heartbreaks n sufferings within the darkness. Solitude can bring peace n relief from aggressive fights, and further pressures of life. Hence inertia to this state of being is normal. Many depressed people have grown accustomed to the feelings and seeming tranquilities of this hopeless state. This however is dangerous and we need to manifest greater control in every area of our lives.We need to put on new lenses and see our mental illnesses as life-changing turning points where we grow and metamorphosize into someone better, stronger n more resilient.
eggdropsoupsupport
August 6th, 2020 6:35pm
There are many people who do not think about getting better and are content where they are. They are inert in their life because it is easy. While it is normal to stay the same, it may not be the best for you and your loved ones. One thing that drives people greatly is the desire for connection. Often finding a connection and maintaining it requires improvement, so in order to keep that fulfillment, change and growth should be celebrated and normalized. Improvement should be normalized because no one is perfect and even if you are the systems and society still is not and would benefit from learning and improving.
Anonymous
August 22nd, 2020 2:35pm
Yes. We all know, logically, that working on getting better, is actually better. My therapist said that it's completely normal to not want to get better because it's easier (and in a way, more comfortable) to just stay the same. Change (therapy, lifestyle change, diet, exercise, medication, etc) can be hard, overwhelming, and scary. It's okay to feel like you don't want to get better, but you know that getting better is better for you. It's okay to be nervous about change. It's okay to dislike the process. It's going to be hard at times, but it's going to be okay, and you're going to grow in the process. It's okay to have setbacks on your journey to getting better. If you are still unsure about wanting to change, make a list of pros and cons of getting better, talk to people you are close with, meditate. Ultimately, you are the only one who can choose if you want to get better or not.
TiresomeCarnap
September 16th, 2020 2:01pm
Yes, especially if you are depressed. Your sense of self worth may be particularly low and you might even question if pushing to get better will amount to anything worthwhile. Because why should I, as a person without worth, be better? Why does it even matter? And is it worth all the pain of trying to better myself? It is totally normal to ask yourself these questions, but it is very important to not be convinced by your depressive thoughts. To see yourself as a person that CAN and SHOULD try to get better, in order to get as much as you can out of this very short time we have in the world. Trying to get better is always worth it!
DarkPiT23
October 17th, 2020 8:35pm
Yes. People focus to not change themselves of not wanting to get better, with the fact that they feel they will transform worse. People focus more on the consequences than the actual positive outcome. To be honest, it's human nature that makes it feel not to change themselves. They have the fear of people not wanting them because of the change they inhabit and the fear of people leaving and loneliness grasping them. Especially in those people who have already suffered to feel of isolation and loneliness have a far of changing themselves, because they think its their better version of themselves already. So I think it's normal not wanting to get better, but we shouldn't stop trying too!
Anonymous
October 21st, 2020 5:07am
This is a completely normal feeling to have. Getting better means taking proactive actions and getting out of your comfort zone. And it is always challenging to force yourself out of a comfort zone, even if your comfort zone does not feel so "comfortable" after all. Getting better takes a lot of energy, and willpower. It is easier to do nothing and stay where you are. It is easier not taking steps towards getting better, being afraid and anxious that whatever you do may not work. Therefore, sometimes do not want to get better. Or, to be precise, we want to feel better, we just find it difficult to take any steps towards feeling better. But the first step is always the hardest one. And the most important one.
Anonymous
November 11th, 2020 10:37pm
This is an interesting question and I can understand why you might feel that way. I had a friend who struggled mentally and felt low everyday. He would feel as though it was easier to not get better. But thats because it can be a lot of work to get through something. It can seem impossible at times to think things can get better, especially if you go through tough situations and have had bad experiences over and over. I do believe deep down, our mind and heart wants to get better, but its believing we can and having positive people around us for support.
rayofsunshine888
November 20th, 2020 8:29am
It's completely normal to feel like you don't want to change the situation you're in, even if it's not a great one. It has happened to me before to feel emotionally attached to the sadness i feel, and i didn't know why.. but now looking at it, a person in a low time may wanna stick to the low because it's safe place as they may conceive happiness as temporary. but we should always remember that happiness, sadness, and all the feelings in the world are temporarily and won't last forever. So embrace what you're feeling whether it's good or bad because it will change one day and you'll move on.
Anonymous
November 26th, 2020 9:05pm
Yes I think that at some point you get tired of trying and not seeing improvement and just seeing things get worse and at some point, you put your all into getting better and it doesn't go anywhere but I think you just have to remember that there are stages to everything that you don't have to put every dime you have into getting better you can focus on yourself and others but knowing that getting better takes time and maybe you don't see change but it's happening little by little and if you of even that 5% of the effort you could loose more than just yourselfé.
YourNeighbourhoodsuperhero
December 10th, 2020 10:49am
Yes, it can be normal to resist growth and change. It might mean you are not ready for accepting the change to be taken on board just yet. Situation Dependent, depends for how long, and on what topic and why. Etc. Use discretion.
Anonymous
December 26th, 2020 2:49pm
Yes, we do feel like that. We feel safe in whatever situation we are in and sometimes too afraid to try out something. We fear that what if instead of being a better version we end up worse. This fear is something which stops us from wanting to be better. Sometimes we will be too tired because of the effort we took so far. In such situations what I really would like to do is to reflect back. There will be atleast a small change (sometimes in the life of others) that happened because of our attempt to be a better person. There is never a pressure to be better. Being better is not to be considered as a competition item or something which we have to attain by a certain limit. It includes small day-to-day action which makes a small change. And we should take a break if we feel so overwhelmed. It's okay to stop trying sometimes taking a break doing what our heart tells us
SnailPurple
January 10th, 2021 8:30pm
Often, we get so used to our current mental state that the thought of healing scares us. We forget what it is like to be happy or healed, so becoming that is scary. That being said, it is normal to not want to get better. I used to be the same way. I was so used to being depressed and dependant on self-harm that healing scared me. People who are depressed also tend to think they do not deserve to get better. While it is normal to feel this way, I encourage you to seek help anyway. I promise the path to healing is worth it