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Is it normal to not want to get better?

296 Answers
Last Updated: 11/26/2020 at 9:05pm
Is it normal to not want to get better?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jennifer Fritz, LMSW, PhD

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

Day to day life can be stressful and overwhelming and my strength is assisting my clients in a supportive, empowering and practical manner.

Top Rated Answers
AngelFace97
August 11th, 2016 8:47pm
Although it is sad, I do believe that it is normal, in some ways, not to want to get better. The main reason for this is when things have been so bad/negative for so long, we feel that it is a normal part of life and have grown accustomed to it. We forget that things may change for the better one day and don't realise this ourselves.
loveistheanswer11
August 12th, 2016 5:08am
The idea of change often feels frightening, especially when change will require work that feels invasive and requires new habits, vulnerability and discipline. "Getting better" requires looking deeply at what is working and what is not for us. It's definately normal to experience the desire to avoid the process of transformation. It's unknown but when someone chooses the path of progress and the momentum and changes start to take form it becomes exciting and empowering.
Anonymous
August 13th, 2016 10:20am
Yes, it's a pattern in life. You want to get better , because you can. it is very normal we all do it.
Anonymous
August 14th, 2016 8:31pm
At some point it is, and iI think it's because you think you deserve it. You want to feel like very badly about yourself, and maybe you just need someone to help you throughout the way. You feel like you WON'T get better. At some point you want others to feel bad for you, because no one has ever been sympathetic with you and maybe others have told you to "just get over it." And that's only human to want others to understand you. Although they don't understand that you can't just get over it. But I also think, that you will reach the point where you're tired of not getting better.
ListeningBunny22
August 18th, 2016 3:26pm
It depends on what circumstance though. So which is yours? Try opening up and see what helps. Always happy to help.
Atlantismaybe
August 18th, 2016 3:54pm
Yes. Sometimes when we get so used in sleeping through chaos, we end up sleeping with it, underneath its arms because even it hurts, it's better than nothing.
angelicaxx
August 18th, 2016 4:44pm
Some people feel that and I did too. I don't know why but I did. But when you do get better, it's so much.... better! I promise you, you'll be glad you did :)
gentlefriend
August 20th, 2016 1:33pm
As we are humans, we sometimes don't want to get better. This however is a concern as it points to the symptoms of depression. It can help to make that initial leap into counselling to get support for this issue.
FizzyLemonade
August 21st, 2016 8:25pm
It's normal that you may feel dependant on you condition, as you might not remember what it feels like without it. It's normal to be scared of what life will be like when you're better, but it's important to remember that you won't have to feel so bad any more
RainbowTrie
August 25th, 2016 1:16pm
It is normal to resist any change in Status Quo because change is often scary and brings with it a lot of unknowns. If you know that getting better will require or cause big changes in your lifestyle, relationships, and live in general, then it makes sense that you might not want to get better. In the end, it is up to to to weigh the pros and cons of your situation. Just remember that treatment is available to you if and when you decide you're ready.
JadeLC
August 26th, 2016 4:37am
Honestly, yes! I think that sometimes we find comfort in truly feeling out our negative emotions. There's a reason why a good cry after a trying time really helps to alleviate the negative aspects we may endure. There are times when I wallow in my sadness or even at times, my depression. In those states, I sometimes purposefully reject help or support from friends or family because I'm simply not ready. It takes time to mentally and even physically endure, process and reflect on a heavy emotional experience. So don't feel bad or "abnormal" - feel out your sadness, loneliness, etc...! But just know that there will come a time when you'll need to really push yourself to seek help. I think from time to time it's okay to be in darkness, so long as you don't settle within it.
exquisiteLion14
August 27th, 2016 6:16am
Please elaborate. As in physically better from an illness, or trying not to be a better person each day?
Anonymous
August 31st, 2016 12:08am
I believe at certain times you get emotionally drained or exhausted where trying seems pointless. This is very normal but try to keep in mind that you aren't alone and the fight is well worth it.
WarriorDreams
September 1st, 2016 12:34am
I am no one that has the power to make the decision of what ultimately is normal or is not normal. Have I heard of someone saying they don't want to get better? Personally, I have not.
anonymous9irl
September 1st, 2016 2:58pm
Strangely yes it can be quite common. It can be seen as a sign of self sabotage for a few reasons. However some people are unsure if they want to get better because they've spent so long with their illness of some kind that they don't feel like they know who they are without it, and that can be a scary thought. It can be easy to make your illness define your sense of self, and the thought of not having that plays on some people's minds to the point where they doubt if they even want to get better
LittleLemon96
September 3rd, 2016 9:27am
We can't say that it is normal, but there is a type of people called masochist, they feel that there is something beautiful or plesering about being hurt, sometimes it makes you feel less pain if you are one of them but sometimes it makes you stick to the pain which is not a good thing..
Anonymous
September 4th, 2016 6:19am
Sometimes it may feel like its better not to want to be better because you are afraid of change. if you can conquer that youll be fine.
LeonMcLion
September 4th, 2016 9:11am
Not wanting to get better is just another stage of having depression. It is pretty normal to go through this but it may affect you in your daily life.
Anonymous
September 10th, 2016 8:22am
Yes, it's completely normal. When we have been depressed for a long time, we become tired and hopeless. Depression is what we know, a place that's there for us. If we gave up on it, we would have to become totally different people. Feeling down can function as an emotional security blanket. Not feeling depressed means that you will have to feel something different. It is normal to fear the unknown. All people do. It's our nature.
Anonymous
September 11th, 2016 12:04am
Yes and no. it depends on how you see yourself. if you see you are too good to be better or you feel no one is better than you, it is called egotism. And if you feel depressed and tried everything then gave up on trying to be better, then like most people, yes, it is a phase of depression.
Immortalwolfieslyrics
September 11th, 2016 10:21pm
Yes. In my past experiences I have had the fear that if I get better then I will have nothing to do and I was scared to get better because if I did, everything I knew would be gone and I didn't know how to react or cope with that. But then I thought to myself, what if....
deYoung
September 19th, 2016 3:57pm
Maybe. Not everyone feels a constant drive to improve, but having at least some kind of motivation every now and then is healthy. After all, life in which one would never become better at anything and not take up anything new would be quite the boring life to lead, wouldn't it be?
sophj19
September 22nd, 2016 9:52pm
Sometimes the thought of 'getting better' can be scary.. Plus everyone is different. You decide what normal is.
2cupsofteaa
September 24th, 2016 3:45am
I think normal because when you don't get better, you obtain care and concern most times and so it makes you feel loved. However, it wouldn't be normal if you go to the extreme sense to not get better.
Love2Help07
September 24th, 2016 4:23pm
yes only if you yourself is satisfied with the place and situation you are surrounded with. its fine than.
Godlovesus
September 24th, 2016 5:45pm
May be u have achieved everything u want or u have no reason or motivation to get better. .....................
Dracocat
September 29th, 2016 4:42pm
I think this is more common than people realise. Sometimes there is a fear of change. If someone has been feeling a certain way for a long period of time then it might be hard to know what it might feel like to be better. That can be a scary proposition. In some ways it is 'easier' not to get better, because at least you know what that is about. Sometimes getting better means stepping into the unknown.
goforit01
September 30th, 2016 7:13am
No it is not normal. It means "something" or "someone" or "some changes in your life" is bothering you....
Anonymous
October 2nd, 2016 11:35am
Yes, it is, some people just aren't prepared to make a change and just want to stay the way they are.
ThePosea
October 6th, 2016 1:46am
I guess it's normal to want to stay in a given state of mind, i think we as human beings try to avoid change if possible, especially if it's a big change like therapy, meds, the whole process. But i'm sure that if you really gave it a try you won't regret it afterwards.