Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Is it normal to not want to get better?

321 Answers
Last Updated: 11/09/2021 at 4:18am
Is it normal to not want to get better?
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Jennifer Patterson, LMFT, ATR-BC

Art Therapist

Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.

Top Rated Answers
July 24th, 2016 3:50pm
I wouldn't say it's normal to not want to get better, but I would definitely say that it's normal to not want to ask for help to get better. Of course, it depends on what you are struggling with. If, for example, you struggle with Anorexia, then I can see why you wouldn't want to get better because that would involve gaining weight to become healthy. But, say, if you had depression, it would be strange if you didn't want to get better and be happy again. Like I said, it depends on your condition.
July 27th, 2016 1:00am
If you have mental health problems, yes. In my personal experience it's a terrible nightmare where you're miserable but don't want to improve because you're used to and romanticize the bad feelings.
July 28th, 2016 10:18pm
For someone who has been unwell for a long period of time, it can be scary to think about getting better. I suppose there is no such thing as normal, maybe you should try and talk this over with a listener and explore the reasons why you don't want to get better :)
July 28th, 2016 10:22pm
Well it doesn't seem normal to me but you should get help because who wouldn't want to get better.i hope things go great
July 29th, 2016 7:30pm
Yeah, sometimes we see ourselves defined by depression, ocd, anxiety, etc.. We then start thinking "if I'm not depressed, what am I?". Other times self-pity (in some cases not all) can also be indulgent.
July 30th, 2016 6:29am
it is normal not to want to get better. for what is "better"? "better" is a subjective observation. what you see as better is not necessarily what the suffering person see as better. we must assume we do not know all the pertinent information concerning one person. for a person is a world in itself. sometimes a person developed a complicated ,self restricting strategies ,that integrate the suffering into his life, in a never ending cycle. that is his way of coping.(in his eye-mind) . after all,sometimes, a person is his self worst enemy. if that person has strong self will, he is sure he knows what he is doing - then what? - the willing to get better must come from within that person. if that person did it for too long, until suffering/ faulty thinking become an integrated part of himself. that is the only way he knows. then what? a person is a world in itself. let him be.
July 30th, 2016 12:23pm
You could be depressed, depressed makes us down and to lazy to be bothering with improving ourselves.
July 30th, 2016 4:27pm
There are many people out there who doesnt want to get better, because seeking help seems impossible because they are scared, ashamed etc.
August 3rd, 2016 10:14am
this is common. I understand but I personally recommend seeking professional help. you might not want to but once you've done it you will feel relived
August 4th, 2016 7:17am
Maybe it's about your situation.If you get more attention now,you won't want to turn back.I understand this.
August 4th, 2016 2:21pm
It is totally normal not to want to get better. Personally, I didnt want to get better, because i was so scared of putting effort into something, and having the outcome backfire at me. With lots of help, I was able to push through this, and although it was a really rough journey of ups and downs, I got better, and I am so thankful for everyone who helped. Its worth it.
August 6th, 2016 7:32pm
Yes, yes it is normal. It's a part of yourself procrastinating on the future, liking or rather being comfortable with where things are in the present and fearing what may come if too much changes in the future. You've become adjusted to who you are as a person right now, you know how to face your current problems and getting better means these problems will be replaced by new ones you know nothing about. Because of course, there will always be some problem. You're also happy with the empathy you can feel right now, when you aren't better and you're afraid of who you might become if you did get better. It's like the fear of failing, just rather the fear of success. You're afraid that if you wish to get better then it might never even happen. So no expectations means no disappointment. You're happy with having an excuse to be cared and comforted for. For not doing your best at work because you aren't at your best. So yes, not wanting to get better can sometimes also be half the reason why aren't getting better
August 10th, 2016 8:50pm
Yes, it's very common. If you've been living a certain way for a significant amount of time it's easy to get comfortable living that way, no matter whether it is good or bad for you. Alot of behaviours are maladaptive so become difficult to change, we get used to certain things and getting better can seem scary or not worth it because our way of thinking has, in a sense, adapted to the unhealthy ways we've been living.
August 11th, 2016 5:48am
It is very normal. Sometimes it seems not getting better is easier, or that you've been sad (or any other emotion) for too long. I've personally felt this way too. Talking to people who've felt the same way can help you realize you are not alone.
August 11th, 2016 8:47pm
Although it is sad, I do believe that it is normal, in some ways, not to want to get better. The main reason for this is when things have been so bad/negative for so long, we feel that it is a normal part of life and have grown accustomed to it. We forget that things may change for the better one day and don't realise this ourselves.
August 12th, 2016 5:08am
The idea of change often feels frightening, especially when change will require work that feels invasive and requires new habits, vulnerability and discipline. "Getting better" requires looking deeply at what is working and what is not for us. It's definately normal to experience the desire to avoid the process of transformation. It's unknown but when someone chooses the path of progress and the momentum and changes start to take form it becomes exciting and empowering.
August 13th, 2016 10:20am
Yes, it's a pattern in life. You want to get better , because you can. it is very normal we all do it.
August 14th, 2016 8:31pm
At some point it is, and iI think it's because you think you deserve it. You want to feel like very badly about yourself, and maybe you just need someone to help you throughout the way. You feel like you WON'T get better. At some point you want others to feel bad for you, because no one has ever been sympathetic with you and maybe others have told you to "just get over it." And that's only human to want others to understand you. Although they don't understand that you can't just get over it. But I also think, that you will reach the point where you're tired of not getting better.
August 18th, 2016 3:26pm
It depends on what circumstance though. So which is yours? Try opening up and see what helps. Always happy to help.
August 18th, 2016 3:54pm
Yes. Sometimes when we get so used in sleeping through chaos, we end up sleeping with it, underneath its arms because even it hurts, it's better than nothing.
August 21st, 2016 8:25pm
It's normal that you may feel dependant on you condition, as you might not remember what it feels like without it. It's normal to be scared of what life will be like when you're better, but it's important to remember that you won't have to feel so bad any more
August 25th, 2016 1:16pm
It is normal to resist any change in Status Quo because change is often scary and brings with it a lot of unknowns. If you know that getting better will require or cause big changes in your lifestyle, relationships, and live in general, then it makes sense that you might not want to get better. In the end, it is up to to to weigh the pros and cons of your situation. Just remember that treatment is available to you if and when you decide you're ready.
August 26th, 2016 4:37am
Honestly, yes! I think that sometimes we find comfort in truly feeling out our negative emotions. There's a reason why a good cry after a trying time really helps to alleviate the negative aspects we may endure. There are times when I wallow in my sadness or even at times, my depression. In those states, I sometimes purposefully reject help or support from friends or family because I'm simply not ready. It takes time to mentally and even physically endure, process and reflect on a heavy emotional experience. So don't feel bad or "abnormal" - feel out your sadness, loneliness, etc...! But just know that there will come a time when you'll need to really push yourself to seek help. I think from time to time it's okay to be in darkness, so long as you don't settle within it.
August 27th, 2016 6:16am
Please elaborate. As in physically better from an illness, or trying not to be a better person each day?
August 31st, 2016 12:08am
I believe at certain times you get emotionally drained or exhausted where trying seems pointless. This is very normal but try to keep in mind that you aren't alone and the fight is well worth it.
September 1st, 2016 12:34am
I am no one that has the power to make the decision of what ultimately is normal or is not normal. Have I heard of someone saying they don't want to get better? Personally, I have not.
September 1st, 2016 2:58pm
Strangely yes it can be quite common. It can be seen as a sign of self sabotage for a few reasons. However some people are unsure if they want to get better because they've spent so long with their illness of some kind that they don't feel like they know who they are without it, and that can be a scary thought. It can be easy to make your illness define your sense of self, and the thought of not having that plays on some people's minds to the point where they doubt if they even want to get better
September 3rd, 2016 9:27am
We can't say that it is normal, but there is a type of people called masochist, they feel that there is something beautiful or plesering about being hurt, sometimes it makes you feel less pain if you are one of them but sometimes it makes you stick to the pain which is not a good thing..
September 4th, 2016 6:19am
Sometimes it may feel like its better not to want to be better because you are afraid of change. if you can conquer that youll be fine.
September 4th, 2016 9:11am
Not wanting to get better is just another stage of having depression. It is pretty normal to go through this but it may affect you in your daily life.