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Is it normal to not want to get better?

321 Answers
Last Updated: 11/09/2021 at 4:18am
Is it normal to not want to get better?
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Jennifer Patterson, LMFT, ATR-BC

Art Therapist

Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.

Top Rated Answers
December 9th, 2016 1:53am
I think sometimes there can be guilt associated with getting better. Mental illnesses often (wrongly) convince us that we are lying about our struggles for attention, or that we simply needed to exert more effort and we could have gotten better more quickly. Not wanting to get better can sometimes be a coping strategy for avoiding that guilt. It can be helpful to remind ourselves that our illnesses are not our fault, that we are doing what we can, and that we deserve better health when it comes. We also deserve to congratulate ourselves for fighting, especially in times when we don't want to.
December 10th, 2016 2:06am
Yes. Because it's easier to stay the same and not have to work towards improving. On top of this, the idea of change, or coming out the other side an all-together different person is very daunting to a lot of people. But don't be afraid. To get better means to be better and you can only benefit from things being better than they are now.
December 11th, 2016 3:31am
It is for some people, including myself. It can happen with a variety of illnesses. For me I'm almost afraid to not be depressed because I know how to live with it. Its something I know, its something familiar. Change is scary, even when that change is for the better. Also, depression can feel like it is apart of your identity. It may be hard to let go or want to get better because you don't know who you are when you aren't depressed. It can be hard and add a lot of stress, but its nothing to be ashamed over. Move into the unknown when you're ready, not when other people push you into it.
December 21st, 2016 4:27pm
Sometimes you might feel helpless and feel like giving up on everything. Everyone feels that way in some point of their life. But then it may start affecting you adversely. So even if things might seem hard hang on and don't give up and do work to make things better. When they do get better you will feel the change.
December 29th, 2016 7:12pm
I think that it's normal. Like, there's always a stage of denial where we're either afraid of the outcome or we don't think it's possible that we can get better. Of course, rationally you know you can ( or maybe you really don't ) but there's always that doubt and it's like "Wow this is pointless."
January 1st, 2017 10:23pm
It actually is, I found that with my eating disorder, I didn't want to get better, in fact I would have argued that I didn't even have an eating disorder but I did. It is however, only when you want to get better that treatment is it's most effective. Don't worry about not wanting to get better. You can do it.
February 17th, 2017 6:50am
It is okay to not want to get better, because your still in the process of learning. But you won't always want to be stuck forever. Somewhere along the line you will get tired of feeling down and want to get better and be happy again.
February 22nd, 2017 11:23pm
When you've lived a certain way for so long,you may feel resistant to any change with your daily routines or emotional outlook.It's natural to feel like recovery is difficult and will bring about new challenges.As well as this,sometimes our health problems become part of our personalities and we feel like getting better is loosing a part of ourselves. In reality,you are NOT a crazy ego maniac who loves the attention of being ill ; you are just frightened of the changes that will happen as your life moves forward.In both mental health and physical health it IS completely normal to resist getting better because of the anxiety that comes with new steps forward and life changes.
February 23rd, 2017 5:07am
My answer is a resounding yes. Whatever struggles we face are there for a reason. They become a part of our very nature and character. They fill a need in our lives. They also really negatively impact our lives. But as we decide to overcome these problems, there is often still a part of us that doesn't want them gone, because it's like getting rid of a dirty security blanket. It's unpleasant, but it's familiar. I've had a very difficult time overcoming my challenges, and I have felt almost like I've grieved once they are gone. By ultimately my life is so much better without those demons in it.
March 8th, 2017 2:35pm
I personally think that we as human being, perceives what is normal being mentally and physically healthy. So refusing to get better when one is ill is not normal in this case. However, there is always a reason behind this line of thinking so that has to be addressed first and foremost.
March 23rd, 2017 11:53pm
For some people, yes. They believe that this will go on forever, so they just begin to want it to go on forever. Or maybe they benefit from it, and want it to last longer.
March 29th, 2017 4:53pm
It is, we all feel that at one point in our lives. You may be content about how things are right now, or in denial about how far reserved you've become. But at the end of the day it's your journey, you will work up the will to change when you're ready for the next chapter in your life.
April 6th, 2017 10:04am
Totally. You're probably stuck in a situation, that may be uncomfortable for you, but you're used to it and you're afraid of changing anything, experiencing something new. We all are. But sometimes it's worth to step out of your comfort zone and see what else life has to offer.
April 27th, 2017 5:46pm
No, it isn't normal to not want to get better. It is a sign that you have given up on getting better. Imagine a cancer patient, just wanting to die rather than live and do all the things that are wonderful. All those will be gone just because we got affected by a disease (not wanting to get better). It's like giving up on something you truly have passion for, it's so unsightly to see, seeing the one you love die. It's better to be better than to die with a plague that changed your life.
May 3rd, 2017 2:15am
It's very normal. I think it can be really frustrating for others to hear that but it is very understandable. Sometimes we become complacent with where we're at and it can be difficult to change, and that can be for a variety of reasons.
May 16th, 2017 4:10am
Sometimes it certainly seems easier to stay down instead of getting back up. This question is a bit vague, but I'm speculating that it might pertain to depression. I understand it can be exhausting fighting it all. It seems like a spiral that just keeps going down. Unfortunately, depression can act as a blinder to all that's good in the world. Suddenly our friends fade away and are dismissed as merely tolerating us or secretly despising us. Family may suddenly seem to not care at all or never be capable of understanding. It's entirely normal to want to just give up because fighting depression can seem like a worthless battle. But it's hard to see the sun when you've dug your own grave. It's hard to see any good when you're just looking at the bad. With that in mind, it's definitely normal to not want to get better. But you can't let it stop you.
May 30th, 2017 6:56pm
Sometimes. Having experienced this feeling, sometimes we do feel that we want to be sad, that we want to be hurt, that we want to feel a little pain. Sometimes I think we feel we want to be hurt to have attention, to get that feeling of love and comfort again in your life. Sometimes, I personally believe that feeling the emotion of not wanting to get better actually may he good. Because in a way, feeling that mean you feel something, rather than just being empty, hollow, and untouched. Its what makes you human in some sense. It'll be alright, to whoever is reading this. Just remember, stars can't shine without the darkness. ^_^
June 9th, 2017 4:12pm
It is absolutely normal. Wanting to get better requires a big change in a persons life. Sometimes you cannot be ready for a big change and you need time to digest the thought of changing. When you have been ill for a while the thought of change can feel too uncomfortable and far out of reach. In those kind of situations it is normal not to want to get better.
June 10th, 2017 8:32pm
When you have been unwell for a while, sometimes you grow accustomed to it and it becomes normal for them. Even if they do not wish to get better, it should still be encouraged. Not forced.
June 15th, 2017 12:56pm
Yes, I think it is. Sometimes when you've felt a certain way for so long it's easy to not want things to change. You're used to a routine and your comfortable even. Getting better means that you'll have to face that thing you've been putting off and that will be hard. Change is a big thing, especially if you've felt the same way for so long. It's bound to be scary but you will eventually be able to find the courage.
July 7th, 2017 2:58am
This kind of state is when serious of unfortunate events happened in a persons life, he starts to think it is okay not to get better whenever I tries, something bad happens. This state of mind restricts change, of course positive. This stickness to one place will eventually leave him at the end of the race of success and he'll eventually choose to suicide. So it's not normal, we should keep on trying to get better from our what we were nano seconds and we'll fine us in the most successful persons ever.
July 13th, 2017 5:14pm
Yes, it's normal. Sometimes when a person has been suffering for so long, their suffering becomes a part of them. That suffering is all that that person knows - in fact sometimes they think that they have become their disease. The suffering has gone on for so long that the person doesn't even know who they would be without it. It's understandable to fear getting better.
July 20th, 2017 2:07pm
Sadness can be addicting. It drives away other nuanced emotions, takes away the desire to change or do better, and if it is a sadness that has been endured for a long time it can almost become a sense of self. While it isn't good, it is something that happens. But it still needs to be overcome.
August 11th, 2017 9:21pm
Well it can be, if people are pushing you to get better then that can be a reason why you wouldn't want to as well. If that's not the reason then it may be you don't see it's the right time. Getting better starts within yourself, only you can help yourself more than anyone else and why you may ask? because you know yourself best.
August 30th, 2017 1:46pm
Yes, it is. Specially when you have felt bad for a long time. You get used to feeling down and can get scared of feeling better/differently because it's like you have forgotten how it feels like. You can be scared of not knowing how to handle it. So continuing to feel bad starts to seem like the better option, even though it isn't.
September 1st, 2017 5:16am
Absolutely. Depression weighs you down with this hopeless feeling, and getting better seems like it might only make things worse. Oftentimes, the knowledge that getting better will involve sorting through and acknowledging these upsetting feelings scares us, because then everything is real. The journey may seem daunting, but the end result is so worth it.
September 13th, 2017 7:58pm
Sometimes, the sorrows we live with become such a huge part of us that it becomes our identity of who we are. Maybe you may have other reason to feel that way, but it is up to you about what you feel is normal or not.
November 1st, 2017 4:18pm
Yes. Not wanting to get better is a part of recovery itself. You will give up all willpower to get better but going through this will make you come to terms that recovery is worth it and you will want to achieve this. Recovery is a rocky road and it will be a rollercoaster at times. It is not impossible. It will happen. Believe in yourself.
November 9th, 2017 10:01am
It can be sometimes, yes. It can also be a sign that you feel there is no way to get better - but there is! Remember if you want to talk to someone there are active listeners at all time waiting to have a chat.
November 10th, 2017 6:39pm
It is. It's often scary to get better maybe because you might not be used to the feeling of wellbeing. Taking a step out from your darkness means you're getting out of something you're used to, your comfort zone. That can be very scary and challenging.