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Is it normal to not want to get better?

296 Answers
Last Updated: 11/26/2020 at 9:05pm
Is it normal to not want to get better?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jennifer Fritz, LMSW, PhD

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

Day to day life can be stressful and overwhelming and my strength is assisting my clients in a supportive, empowering and practical manner.

Top Rated Answers
carolina555
February 22nd, 2017 11:23pm
When you've lived a certain way for so long,you may feel resistant to any change with your daily routines or emotional outlook.It's natural to feel like recovery is difficult and will bring about new challenges.As well as this,sometimes our health problems become part of our personalities and we feel like getting better is loosing a part of ourselves. In reality,you are NOT a crazy ego maniac who loves the attention of being ill ; you are just frightened of the changes that will happen as your life moves forward.In both mental health and physical health it IS completely normal to resist getting better because of the anxiety that comes with new steps forward and life changes.
greynarwhal
February 23rd, 2017 5:07am
My answer is a resounding yes. Whatever struggles we face are there for a reason. They become a part of our very nature and character. They fill a need in our lives. They also really negatively impact our lives. But as we decide to overcome these problems, there is often still a part of us that doesn't want them gone, because it's like getting rid of a dirty security blanket. It's unpleasant, but it's familiar. I've had a very difficult time overcoming my challenges, and I have felt almost like I've grieved once they are gone. By ultimately my life is so much better without those demons in it.
Anonymous
March 7th, 2017 3:58am
Humans are creatures of custom. We get used to the way things are, and we can get very comfortable in a situation...even if it's a bad one. Sometimes it's hard to see beyond the moment, to imagine the future. And it can seem like the situation we have, with all of its challenges, is safer and easier than what might come if things change. BUT...if you're suffering, then you need to keep reminding yourself that you can have a better life. You can feel better. You can be better. It's okay to appreciate what we have, but we should never let that hold us back from improvement. Some day, when you're feeling better, you're going to be so grateful that you made the needed changes, that you took the risk and let yourself improve. All the best with your journey...there are bright things ahead! Trust yourself, and trust happiness.
Anonymous
March 8th, 2017 2:35pm
I personally think that we as human being, perceives what is normal being mentally and physically healthy. So refusing to get better when one is ill is not normal in this case. However, there is always a reason behind this line of thinking so that has to be addressed first and foremost.
Anonymous
March 15th, 2017 8:14pm
I think that it's normal to not want to get better sometimes, it's a process to go through recovery and a lot of people go through the 'I want to get better' and 'I don't want to get better' processes of any illness.
Anonymous
March 17th, 2017 4:46pm
When I am experience a major depressive episode, I don't want to get better. I sink into the dark feeling and just let the world wash over me. Sometimes it takes support from others to bring me up to the point where I want to get better for myself, but I think it is a normal experience to just give over to the problem.
alexxlistens
March 23rd, 2017 11:53pm
For some people, yes. They believe that this will go on forever, so they just begin to want it to go on forever. Or maybe they benefit from it, and want it to last longer.
CK927
March 29th, 2017 4:53pm
It is, we all feel that at one point in our lives. You may be content about how things are right now, or in denial about how far reserved you've become. But at the end of the day it's your journey, you will work up the will to change when you're ready for the next chapter in your life.
esceflora
April 6th, 2017 10:04am
Totally. You're probably stuck in a situation, that may be uncomfortable for you, but you're used to it and you're afraid of changing anything, experiencing something new. We all are. But sometimes it's worth to step out of your comfort zone and see what else life has to offer.
beautifulPeace50
April 9th, 2017 3:22pm
At some point we can be there, when we cant see anything but grey and black. When we retreat for a while i can say its normal, but if we get stuck to that feeling when we really dont want to get better then it is not.
Anonymous
April 27th, 2017 5:46pm
No, it isn't normal to not want to get better. It is a sign that you have given up on getting better. Imagine a cancer patient, just wanting to die rather than live and do all the things that are wonderful. All those will be gone just because we got affected by a disease (not wanting to get better). It's like giving up on something you truly have passion for, it's so unsightly to see, seeing the one you love die. It's better to be better than to die with a plague that changed your life.
Anonymous
May 3rd, 2017 2:15am
It's very normal. I think it can be really frustrating for others to hear that but it is very understandable. Sometimes we become complacent with where we're at and it can be difficult to change, and that can be for a variety of reasons.
Freedangel
May 16th, 2017 4:10am
Sometimes it certainly seems easier to stay down instead of getting back up. This question is a bit vague, but I'm speculating that it might pertain to depression. I understand it can be exhausting fighting it all. It seems like a spiral that just keeps going down. Unfortunately, depression can act as a blinder to all that's good in the world. Suddenly our friends fade away and are dismissed as merely tolerating us or secretly despising us. Family may suddenly seem to not care at all or never be capable of understanding. It's entirely normal to want to just give up because fighting depression can seem like a worthless battle. But it's hard to see the sun when you've dug your own grave. It's hard to see any good when you're just looking at the bad. With that in mind, it's definitely normal to not want to get better. But you can't let it stop you.
Anonymous
May 30th, 2017 6:56pm
Sometimes. Having experienced this feeling, sometimes we do feel that we want to be sad, that we want to be hurt, that we want to feel a little pain. Sometimes I think we feel we want to be hurt to have attention, to get that feeling of love and comfort again in your life. Sometimes, I personally believe that feeling the emotion of not wanting to get better actually may he good. Because in a way, feeling that mean you feel something, rather than just being empty, hollow, and untouched. Its what makes you human in some sense. It'll be alright, to whoever is reading this. Just remember, stars can't shine without the darkness. ^_^
Anonymous
June 9th, 2017 4:12pm
It is absolutely normal. Wanting to get better requires a big change in a persons life. Sometimes you cannot be ready for a big change and you need time to digest the thought of changing. When you have been ill for a while the thought of change can feel too uncomfortable and far out of reach. In those kind of situations it is normal not to want to get better.
TheRedSelkie
June 10th, 2017 8:32pm
When you have been unwell for a while, sometimes you grow accustomed to it and it becomes normal for them. Even if they do not wish to get better, it should still be encouraged. Not forced.
Anonymous
June 15th, 2017 12:56pm
Yes, I think it is. Sometimes when you've felt a certain way for so long it's easy to not want things to change. You're used to a routine and your comfortable even. Getting better means that you'll have to face that thing you've been putting off and that will be hard. Change is a big thing, especially if you've felt the same way for so long. It's bound to be scary but you will eventually be able to find the courage.
Anonymous
July 7th, 2017 2:58am
This kind of state is when serious of unfortunate events happened in a persons life, he starts to think it is okay not to get better whenever I tries, something bad happens. This state of mind restricts change, of course positive. This stickness to one place will eventually leave him at the end of the race of success and he'll eventually choose to suicide. So it's not normal, we should keep on trying to get better from our what we were nano seconds and we'll fine us in the most successful persons ever.
Anonymous
July 13th, 2017 5:14pm
Yes, it's normal. Sometimes when a person has been suffering for so long, their suffering becomes a part of them. That suffering is all that that person knows - in fact sometimes they think that they have become their disease. The suffering has gone on for so long that the person doesn't even know who they would be without it. It's understandable to fear getting better.
Anonymous
July 20th, 2017 2:07pm
Sadness can be addicting. It drives away other nuanced emotions, takes away the desire to change or do better, and if it is a sadness that has been endured for a long time it can almost become a sense of self. While it isn't good, it is something that happens. But it still needs to be overcome.
VanessaGraceStory
August 11th, 2017 9:21pm
Well it can be, if people are pushing you to get better then that can be a reason why you wouldn't want to as well. If that's not the reason then it may be you don't see it's the right time. Getting better starts within yourself, only you can help yourself more than anyone else and why you may ask? because you know yourself best.
Anonymous
August 30th, 2017 1:46pm
Yes, it is. Specially when you have felt bad for a long time. You get used to feeling down and can get scared of feeling better/differently because it's like you have forgotten how it feels like. You can be scared of not knowing how to handle it. So continuing to feel bad starts to seem like the better option, even though it isn't.
Anonymous
September 1st, 2017 5:16am
Absolutely. Depression weighs you down with this hopeless feeling, and getting better seems like it might only make things worse. Oftentimes, the knowledge that getting better will involve sorting through and acknowledging these upsetting feelings scares us, because then everything is real. The journey may seem daunting, but the end result is so worth it.
Anonymous
September 13th, 2017 7:58pm
Sometimes, the sorrows we live with become such a huge part of us that it becomes our identity of who we are. Maybe you may have other reason to feel that way, but it is up to you about what you feel is normal or not.
sophieishere
November 1st, 2017 4:18pm
Yes. Not wanting to get better is a part of recovery itself. You will give up all willpower to get better but going through this will make you come to terms that recovery is worth it and you will want to achieve this. Recovery is a rocky road and it will be a rollercoaster at times. It is not impossible. It will happen. Believe in yourself.
Beazalbee
November 2nd, 2017 6:52pm
This is different for everybody of course but I have felt this way before, personally it feels easier to let emotions take over because making a conscious decision to go into recovery is a big leap of faith in yourself. It's an uphill battle because if you lose focus in recovering yourself sometimes you can fall further into depression than before, so subconsciously we choose to adapt with our depression and welcome it rather than fight it.
SarahTheCarer
November 9th, 2017 10:01am
It can be sometimes, yes. It can also be a sign that you feel there is no way to get better - but there is! Remember if you want to talk to someone there are active listeners at all time waiting to have a chat.
heartfeltTouch
November 10th, 2017 6:39pm
It is. It's often scary to get better maybe because you might not be used to the feeling of wellbeing. Taking a step out from your darkness means you're getting out of something you're used to, your comfort zone. That can be very scary and challenging.
Ky23
November 11th, 2017 2:24am
I think this feeling is completely valid, but not healthy. I think sometimes we get so used to feeling a certain way and living a certain way due to that feeling. Having the feeling of not wanting to get better is sort of like a crutch. It seems easier to keep using the crutch, even when you know you've healed.
Anonymous
November 16th, 2017 1:41pm
I'd say it's normal to not want to change, so if you are in case sick, then yes, this could be considered normal. But it is also normal for people to want to change too.