Moderated by
Smita Joshi, BA Psychology / MA / Advanced EFT Practitioner
Counselor
I am empathetic with my Clients going through emotional overwhelm and passionate in helping them. I am supportive, openminded & interactive in helping my clients.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
September 13th, 2017 7:58pm
Sometimes, the sorrows we live with become such a huge part of us that it becomes our identity of who we are. Maybe you may have other reason to feel that way, but it is up to you about what you feel is normal or not.
Yes. Not wanting to get better is a part of recovery itself. You will give up all willpower to get better but going through this will make you come to terms that recovery is worth it and you will want to achieve this. Recovery is a rocky road and it will be a rollercoaster at times. It is not impossible. It will happen. Believe in yourself.
It can be sometimes, yes. It can also be a sign that you feel there is no way to get better - but there is! Remember if you want to talk to someone there are active listeners at all time waiting to have a chat.
It is. It's often scary to get better maybe because you might not be used to the feeling of wellbeing. Taking a step out from your darkness means you're getting out of something you're used to, your comfort zone. That can be very scary and challenging.
I think this feeling is completely valid, but not healthy. I think sometimes we get so used to feeling a certain way and living a certain way due to that feeling. Having the feeling of not wanting to get better is sort of like a crutch. It seems easier to keep using the crutch, even when you know you've healed.
Anonymous
November 16th, 2017 1:41pm
I'd say it's normal to not want to change, so if you are in case sick, then yes, this could be considered normal. But it is also normal for people to want to change too.
No, because if you don't want to get better than you'll feel even worse. It's not bad to ask for help or to get better you just have to want it
Anonymous
November 18th, 2017 6:56pm
Getting healthy takes a lot of time and effort. You should want to get better as a first step. Do it for your self!
Very normal. Especially if what you are not wanting to get better from is giving you a whole lot of pleasure and meeting 4 or more of your 6 human needs. Our subconsciuos minds love pleasure and staying in their comfort zones. Anything that is a change from comfort is a red flag for danger. And you will start to meet some resistance from your subconscious mind, signalling danger.
I think that not wanting to get better are different fears in disguise. If you have suffered from mental illnesses for a while, it seems to take over your personality. That might cause the thought of not wanting to get better, because we are unsure of who we even are without our illness, but that is something we will discover during recovery. In the end all our efforts will be worth it.
Anonymous
December 9th, 2017 5:19am
I think this is an excellent question that should be explored in a different question. What happens differently when your unwell compared to when you are? Is it the type of attention that is received? Is there another way to get this attention while well? Is it the people or a certain person that is only present in times of illness? Is there other means to invite them into your life when you are well? Sometimes, a person can become stuck in either an ill or unhappy state due to the fear of being happy. So it could also be a fear of being hurt again. If so, then the pros and cons should that behavior can be confronted and examined. Without knowing real details, these are just some thoughts.
It can be common to get caught in a cycle of negativity and not want to get better for any number of reasons. However, most people want to get better deep inside. Sometimes that desire is just hard to see in the haze of troubles.
We all experience plateaus once in awhile; periods of time where it feels like we can't or don't want to get better. The best thing you can do is ride out the wave and push further towards your goal.
Sometimes you are so used to the bad things that you don’t want change. It’s completely normal, but that doesn’t mean it’s healthy.
Anonymous
December 20th, 2017 10:36am
I think getting better is a scary road. Not sure anyone wants to venture down that road. Brave people will try, and I think once you have collected enough energy and have the support, you can make that journey in your own time. If you aren't ready, you don't need to feel guilty, it just may mean you need to rest up a bit and then take another go. It's exhausting, when you are already running on empty. It's normal. I know you will make it, at your own pace. Happy you're here!
Anonymous
December 20th, 2017 5:38pm
Completely normal. I find myself questioning if I really do want to get better multiple times a day. We’re so used to the negativity in our lives that we feel as though we wouldn’t be able to handle the positivity or change that comes with it, sometimes we have our happy days and we think ‘this feels good but it won’t last’ and instead of enjoying the good times we spend our time worrying about the downfall that’s waiting to happen. Savour those happy days and enjoy them as much as you can.
Anonymous
December 22nd, 2017 4:10am
Yes it is, and because wanting to get better is not too different from wanting to anything else at all: it's active work, and the thought of doing it can be daunting. Give yourself the space and time, and do one small thing each day. It gets better.
Anonymous
December 30th, 2017 10:00am
I think sometimes, yes. Sometimes getting better isn't our priority but to find a person who can comprehend our present state is much more important. Infact that is the first step towards getting better.
Anonymous
December 30th, 2017 5:06pm
Yeah it's normal to not wanting to get better. Obviouslly sometimes I enjoy the feeling of being lonely and just sad... it's a different spice in life too. Ofcourse not all the time. Both should be balanced out.
It is extremely normal, many have felt the way you do now including myself. It feels as though what you are experiencing is a part of you. It may take time for you to realize it does not define you and that you are stronger than it.
Yes absolutely. Often there is a sense of solace around your problem. Always a layer of a blanket smuggling you in with the ability to craft an excuse by pointing back to it.
Breaking away from that comfort zone is all you need to confront the problem. Once you confront the problem, it’s way easier to break through.
Well, the person might be satisfied with his/her self, or doesn't see his/her flaws at the moment.
Like, maybe they like themselves just the way the are and don't feel the needs to change.
It's completely normal. Getting better takes effort and is a new experience when you've felt a certain way for a long time. It can seem scary and it seems easier just to stay the way you are. Even if these feelings make you feel miserable, they're familiar, so it's more comforting to choose familiar over unfamiliar (getting better). Also, you may not be ready to get better, which is also ok. Not everyone wants to get better. It's a pretty common experience.
It is very normal. Sometimes when you've been in a low place for a long time, it almost feels like a security blanket. Getting better means stepping out of the comfort zone that you have made for yourself, and that's not an easy thing to do! However, as comfortable and safe as you may feel right now, there is so much more on the other side of those walls that are so difficult to scale. It's not an easy journey, and it's definitely not comfortable, but the payout is so worth it.
Anonymous
February 3rd, 2018 7:07am
It is understandable, if not normal. Sometimes, the state we're in is all we know, so getting better is a foreign and perhaps even scary concept. However, getting better is a good thing, no matter how scary the unknown may seem.
In some situations, the way you feel, even if it is negative, can give a feeling of safety. For many people, that can be difficult to get out of, so they are not able to work on themselves.
Anonymous
February 4th, 2018 2:45am
It is quite normal when we are feeling down and feel that things are not getting better. By unburdening ourselves, releasing distress (including by talking) can make us feel better. Feeling better is the first step in getting better.
Anonymous
February 7th, 2018 4:36am
It's normal to feel this way, because getting better is going to be hard and a struggle, but it is worth it in the end. trust me I did it.
Anonymous
February 7th, 2018 9:04pm
I think this is sometimes normal. For me I have personally experienced a lot of trauma, and I believe you have to be ready to face your trauma. Right now, I believe that if I start therapy, It may overwhelm me with starting college. I find it helps to do meditations and self help for now.
of course! some people feel like it's better to stay safe than sorry, maybe you're just scared of what's to come but it IS normal. the important thing now is to reflect on why and work on how!
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