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my boyfriend is depressed and he's pushing me away. what do i do?

7 Answers
Last Updated: 05/05/2020 at 11:28am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Brittany Kelley, MSW, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I am a psychodynamically trained clinical social worker. I find assisting women and families through difficult times an extremely rewarding and collaborative process.

Top Rated Answers
Katieelee
June 19th, 2018 8:44pm
If he is depressed the most you can do is be there for him. How him he’s not alone and reassure him of his purpose here. Give him motivation , rather it’s going out to play his favorite sport or going to his favorite restaurant, show him the positive .
Anonymous
May 29th, 2018 2:46pm
Try and understand him in every possible way. Try and be patient with him. If he is pushing you away, get back for a couple of days, and bounce back again to him. If he always responds as welcoming then he needs you. Make sure you make him feel as if you are alqays there for him no matter what.
sweetPeace17
June 11th, 2018 8:19pm
Try and support him as much as possible. Make sure you stay in contact and try and get him out of the house as much as possible. Make sure he is aware that you are there for him but don’t bug him as it may backfire.
Anonymous
September 19th, 2019 3:10pm
yes, going into restaurant is a good idea! By the way, do you know that there is a better way to help him get rid of depression? You have to do something together! For example, when I only opened my restaurant, my girlfriend helped me (simply, it was her idea to start a restaurant business), and when we did everything together (I mean that we moved kitchen equipment like cake displays, blenders, mixers, dishwashers and kitchen benches) and it relaxed us because we felt the support of each other... However, I understood that I overpaid for the kitchen equipment only after the case when I talked to my friend from Australia that they have cheap restaurant equipment
Demixl
September 19th, 2019 3:11pm
yes, going into restaurant is a good idea! By the way, do you know that there is a better way to help him get rid of depression? You have to do something together! For example, when I only opened my restaurant, my girlfriend helped me (simply, it was her idea to start a restaurant business), and when we did everything together (I mean that we moved kitchen equipment like cake displays, blenders, mixers, dishwashers and kitchen benches) and it relaxed us because we felt the support of each other... However, I understood that I overpaid for the kitchen equipment only after the case when I talked to my friend from Australia that they have cheap restaurant equipment
gentleBanana3888
December 10th, 2019 4:52pm
Experiencing the same thing right now and it's pretty difficult to handle this. Sometimes it feels like he doesn't want to have anything to do with me anymore sometimes I find a spark of hope. I guess sending him short messages of comfort or reassurance would help. Try not to do it everyday (I tried doing it everyday but I figured it might pressure him so i reduced it to every 2 days or so). I mean really at this point we can't really do much but be there for them and take off the pressure on them. Hopefully they come around soon.
Anonymous
May 5th, 2020 11:28am
First and foremost, know that he is going through a lot. He perhaps doesn't mean to act in such a way but depression really affects one's wellbeing. You should try to speak to him gently and let him know that you are there for him. If he ignores you, don't rage because that will make the person feel more lonely. Sometimes just having the person around is enough. Try giving your boyfriend some space at different times. When you see that he is upset, allow them a few moments to thing. Maybe be wants alone time but certainly do not abandon them because it's a hard journey