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What do I do when my husband is depressed?

117 Answers
Last Updated: 05/17/2021 at 3:10pm
What do I do when my husband is depressed?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Evelyn Coker, MSW, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I am down to earth and enjoy working with all clients. I have a special passion to support teen girls and women. My work is nonjudgmental and provides a safe space to grow.

Top Rated Answers
Royz1
May 29th, 2016 11:23am
I think you should try to listen to him about what is making him feel like that. I know that when im depressed i need someone to listen to me i thelps me alot. Moreover you can try take him to a place to both like and you can sit and talk about it or just have a break and have some fun together !. Hope i could help.
TeenWolf
May 29th, 2016 6:00pm
As a wife you should be supportive to him during this time maybe he's having a hard time adjusting to new changes or maybe he just needs someone to talk to like his loving wife :)
BabyKirby
June 1st, 2016 6:42pm
Just let him know you are there for him. He may not want to talk. And that's o.k. Sometimes we just need assurance that we are not alone.
wayfairer
June 1st, 2016 9:25pm
This is a tough question to answer because the best answer is going to be heavily tailored to what is going on in both the lives of you and your husband. The first thing you can do is make sure you are in a somewhat okay headspace yourself - you can't pour from an empty cup. Do you know what is causing your husbands depression? Have you mapped out where it came from, when it started, and have you asked him in detail about what you can do to help? Communication is your strongest tool in your toolbox here. Remember though that this is about him, and it has to come from him at a pace he can handle. Feel free to message me more if you would like some more conversation about this important topic!
Anonymous
June 2nd, 2016 7:04am
Show him love and support, it would be good for him to know that he can count on you to be there for him.
Oniichan
June 2nd, 2016 10:20am
You have to know what type of person your husband is. If he is the kind that doesn't like to talk about his problems, just let him know in a subtle way that you are there for him if you need him. Let him come to you if he feels the need to, do not pressure or suffocate him. Just be there for him.
Anonymous
June 3rd, 2016 5:31am
be the spouse you are when you were marrying him and love him endlessly as you did when you were saying your vows.
SmellyCat89
June 3rd, 2016 5:14pm
First of all, be warm and supportive. Don't judge -- depression often does not have a reason, it just happens. Listen to him. Also, do the simple things he must have that he loves, either long walks or delicious food. For many, music tends to soothe them, also.
brightmountain
June 5th, 2016 12:15am
It can be difficult to help an adult with depression because they really have to be the ones who are proactive and tackle the situation head-on. The best thing you can do for your husband is be supportive of him. Try talking to him about how he feels and avoid any judgement. It could also be helpful to encourage him to go out and do things that he enjoys or has enjoyed because depressed people tend to isolate themselves. If the situation calls for it, you might want to consider talking about seeing a mental health professional that can help him through it.
HawaiianAir
June 5th, 2016 8:09pm
If your husband is depressed, there are many different angles from which you can approach the situation. One thing to consider is that you may want him to talk about if he knows why he's depressed or if he needs to see a counselor. Another way in which you can help your husband with sadness is to get him to go see a counselor with you. This sometimes is less severe and easier for a person to deal with their feelings. Husbands, boyfriends, and significant others suffer from depression and feeling blue just as much as anyone else. Seeking counseling or therapy is the best route. Good luck convincing them - sometimes husbands are stubborn!
Anonymous
June 5th, 2016 9:20pm
Let him know that he doesn't have to tell you why he's upset,but that you love him and you will be there if he needs to talk to someone
JoyfulHeart822
June 8th, 2016 2:08am
Talk to him about how he feels. Sometimes people who are depressed need someone to encourage them to get up and do something. He might even just want to talk. Being there for him is the best thing you can do. If there seems to be cause for serious concern, get professional help.
EmilyAnnMarie
June 8th, 2016 8:39pm
Make sure you're there for him every second of it, that's all you can do, letting him know someone is there.
Anonymous
June 11th, 2016 1:30am
Be there for him and stand by his side. I'm sure he'll appreciate you by him side and that will help him a lot to know that he has someone with him no matter what
enigmaticWillow68
June 12th, 2016 2:42am
Be his emotional support and help him along the way to over come his depression however don't leave him to deal with it oh his own
Anonymous
June 12th, 2016 3:00pm
You let him know you are there for him if he needs to talk and you support him. If it gets bad, you suggest counseling and support whatever decision he makes.
DG943
June 15th, 2016 10:41pm
The best thing to do is just listen, support and comfort him! It will help knowing he has someone to turn to.
magneticFaith11
June 16th, 2016 7:24am
Depression can be helped and soothed by discussion! Try and connect with him, showing empathy. If further action is needed, contact a hotline.
AriellaZwill
June 16th, 2016 5:19pm
Try to help him as much as you can. Show him you care and that you very much love him. Sometimes people just need to know they are loved.
RogerDan555
June 17th, 2016 5:36am
Cheer him up!! See, you can help him by talking things out with him. You need to understand the reasons for his depression. Chances are, the results may not come out as expected but at least he may feel that you care about. Take guidance from a therapist if condition worsens.
queenofspaids
June 18th, 2016 2:11am
The best thing to do I think would be to talk to him and see how you can help. As someone dealing with depression my number one support is my spouse. I go to counseling, but he's with me 24/7 and just being able to talk freely with him helps me the most.
DanielMotivating
June 22nd, 2016 3:09am
Give him space, no pressure atmosphere, and motivate him to do the things he loves! People who suffer from depression typically are depleted of positive energy to move forward. Keep giving and loving, and the wheel will start turning again!
Auntyessy
June 22nd, 2016 3:36pm
Try and offer him some support, ask him to talk to you about whats troubling him make him his favorite meal or take him to dinner or watch a funny movie. Its important he doesnt feel alone and he knows he has you to support him. Try to find a hobby you can do with him.
Anonymous
June 22nd, 2016 7:57pm
Just be there for him, make him feel like hes not alone. Don't let him face it alone, just be there for him.
Anonymous
June 24th, 2016 4:52am
Giving him support is the best you can do honestly. Make sure he is taking his medication and trying to no stress him or make things worst for him. Sometimes a hug or just letting the person alone for a little is the best.
Anonymous - Expert in Depression
June 26th, 2016 5:13am
Stay by your husband's side, provide him with the support he needs and keep yourself in a healthy mindset too - get professional help and extra assistance to maintain a positive environment
SeraYokuhira
June 26th, 2016 5:53pm
Just be a good wife and start with the little things to soothe him. Depressed people often find it hard to relax. You just need to know you're there for him. If you don't know why he's depressed, don't pry if he doesn't want to talk about it. Instead, just stay there in silence. If he wants to be alone, then stay away, but be within reach still. Husband and wife must always be there for each other no matter the situation. Stand by his side and make him happy. As I said, start with the little things to bring those tiny satisfactions, like breakfast in bed, his favorite meals, do some of his chores. Spoil him if you can..., it's just for the time anyways. Make a few jokes about how he's so going to owe you when he's feeling better. Long answer short, just be there.
NaturalScience
June 26th, 2016 9:19pm
Depression affects most people at some point in their lives. First, just try and be supportive. Show kindness and compassion, and encourage him to get involved in some things you know he enjoys. Think if anything has changed recently. Sometimes depression stems from a circumstance or environmental factor. In this case, let him know you're in this together. Try and brainstorm. If he seems beyond your reach, or is talking about self-injury or suicide, or the problem is chronic (persists for more than several months), it is time to get professional medical help.
Anonymous
June 30th, 2016 4:36pm
Reassure him that your still there for him but don't push him to opening up until he's ready ☺ in doing this he will has some type of reassures that you care and respect that he's not ready to share
TheShy
July 1st, 2016 6:11pm
Stand by his side, do not give him up. Listen to his worries, tell him you're there for him. Reassure him. Look for help. There's therapists that can help couples and individuals.