Whats worse, a tear that shows your depression or a fake smile that covers it?

40 Answers
Last Updated: 01/30/2018 at 7:52pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Amelia Winsby, PsyD

Psychologist

I often work with clients who experience a wide range of emotions and difficulties. I am non-judgmental and enjoy working with individuals from all walks of life.

Top Rated Answers
5ense
February 26th, 2015 7:22pm
Crying or showing your depression is not wrong or bad in any way, neither is a fake smile that covers it. These are ways to cope and everyone copes differently. Additionaly, keeping your feelings for yourself is never good.
MikeSupportiveListener
February 26th, 2015 11:23pm
It depends on the context. If you're at work, it might not always be appropriate to show emotions (sad I know!). It might also not be safe to show a tear in front of a bully of an intolerant or mean person! However most of the time I think being authentic (in front of people we trust particularly) is good because then they know to comfort us and talking to us about our situation. If we hide it then we tend to bottle it up and it gets worse over time.
SailorAna
August 4th, 2015 5:51am
For me, it would be the fake smile that covers it. Why? Because one step towards recovering from depression is to not be ashamed of having it, and not wasting so much precious energy faking. When you show it, you open yourself to receive the love of your friends and family, and their help in turn. You open roads of communication about what is troubling you with your loved ones. And little by little, you start realizing that there isn't something wrong with you, that depression attacks a lot of people and a lot of people have beaten it, and then you start speaking out your needs so you get therapy/meds/long talks/comprehension/stress relief, etc.
lovelyOcean15
August 24th, 2015 5:29pm
A fake smile is worse one to cover my depression. To me, crying may express and vent out my feelings instead of having a fake smile on my face telling everyone that I am okay but I am not.
niamhXxxx
December 29th, 2015 12:44pm
Sometimes a tear is good. Embracing your emotions rather than bottling them up is better for you own health. Showing your vulnerablity to someone close to you can lead to help from them and also stronger bonds with friends. Showing your depressed is not a sign of weakness, it's a sign that you've noticed you're not well and are trying to improve your life which is always good.
Konohura
March 18th, 2015 10:39am
The smile that covers it is worse, that smile is like a cork bottling all your pain and chaos in your mind. Let the tears come, let yourself cry, crying is not a sign of a weakness, it's a sign of strength. Those who cry admit their weakness, and show the will to strengthen themselves.
Alwaysdreamin
March 19th, 2015 12:29am
Crying is letting out the pain. It is a sign that you are accepting it. Acceptance is a part of getting better. This is normal and actually healthy for people who are depressed. You probably know how hard it is to hold it in and have that fake smile. For me, it only caused greater depression, however, everyone is different. There is so much more freedom now that I am open about my depression. Tell others that you trust.
PashT007
April 11th, 2015 3:22am
A smile that tries to cover depression is worse because you can't get help or overcome if you are in denial or trying to hide it. Nothing wrong with showing emotions, it may make you feel better. Allow your emotions to flow, tears shed heaviness.
cordial2394
May 1st, 2015 6:42am
It depends.. are you with friends.. or are you at work trying to be professional.. among friends its okay to have a tear or two.. at work, especially if you are working directly with the customer, or in sales, a lot of times it will damage your ability to perform your job (unless you are on the phone or computer and they can't see your face).. if you are working and unable to show your emotions at the moment I would purposefully pick a method to express your feelings to another person or to a journal, someone safe, where it won't impact a job performance review.
JustLikeaDream
May 20th, 2015 2:13am
Fake smile that covers it. You don't have to open up to everyone, but it's not healthy to bottle everything inside and avoid dealing with your feelings. Try to talk to a close friend, or someone you trust. You don't have to tell them everything you're going through, but maybe a part of it to lighten your load, if you're comfortable with it.
enchantingMonkey63
May 30th, 2015 4:11am
A fake smile, from experience :)
Anonymous
May 30th, 2015 2:30pm
A fake smile that covers it, simply because you're delaying any chance of helping yourself, or denying other people chance to prove that they want to support you.
Anonymous
June 10th, 2015 1:27pm
a fake smile can hurt more. when you try and cover up and put on a 'mask' to hide your tears it can hurt you more because you keep it inside. crying is a natural reaction. and its normal. when you show your tears it helps you cope with your issues. also allows you to release that burden. keeping it inside and not showing can hurt you more in the long run. don't be afraid to cry, let it out, trust me you will feel a lot better
ALovingPeony
June 17th, 2015 5:12am
A tear. Or even better, lots of tears. Being able to feel safe enough to show your genuine emotion is a very important part of healing.
Anonymous
June 30th, 2015 1:08am
A fake smile is worse than showing your feelings. If you can't let out your feelings, they will build up and make you even more upset.
Ametrine
July 6th, 2015 2:18am
a fake smile, for sure. There is no shame in showing what you are going through. Bottling up emotions can be extremely detrimental to your overall mental health.
Anonymous
July 7th, 2015 3:15pm
a tear that covers your depression by far at least your not faking anything !!??
KatHellsing
July 7th, 2015 6:56pm
A fake smile, in my opinion. A tear doesn't really show your depression, it just shows how strong you actually are. A fake smile shows weakness and I think it doesn't cover depression. Since a lot of depressed people try to hide it that way, some people might notice its a little bit obvious. But that's just my opinion :)
Anonymous
July 21st, 2015 9:27pm
A fake smile tends to be worse, in my opinion. It becomes very hard to find the empathy that I need most when I start to build walls around my emotions.
Anonymous
September 8th, 2015 6:21pm
A smile :( you should never have to hide your pain - if you are a fake smiler please tell someone you trust or love
Anonymous
October 2nd, 2015 6:56am
A fake smile, no doubt about it. Tears don't make you weak - it means you've been too strong for too long. Don't suffer in silence - there is nothing braver than seeking help.
Comforter26
October 26th, 2015 2:53pm
What makes anything worse? In my experience with depression, I have found that avoiding anything that makes us feel worse is better than trying to find what makes us feel better. If you cry to show your vulnerability, but end up regretting letting others know of it, avoid it. But if faking a smile ends up making you feel more sad, or that no one knows or cares about what you feel, then avoid that instead. It all comes down to how you feel and avoiding making your present state worse. One step at a time.
listeningforyou
November 24th, 2015 2:47am
Society has told us to pretend to always be okay as if to seem that we do not have a disadvantage but the truth is that you can be whatever you like and if that means accepting your sad days then so be it.
Charlie982
November 30th, 2015 9:35pm
A fake smile by far. There's no shame in crying or in admitting that you need a bit of help, but covering it up with a fake smile will only make things worse.
lovelyLake94
December 15th, 2015 2:42am
You never want to put on a fake smile to cover depression. There are people out there to help you out if you need help. Don't hide it.
bluemapleleaf
February 23rd, 2016 9:32pm
A fake smile that covers it is almost always worse. If you're in a situation where you need to take care of someone else's needs however, a fake smile might be necessary temporarily.
healingSunshine24
March 1st, 2016 2:31am
A fake smile is worse than a tear in many ways because you're hiding what you need help with from everyone. No one can help you if they don't know that something is wrong. In other ways, it shows that you are strong, but you also shouldnt have to be because of that.
Anonymous
June 21st, 2016 5:09am
It is ok to feel. We all have emotions and it is healthy to be able to express them, feel them, label them and ride them out. As such it is worse to fake a smile that covers pain.
helpfulsam99
July 14th, 2016 5:37am
I think the worst thing about depression goes beyond being sad or faking a smile. The worst part is when you feel so terrible that you shut down and can't express ANY emotion, even a fake one.
coolvibes
July 18th, 2016 10:03am
People use many different coping mechanisms to get through their day. there are times when either letting your emotions lose in a safe environment is highly appropriate versus times when temporarily faking a smile will feel safer then attracting unwanted attention to your private situation while in a public arena.