Why can't I just feel happy?

105 Answers
Last Updated: 04/07/2018 at 10:42am
Why can't I just feel happy?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jamitia Wilson, MS, LAC

Pre-Licensed Professional

I believe that true healing occurs when one is able to honestly express how one feels about himself/herself and the world. I would be honored to support your healing change.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
January 1st, 2015 3:08pm
For some people it's not as easy as just feeling happy. Depression is a chemical imbalance, not a character flaw - it's not as easy as just picking yourself up and dusting yourself off.
recoveringangel
September 28th, 2015 4:12am
This question has ran through my mind about a million times, I question myself, wondering where it all went wrong. And honestly, it's okay not to be happy. It's okay not to be okay. If you deal with depression, you of all people know how hard it is to be happy. But you should keep in mind that, you are fighting a battle every single day, that you are stronger than anyone else you know, that every day you wake up is another day that you survived. Embrace the sadness, make it yours, conquer it, you can do it. I believe in you. You are strong. You can fight this. Don't let depression win.
Anonymous
February 25th, 2016 9:14pm
I wish I could tell you, but honestly I've been trying to figure out why i can't feel happy. I realized its because of the people I surround myself with
ellie017
July 31st, 2016 10:54pm
There is always a positive to life. You are alive, you get up each day even when you feel you can’t, you have a family that care about you even if they don’t show it, you have friends that care even if they don’t show it, you have that random bus driver whose day you make with your smile when you get on, you have your future, you have so many possibilities, you’ve got so much to live for, I promise you. Things sometimes can be really, really tough, but lovely, you’re tougher, and sometime soon, you’ll feel alive again and I promise you it’ll be worth it. Stick around love, you’re needed in this world for reasons you’re yet to discover. Keep going.
kalistaheartXx - Expert in Depression
March 18th, 2016 4:08am
It might be hard sometimes to feel happy, but don't give up. It takes a lot of work to be happy, thats what makes happiness so special. I know it feels terrible to not be happy, but just stick through with it, happiness will come along eventually. Meanwhile, don't feel sad too much about everything and stay calm. Things will get better. Happiness is different for everyone, so you have to learn how to be happy by yourself, on your own. If you want to feel happy immediately, just smile, it will make you feel happy right away.
frothyCandy84
February 13th, 2016 3:23pm
Happiness is an inside thing. We often want too much social validation or try to have too much on our plates or have too much expectations of ourselves. Hence this dampens the spirit and our inner happiness is diminished.
seemlywinter
December 10th, 2014 1:39am
negative thoughts and emotions often follow negative behaviours which, not by coincidence, follows negative experiences. it becomes an endless cycle that often results in more and more unhappiness. negative thoughts often come from low self-esteem, chemical imbalances, unpleasant past experiences, and so on.
JaimeKatter
January 11th, 2016 1:26am
In my case because i am one who takes the feeling of love over everything else, sometimes too much. Right now i'm in love, like never before, but it's a complicated relationship, and she's not easy either, but i love her and do anything for her. I need to learn how to manage my emotions better, i take her before myself, which sometimes is good of course, but sometimes, is actually pretty bad. I know you should always care of yourself before anything or anyone, but i just can't help it, and can't learn for more that i try.
joyfulMoon52
March 2nd, 2016 10:35am
Take a paper and a pen and write down this question there and then think about it deeply .!! you'll get the answer for sure and then write it down and read it yourself ..!!
Anonymous
December 10th, 2014 1:44am
I have found that unpleasant emotions can be a sign of something wrong. Just as pain tells you that something is wrong with your body, unpleasant emotions that keep someone from feeling happy can be from a bad situation, an attitude that could use correcting, a harmful relationship, an inner struggle that needs addressed.
iAnil4U
April 7th, 2018 10:42am
Because, we expects a lot from others. Because, we depend on others for our happiness. Because we don't guard our mind from getting undesirable information from what we see and hear, which become our thoughts and our feelings. And thoughts determine, how we perceive life. Since we are not happy, this is the driving feeling to achieve our ultimate goal of life (an unlimited happiness).
Anonymous
April 1st, 2016 7:22pm
Sorry that your unhappy. Maybe your unhappy because of something your holding on to in the past. If you think back to your past and try to find out what's getting you unhappy, then maybe you may start to feel happy.
EmpatheticEar
December 10th, 2014 8:18pm
Depending on how long you've been unhappy, you may be struggling with depression, which you should talk to a doctor or psychologist about. I've found that depression, mood issues, and unhappiness are caused by chemical factors or situational factors. If it's chemical factors that may need to be treated by need medication or even exercise. If it's a situational factor you will have to learn how to cope with that or try to make that situation better.
Anonymous
February 16th, 2016 5:18pm
Something is going on in life that makes me feel unhappy, scared, or worried. It is a feeling I think everyone shares, at different moments. Though sometimes it can be the feeling of thinking you're not good enough. It can also be something that happened in the past and has remained with us.
gloriouszebra13
February 26th, 2016 4:12am
It is impossible to feel happy when you focus on the fact that you don't currently feel happy. Happiness isn't something that can be acquired in an instant, it slowly expands over time until there are only small gaps of time where you aren't happy. To reach this, you need to take small steps towards noticing the minuscule details in everyday life that make it good: a pretty sunrise, a stranger's smile, or even just nice scents that you notice while taking a walk. Considering that constant unhappiness stems from focusing on it, by training yourself to notice small things like this you are able to escape the negative mindset and be happy.
Yourfairygodbro
February 13th, 2016 7:53am
You can, its just that you have to expect that happiness doesn't last forever. You're happy when laughing at jokes and smiling at compliments sometimes. To feel happy, you could try to distract yourself from feeling sad, I guess. Thought catalog is a great site to read about this. Actualized is a YouTube channel that helped me be a lot happier. Maybe you could look them up?
summertheseason
February 28th, 2016 7:24pm
For the longest time, I couldn't be happy. I was sad, for no reason. I had great, supportive friends. I was doing well in school. I was actually doing okay. But, I still was not happy. It was nothing I did. Soon, I tried focusing on positive aspects in my life. Good things. Like kittens, and cupcakes and free WiFi. I still get sad sometimes, but it gets easier. I promise you it will.
Anonymous
February 14th, 2016 1:49am
It's hard for people to feel happy 24/7. But some reasons why you might not feel happy is because you aren't doing things that interest you. Try altering your hobbies. Talk to friends and family. Make sure you're not being a couch potato, and make sure you're doing something you know is going to make you satisfied with yourself.
AngelHavens7
February 21st, 2016 3:48pm
There is no such thing as "happy" Unless you purchase something you like or get what you want. Happiness is a short term thing like Money, Once it's gone were left with nothing again emptiness on the inside, materialized on the out. If you're not spending time for learning to love your self that will be a great start, never give up!
2010Australia
May 5th, 2017 3:34pm
I wish I could answer this one. I saw myself as a very happy person for my entire life. Then divorce after 30 years. I was devastated. I can tell you what not to do. Do not try and recapture what you had. Do not get in a relationship to be in a relationship. I realize now I need to be comfortable with ME. Then I can perhaps become happy. I am without anyone right now. I am dependent on another person for my happiness. This is WRONG.
Nithou
December 29th, 2015 10:57pm
We all experience happiness on different level and at different time, the problem is that we think happiness is something that stays all the time, while we experience it from time to time. Try to find joy and happiness in some little thing, like talking to a friend, listening to a beautiful song, ... Even appreciating those little gems will help you seek the beautiful things in life, steps by steps :)
maxAbstracter17
February 14th, 2016 7:29pm
It's okay to not feel happy. You should first try to be content/satisfied with what you have. Contentment is key. From contentment, happiness begins. Nothing is wrong with you. Love yourself for who you are. Accept yourself for who you are.
CaringJoy
February 17th, 2016 12:19pm
Happiness is usually a state of mind so you're not feeling happy because your mind is not in a good place and you need to evaluate your thoughts and emotions to see why you're not happy.
PacificSunrise
February 25th, 2016 7:50pm
We can't feel happy sometimes because of barriers that get in the way of happiness. Our thoughts and current situations can keep us from being happy. Happiness is always there and ready to be access. Some things one can do to get there are finding humor whether from comedy or see life differently, do what you love, hang out with friends who can be silly with you, or take a vacation and relax. These actions help you distract your thoughts and focus on invoking the happiness in you.
Sanguinity
March 10th, 2016 11:34am
It might be depression, or other mental disorders. There is usually a root for every person who is depressed or unhappy for a long time. Try to find that root and cut it off. Sometimes Depression also works in the brain affecting certain chemicals in our brain that prevents us from being happy.
Anonymous
March 18th, 2016 11:27pm
You might not feel happy because you probably are going through a rough day or something had settled you into unhappiness.
Anonymous
December 10th, 2014 12:23am
Isn't necessary that you have to feel happy. You are free to feel whatever you want to feel. Don't feel bad if you just can't feel happy, nobody will judge you. But, if you think that there's something wrong, maybe you should talk with someone about how you feel.
Erynn
December 14th, 2014 6:48am
It really depends, but if you are unable to feel happy at all, I would definitely see a doctor soon. Sometimes we feel happy very briefly, and then forget it or find we can no longer value it because of depression or other negative and difficult things in our heads. Still, to be so unhappy, it sounds like therapy and/or medication will likely be helpful for you.
shvrry
February 18th, 2016 6:34am
You have to think positive and keep away those negative vibes that other people bring around you. Remember, you make up your own happiness. No one else can do it for you. Cross out everything that destroys your happiness.
Anonymous
March 3rd, 2016 7:33pm
Happiness is a state of mind not a destination. It is not permanent it will come and go and you need to have low times to appreciate the high. The bad days will pass and cherish the good- you can be happy just believe it!