Why can't I make friends?
Last Updated: 08/03/2020 at 1:54am
Courtney Cline, MS in Psychology and MS in criminal Justice
I have 15 years exeperience in working with clients suffering from depression and substance abuse. I have worked with children and adults and believe in a holistic view.
Top Rated Answers
I can't make friends because it's hard for me to approach a person first. I'm scared that they won't like me as a person.
The most likely cause is social anxiety. You are probably awkward and shy around people - and that put them off. Maybe you didn't learn how to be social at younger age and now you appear cold and distant to others. Maybe you lack "pro-social" behavior. First of all, you are not weird. Social skills are something that you can learn at any point in your life - you'll be fine afterwards.
Friends are hard to get because everyone in today's world likes to judge and base others off themselves.
It might not be that you can't make friends, but that you won't allow yourself to make them. Try to just be yourself around people. When they make the effort to talk to you, or get to know you, don't shut them out! Allow them to enter your life, and you will make friends.
The word friend means ally, someone who supports your view/situation... If you can't make friends, that doesn't mean there's something wrong with you... it just means you haven't gone through enough people to find the right person!
Lonelier people often make mistakes and have inaccurate ideas about how friendships form. Say Hi :-)
Maybe it takes you a while to lower your boundaries. Do you know if they'll be considerate enough to walk through your personality without stamping on it? Its hard. Or maybe its just that you're not able to relax enough. Think about this. Everyone on our planet today was once a stranger to everyone else. So just, relax. Forget about yourself and talk to someone or just listen to them. Let yourself share their perception. You might forget your own troubles or better yet learn something from them. It might not be what you wanted to learn but rather needed. If you think you're not comfortable enough to be humorous with people then just smile. No harm in it. And if they're not going to be satisfied with that then its okay. Maybe with time they'll come around. But if they poke fun at you for it, okay-- we shouldn't condemn all who laugh at us-- but if its unreasonable, and you know it, then look elsewhere for friendship. We live in the age of the internet. There's more than one way to meet people. So don't stay holed up or beat yourself up for being alone. We've all been there. Some more than others. I can empathise with that. This is an age old cliche, but if you're not confident enough, fake it. Pretend you're a stronger, faster or smarter you. It does wonders. Just imagine. Too hard? Give it a go. Imagine there's a blue rhino chasing a 5 legged football with eyes. Can you imagine that? Then I'm sure you can imagine a louder, more smiley, vibrant version of you. Doesn't have to be louder. Maybe you just want to sound more calm and cool . Whatever it is, if you can visualise a ridiculous looking symbol like 2 and 'add' that with 3 to make a-Victorian-key-resembling symbol like 5, then you can definitely imagine any version of you that you like. No offence to the number system ofc. In short. Smile dude. And dudette. Friends want smiles ;)
We connect with people in many different ways, not all of us have the same interests or ideals, we may think that we are alone and can't connect to other people but it is not you who is wrong, we simply don't match with some people and that is perfectly fine. The right people will come at the right time.
You could make friends...but these days kids are more mean and non trustworthy so you’re just more Cautious
Try listening more to people and ask them questions about themselves. This works if you're shy or unsure about starting a conversation with someone. It helps to compliment others, try complimenting someone on something and see if you can't turn that into a conversation. Always try to be friendly and kind, sometimes that attracts others naturally.
Making friends is extremely difficult and honestly, I struggle with this myself. Sometimes our mindset sets us back because we feel like people won't like us when they might end up liking us a lot. :) Relax and be yourself.
There could be multiple reasons for this. It could be that you're not showing the right amount of interest in them. Friendship is a two way street. You have to show interest to get interest back.
Maybe you are too shy or maybe the people you want to get to know are jerks? Who knows but if you are trying to be friends with certain people and they reject you, it's better to just move on and try with others. They are not worth it.
Making friends can depend on a lot of factors. Likes your environment,the people in your environment,personality of both the people and you,risks that people and you think about that makes it hard to talk. There might be even more factors. Talking to others can be very difficult because of the risks and skill required to create a conversation without creating problems.
Its not you can't make friends, its just you are afraid to have friends when you know they can't even understand you that's why you keep searching for a friend until you cant found one until you would say why I can't make friends.
You need to be social. Just talk with anybody on the streets or anywhere possible. Dont care about how long the conversation should be, just keep talking to as many people as you can. In time you will make some friends.
Sometimes it's because you think you can't. Having your inner-self tell you so in the first place is not okay! You are human, and humans are made to have friends and make friends. You can make friends but you just need to believe in yourself and in your abilities.
Some people try way too hard to make people like them. Just be yourself and the right people will gravitate toward you. when you try too hard to be something or someone that you are not it creates issues and a unstable foundation for the friendship.
Look at your behaviour to others.
If you can’t make friends, maybe try your best to meet new people. Start conversations and be involved with others lives. Talk about them. People love when you make things about them, ask about their day talk about what they are doing later and get really involved with them. Be nice and be fluent but don’t be too pushy. Be shuttle. Not everyone likes someone who is pushy but some people may like the persistence you give them when you’re trying to be their friends. Even if you still can’t make friends, be happy with your own confidence and self. Enjoy your own company.
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