Why can't I make friends?

19 Answers
Last Updated: 07/24/2018 at 1:48am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Courtney Cline, MS in Psychology and MS in criminal Justice

Counselor

I have 12 years exeperience in working with clients suffering from depression and substance abuse. I have worked with children and adults and believe in a holistic view.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
April 5th, 2016 12:08pm
I can't make friends because it's hard for me to approach a person first. I'm scared that they won't like me as a person.
SaturdaysChild
October 27th, 2015 11:27am
The most likely cause is social anxiety. You are probably awkward and shy around people - and that put them off. Maybe you didn't learn how to be social at younger age and now you appear cold and distant to others. Maybe you lack "pro-social" behavior. First of all, you are not weird. Social skills are something that you can learn at any point in your life - you'll be fine afterwards.
TroyKFernandez
December 8th, 2015 12:49am
Friends are hard to get because everyone in today's world likes to judge and base others off themselves.
zoeyglee
April 3rd, 2015 5:23pm
It might not be that you can't make friends, but that you won't allow yourself to make them. Try to just be yourself around people. When they make the effort to talk to you, or get to know you, don't shut them out! Allow them to enter your life, and you will make friends.
Centrist
May 28th, 2015 12:42am
The word friend means ally, someone who supports your view/situation... If you can't make friends, that doesn't mean there's something wrong with you... it just means you haven't gone through enough people to find the right person!
courageousPond53
November 17th, 2015 6:19pm
Lonelier people often make mistakes and have inaccurate ideas about how friendships form. Say Hi :-)
Curaremeaanima14
February 20th, 2017 1:52am
We connect with people in many different ways, not all of us have the same interests or ideals, we may think that we are alone and can't connect to other people but it is not you who is wrong, we simply don't match with some people and that is perfectly fine. The right people will come at the right time.
1992Helpp
August 30th, 2015 5:48pm
Maybe it takes you a while to lower your boundaries. Do you know if they'll be considerate enough to walk through your personality without stamping on it? Its hard. Or maybe its just that you're not able to relax enough. Think about this. Everyone on our planet today was once a stranger to everyone else. So just, relax. Forget about yourself and talk to someone or just listen to them. Let yourself share their perception. You might forget your own troubles or better yet learn something from them. It might not be what you wanted to learn but rather needed. If you think you're not comfortable enough to be humorous with people then just smile. No harm in it. And if they're not going to be satisfied with that then its okay. Maybe with time they'll come around. But if they poke fun at you for it, okay-- we shouldn't condemn all who laugh at us-- but if its unreasonable, and you know it, then look elsewhere for friendship. We live in the age of the internet. There's more than one way to meet people. So don't stay holed up or beat yourself up for being alone. We've all been there. Some more than others. I can empathise with that. This is an age old cliche, but if you're not confident enough, fake it. Pretend you're a stronger, faster or smarter you. It does wonders. Just imagine. Too hard? Give it a go. Imagine there's a blue rhino chasing a 5 legged football with eyes. Can you imagine that? Then I'm sure you can imagine a louder, more smiley, vibrant version of you. Doesn't have to be louder. Maybe you just want to sound more calm and cool . Whatever it is, if you can visualise a ridiculous looking symbol like 2 and 'add' that with 3 to make a-Victorian-key-resembling symbol like 5, then you can definitely imagine any version of you that you like. No offence to the number system ofc. In short. Smile dude. And dudette. Friends want smiles ;)
MotherMary
March 3rd, 2015 2:48am
Try listening more to people and ask them questions about themselves. This works if you're shy or unsure about starting a conversation with someone. It helps to compliment others, try complimenting someone on something and see if you can't turn that into a conversation. Always try to be friendly and kind, sometimes that attracts others naturally.
Tuscany
May 7th, 2015 6:46am
Making friends is extremely difficult and honestly, I struggle with this myself. Sometimes our mindset sets us back because we feel like people won't like us when they might end up liking us a lot. :) Relax and be yourself.
Anonymous
July 5th, 2016 3:16am
There could be multiple reasons for this. It could be that you're not showing the right amount of interest in them. Friendship is a two way street. You have to show interest to get interest back.
Anonymous
July 24th, 2018 1:48am
You could make friends...but these days kids are more mean and non trustworthy so you’re just more Cautious
Itsacrazylifewelive
July 20th, 2015 7:00pm
Maybe you are too shy or maybe the people you want to get to know are jerks? Who knows but if you are trying to be friends with certain people and they reject you, it's better to just move on and try with others. They are not worth it.
Yahaans
October 26th, 2015 2:15am
Making friends can depend on a lot of factors. Likes your environment,the people in your environment,personality of both the people and you,risks that people and you think about that makes it hard to talk. There might be even more factors. Talking to others can be very difficult because of the risks and skill required to create a conversation without creating problems.
honeykah
March 22nd, 2016 12:05am
Its not you can't make friends, its just you are afraid to have friends when you know they can't even understand you that's why you keep searching for a friend until you cant found one until you would say why I can't make friends.
adorableSalamander47
August 2nd, 2016 9:21am
You need to be social. Just talk with anybody on the streets or anywhere possible. Dont care about how long the conversation should be, just keep talking to as many people as you can. In time you will make some friends.
ListeningPeace83
April 26th, 2018 11:54am
Sometimes it's because you think you can't. Having your inner-self tell you so in the first place is not okay! You are human, and humans are made to have friends and make friends. You can make friends but you just need to believe in yourself and in your abilities.
Allears247
June 25th, 2018 2:30pm
Some people try way too hard to make people like them. Just be yourself and the right people will gravitate toward you. when you try too hard to be something or someone that you are not it creates issues and a unstable foundation for the friendship.
minka2
July 17th, 2018 1:25am
Look at your behaviour to others.