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Why can't I make friends without constantly feeling like I just annoy them?

15 Answers
Last Updated: 06/16/2020 at 6:07am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Dorothy Paige, MS Psychology

Licensed Professional Counselor

I believe that any issue that prevents one from living life to the fullest or prevents self love is defeating. I am committed to providing support to anyone who seeks help.

Top Rated Answers
Mikisaywhat3738
March 4th, 2015 7:45pm
I know exactly how you feel and i believe that it all comes back to self esteem. Remember how you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else? Well, working on your self love and acceptance will lead you to feel that you deserve to be appreciated as a person. You won't feel like a nuisance and if it does happen that they make you feel annoying then they don't deserve your time. you move on :). I hope that helps
Anonymous
August 22nd, 2016 6:26pm
Personally, you feeling like you are annoying people "constantly" is all in your head. Try to relax and enjoy life! If you were really annoying someone they will tell you. Also, maybe you shouldn't hang around people who make you feel annoying. This is certainly something to think about...
TheDude83
May 11th, 2015 8:48am
Finding friends, true friends is not always that simple. Some people can accept you for who you really are, others cannot. Most important is to be yourself, don't hide or pretend, speak your mind, stand up for your opinion and stick with it... people will notice if you are changing your mind too often. The feeling of being annoying come if you are too pushy, give them space and take your time, don't rush things. Friendships as well as relationships take time, get to know the person step by step only then you will truly know them and they will truly know you and either it works out or it doesn't. Just don't give up, there are always people with the same views and interests as you have but to find them, you have to share your passion and ideas.
HelpHasArrived
June 14th, 2015 12:03am
You can make friends. You're not annoying people by wanting to do things with them or just hang out or talk to them. That's what people love. All people love when they have others to communicate with and spend their time with. Don't ever feel like you are being annoying because you are not, if your friends would tell you. And the fact that you constantly feel this way makes me feel your like me and that no one has called you annoying but you are afraid to be annoying. But you are not. You are a human being that deserves respect love and communication just like every other human alive. Don't deny yourself this just because you feel you are being annoying. Chances are you aren't annoying anyone. People live to communicate with others how can that annoy anyone. Good luck,my friend.
lizzle
November 30th, 2015 3:52am
You might be hypersensitive and thinking that you are annoying your friends by being yourself, if you genuinely are annoying them and you're not trying to be someone, you're actually being who you are, then it is time to find new friends, as adapting constantly to feeling like you're not annoying people being true to yourself then they aren't that great of friends. There is friends for everyone and you are not alone. Have they actually said that you're annoying? if they haven't, then you could just be self critical of your behaviour and your identity, and you need to stop over thinking re-evaluate your position on the subject.
FeatherForever654
June 23rd, 2015 10:05pm
Because you're not confident enough with who you are. Love yourself and be happy with who you are. The sooner you love yourself, the faster people will love you. Ask your friends to stop you whenever they feel like you're annoying them. Tell them to help you out. You're simply insecure.
Anonymous
March 4th, 2015 12:46am
When people feel like this when making new friends or talking to other people who have been friends for a long time is mainly caused my General Anxiety which is very common in most people which evolves mainly around talking to others or being around other people. A way you could ease this from happening when making a new friend is to ask them questions and watch how they answer, see how interested they look when thinking about their answer and how they say their answer. Using this method will show you who should be your new friend and who shouldn't.
GuillermoDavid93
January 26th, 2016 4:12am
Maybe that feel is like a barrier that you put between yourself and other people, like a way to keep you "safe" of being exposed. It would be great that you can socialize relaxed, allowing you to be yourself, to enjoy friendship, knowing that if you annoy your friends they'll tell you (that's why they are you're friends, it's that kind of confidence what make friendship strong).- sorry about my english.
Anonymous
June 18th, 2018 4:46pm
I know that feeling. But what I try to remind myself of is that no one is forcing them to stay and talk with me. If they were annoyed they could just leave. Staying is their personal decision, so if they decide to stay they can't be all that annoyed
Anonymous
November 27th, 2018 11:51am
Feeling that you're too annoying to have friends could be all in your own head. Sometimes, you feel like you're annoying when you talk a lot And the other person doesn't seem as interested. I strive to be as un-annoying as possible. I think that many people strive for the same. Needless to say, most of us want to be liked. The most important rule is: never think of yourself as annoying because that subconsciously creates tension. Try to make your sentences as short and brief as possible, but talk more to those who actually seem to care. Listening more and talking less is a great skill too.
KatieSoul
September 19th, 2016 3:58pm
Sometimes we struggle with making friends if we aren't friends with ourselves first. Once we begin to love ourselves and be our own best friend, people are naturally drawn to our confidence and positivity! Let's start making friends of ourselves. We can be our own best company! #LoveYourself #YouArePerfect
PeppermintPanda
June 9th, 2015 12:29am
From my experience, that used to stem from feeling like I was inadequate, or wasting their time. I used to feel like I was more of an irritation than their friend. For me, this took considering what being a friend meant. Friends are friends because there is an equal give and take, usually- there is an investment in each other's lives. And meeting people, and meeting people who like what you like, is a very affirming experience. For those of you who are shy, I would recommend going to fan clubs or meetings about hobbies. For example, I'm trying to get more involved in my church community- and they run a bake sale twice a year. I'm going to go help them out tomorrow- since baking is one of my favorite hobbies. A lot of this feeling also resides in confidence, too- being anxious or afraid that you're an agitation to others because you may not feel very confident in yourself.
Anonymous
June 21st, 2016 2:24pm
It is completely normal to feel like you are annoying them. If you think you are annoying them, try to relax and make conversation in a casual way. If they are proper friends, I am sure they would tell you when you are being too... talkative.
ATypicalIntuitive
August 28th, 2018 5:34am
You are so valuable. Each and every individual has a purpose and deserves to be heard and acknowledged. Are you not feeling very valued in your friendship? Perhaps the group of friends you are talking to may not be the most positive group of friends. Perhaps consider finding yourself a group of friends with a common interest and try going from there. You will make friends. Sometimes it just takes meeting the right type of friend to really make a friendship spark into something worthwhile. And as I said before, you deserve to feel valued. Surround yourself with people who make you feel that way.
Anonymous
June 16th, 2020 6:07am
Finding friends, true friends is not always that simple. Some people can accept you for who you really are, others cannot. Most important is to be yourself, don't hide or pretend, speak your mind, stand up for your opinion and stick with it... people will notice if you are changing your mind too often. The feeling of being annoying come if you are too pushy, give them space and take your time, don't rush things. Friendships as well as relationships take time, get to know the person step by step only then you will truly know them and they will truly know you and either it works out or it doesn't. Just don't give up, there are always people with the same views and interests as you have but to find them, you have to share your passion and ideas.