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Why cant I move forward from my past?

19 Answers
Last Updated: 06/08/2021 at 8:46pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Elena Morales, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I believe silence creates a cycle. With empathic and collaborative therapy, we break the cycle. I help clients feel validated and supported passed anger, shame, and anxiety.

Top Rated Answers
June 18th, 2015 6:04am
Acceptance and Commitment therapy. Your past may be damaging but do not let it ruin your future. Lingering on to painful thoughts can ruin your chances of living a healthy and successful life. You are in charge of you. Accept what you can not change and pave yourself a new road of happiness. The reason you may not be able to move forward is because you have not been able to let go. While your looking for a brighter future you are still allowing the past to haunt you. I wish you the best of luck on your journey
November 9th, 2015 1:59am
Most reasons are that people cling to what makes them happy or sad and unfortunately we like to stick to what we know and our past is the easiest one to do it. We all need to learn from our past and apply what we learned to go forward.
April 10th, 2015 6:17pm
Maybe something had touched you so hard in your past. A talk with a trusted person can help. You will feel better.
September 14th, 2015 8:45pm
I believe that your past doesn't define you. Only the present. The past teaches you a lesson. In the words of Rafiki from the Lion King, "You can either run from it or learn from it." Mistakes happen in the past. Loss, grief, sadness, and anger. But those shouldn't stop you from looking at the positives as well. Memories are created from the past. Whether good or bad, it's not best to dwell in the past. But to live in the present. If something bad has happened in the past and you can't move forward, don't worry. There's always help and a lesson to be learned from it.
May 16th, 2015 7:29pm
Sometimes people take longer to move on from past experiences than others, and that's okay. It all depends on the person and the situation.
August 10th, 2015 2:53pm
Sometimes, the past seems like the only straw to hold on. Let it go and notice you still wont fall , better : You are free.
May 31st, 2016 12:26pm
it because you choose to be stuck in there. try to accept the fact that your story was over, turn the page and start a new chapter.
September 19th, 2017 7:57am
It is difficult to try to understand oneself without reflecting on the past. The only thing you can have influence on or change is the present. Utilizing the past as a tool to learn and grow from is perfectly healthy, but try not to become stuck in the past and no longer use it as a reflective practice tool.
June 23rd, 2015 7:54am
Sometimes our past is apart of us that we have to learn how to keep safe ! Moving forward is great , new memories help us have a safe balance that makes each day easier and enjoyable 😇
July 14th, 2015 6:14am
I believe we look to our past in order to make decisions in our future. If something didn't work out, we avoid that certain situation without realizing that the second time around could be better. We are afraid of our mistakes and avoid them at all costs. We can't move forward from our past until we learn to be okay with it.
August 25th, 2015 7:12am
The answer is almost in the question, you can't move on if you're stuck in the past. Try concentrating on your future instead, concentrate on what you can do to recover and get better. Always think about how things will effect you in the future, rather than how the past is effecting you now.
April 4th, 2016 11:37pm
sometimes I say I want to move forward but without realising it I put something in the middle so i can"t move forward. Thats when i realise maybe im not ready yet
May 8th, 2017 4:17am
Because in all probability you are stuck to the current situation and unless you make an active effort to do so however difficult it might seem to make an effort you would not be able to move on. The best thing to do is take one step in that direction and not think about the time, or number of steps it is going to take. Every step you take would take you away from the past.
July 16th, 2018 5:46pm
Because it’s in our head. We must make formatting for our brain to tell we are new life. And the best time to talk to the brain it’s to communicate with subconscious mind at night before sleeping
March 24th, 2020 1:08am
You're trying to protect yourself, it's an automatic thing. Give yourself time to make sense of it in a positive way, as a learning outcome. Making mistakes and having regrets is part of being human. We're all fossils of our past in some way. I was really bothered by how ungrateful I was to my family growing up, and by how spoiled and privileged I was. But I came to realize that a lot of people are the same way, and I'm not any less of a human being just because some people saw me that way. It doesn't mean I suffered less than my hardworking immigrant parents, because I had a lot of self-confidence issues. Everyone has not so good circrumstances that they eventually grow out of.
July 21st, 2020 6:25pm
Sometimes our past tends to be traumatic that affects us emotionally therefore it gets hard to move forward from it. But one of the keys I have learned is to accept what happened, happened for a reason. And to believe better things will surely come. Even though it might be hard to see it now but you will be able to as time passes by. Nevertheless, work on yourself, learn new things, and start a new lifestyle. That includes positivity and happiness and support from the closest people around you. And open up your thoughts and feelings to people whom you trust.
August 11th, 2020 9:55pm
Personally, I answer this from a face-to-face encounter with this particular question. Through counselling I found that I actually had to dig up things from my childhood, memories that no longer serve who I am today but surprisingly were dug deep down. Not only were they dug that deep! I realized when I spoke of them they still pained me to bring them up in such a session. It was that session that I realized it was a tipping point to challenge the idea that the past does not define who I am no more. It doesn't serve me, especially if I carry so much pain with such memories. I worked from that point on to address issues which were tied to my childhood. But not only until I picked up the courage where certain patterns from my childhood could no longer be repeated is when I spoke out to my parents and confronted belittling behavior. I can say from there on, I saw the change I always seeked. I hope this helps anyone
November 9th, 2020 10:17am
there might be something that you feel is unresolved or something that is still affecting you today - identifying what exactly you can't move on from, could show you what you still need to address in your life. once you're able to identify what it is that you're stuck on, try looking at that experience or situation objectively to determine what's still left unaddressed. Journalling, making art or music or getting these thoughts out would help make things clearly and show you patterns you might not have noticed before ! a therapist would also be able to help with this :)
June 8th, 2021 8:46pm
The past can always be difficult to deal with or let go of. But the way to look at it is, "What can I actually change about it?". Well, nothing, because that time has gone and we can't go back to it. Whilst we may not forget certain things, we can learn to accept them. Once we have processed and accepted what has happened in our lives, moving forward should naturally follow afterwards. Accept your feelings, your memories and the emotions linked to them. It's ok to think back sometimes, but don't live in those thoughts. Be in the present. Think of what is to come.