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Why do depressed people push loved ones away?

375 Answers
Last Updated: 05/15/2022 at 12:03pm
Why do depressed people push loved ones away?
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Top Rated Answers
nagars1995
March 20th, 2016 3:40pm
There can be several reasons! In my case, it felt that the depression was trying to cut me off from my support structure ,i.e family and friends. It manifested itself in a feeling of me not being worth their time or trouble.
joyfulMoon52
March 10th, 2016 3:26am
A depressed person focuses inward, into themselves. Everyone and everything outside becomes simply irrelevant. Paying attention to the outside world and the people in it requires a lot of effort and occures as a painful hassle.
wilglory
November 26th, 2017 3:58pm
Because depressed people know that saying they are depressed or they don’t feel good only make things worst. Most of the people around would say its just on the mind, find a hobby, its just your imagination, etc. And it hurts the most hearing those from your loved ones as if you invented an imaginary disorder like it doesn’t exist. That’s why people with depression push their loved ones, because they’re hurting. And don’t want to hurt them by proving their point so its better to leave.
needpeace84
September 12th, 2015 6:08pm
Because it is hard to accept that overwhelming love and caring that you get from them, knowing that you are not giving back only frustration.
Anonymous
February 7th, 2016 4:28am
Depressed people have gone through a lot of bad stuff and they are still going through bad stuff, basically it alters their whole working of brain which doesn't let them think rationally and in this case love can heal them the most.
Anonymous
February 5th, 2016 9:14pm
In my experience it's been because they didn't want to hurt their loved one, and wanted to be a better person for them. When a person doesn't communicate their problems it has an effect on everyone around them, all you can do is let them know that you are there for them. That's what I did.
becauseimhere
December 19th, 2015 5:48pm
This is a good question and I think that it's important that a lot of people understand the answer to this. From my personal experience, when I am in a bad depressive episode I really don't want people to talk to me. Don't take it personally! It could simply be the way people cope with it and they don't want you to feel like you have to put up with them like that. When I am depressed I feel like a burden to every single person who tries to help me, and this results in me pushing people away. That is one of the worst things I could do but at the time it feels right. I think it's important for you not to take it seriously as it's probably something as simple as them wanting to be alone to cope with their thoughts.
carefreeParadise46
December 20th, 2015 1:08am
They push all people away, they want to be alone. they know that people can help them but they want to be alone until someone doesnt care about that and helps the depressed person
Andrei2090
January 7th, 2016 6:28pm
Depression goes beyond a simple mood or feeling. An individual suffering of major depression does not think objectively anymore, and is ruled by negative thoughts. I suffer of Major Depression myself and sometimes i feel like apologizing to the trees for the waste of oxygen my existence brings. Do I have a reason i think so? Not a legit one for anyone else but me. For short, I see myself beyond just valueless. I am a liability and a burden. So how dare i be such a thing to the ones who love me? Someone suffering of depression will begin to think that pushing the ones they love away, is doing them a favour because who would want to be around someone depressed? At least its the pattern we depressed people seem to adopt. It is hard to be told otherwise, but the best thing you can do is to not let them go no matter how hard we struggle. Because we need to eventually be reminded of our own value.
Anonymous
November 4th, 2019 3:34pm
Sometimes you feel like your heavy feelings will be a burden on other people, especially when they're struggling with their own stresses and challenges. Sometimes it's hard to put into words exactly what you're feeling without judging your thoughts, that they're just excuses, that people won't understand, that I can get through it on my own. Sometimes I didn't value myself enough to see that people did care, that people DO care, that it's ok to be vulnerable. That it's ok to be open. And today I struggle with that. Knowing my partner needs my support as he deals with struggles in his family, with his health, and with me. I know what I need to do, but at times I don't matter enough to do it - my family needs to be the priority, not me. And it's hard. Because I do matter. Because I need to look after me, too. And I can't look after them if I'm not looking after me.
Nithou
December 30th, 2015 12:31pm
Depression provokes a lot of self-depreciation, you tend to think that you are not worthy of the help of your loved ones, that you're not interesting enough, that you might bother people, ... It's hard to understand for your loved ones as they deeply care for you, but sometimes you have to insist to be there for the depressed people, as all they require is a friendly being near them, ready to listen to them and understand them :)
PoliteOcean
September 4th, 2015 8:34pm
Its hard to feel depression. Its a very difficult thing to feel and to go through. Lots of times people who are suffering feel that nobody will understand what they are going through and may feel its easier to just deal with their feelings alone or in secret. The best thing you can do is to be there and lend support if you know someone who suffers or if you are the one suffering perhaps seeking professional healthcare advice through a provider, a counselor or therapist can help.
Anonymous
January 21st, 2016 6:49am
Personally, I feel that at times they don't want my company. I feel disconnected and alienated even if they love me or care for me so I push them away. Other times I feel like they don't love me, that it's all an act. Thus, in order to understand and connect with a person with depression, it's important to establish that you indeed care about them and be there for them and not push too hard.
ughhitshaley
January 21st, 2016 8:06am
THey push them away because they feel worthless and hopless like they are not good enough to be around them or interact with them.
Anonymous
January 22nd, 2016 5:30pm
they might need time to figure out and assess their situation/life. they also might feel as if they can't trust anyone. this is why talking to them is very important.
Sunnyears123
January 23rd, 2016 4:28pm
They're scared. They are afraid that people will hurt them, so they push them away before they get hurt
Penny12
January 27th, 2016 5:08pm
Sometimes people with depression feel like they're bringing the people around them down too. Or sometimes they don't want to talk to anyone because they're afraid their loved ones will notice the change in them and they're not ready to talk about it. Other times the condition itself drives sufferers into isolation when they don't have the motivation to go out. In my experience it's predominantly that people have to put on a brave face around loved ones and they just can't pretend everything's alright anymore.
violetskies
January 27th, 2016 9:10pm
im so sorry to quote the perks of being a wallflower but " we accept the love we think we deserve", that or they dont feel like being around people and are irritable
TillyT
January 31st, 2016 11:52am
I believe that depression can dramatically lower our self esteem and confidence. As a result it can make someone feel worthless and a burden to those around them. In these moment its always good to flip the situation...if someone you loved was hurting would you consider them a burden?
kittenkaii
February 3rd, 2016 1:29am
when someone is depressed falling into a slump happens and you feel the need to push everyone away because either you just don't care or don't want the ones you care for to see you like that.
Anonymous
September 19th, 2015 3:40pm
Depressed people push loved ones away because they are sad and hate people and life. :) :( :) :( hi!
courageouslove19
December 19th, 2015 7:10am
being depressed makes your mind think of negative things and kinda makes it paranoid, so anytime someone tries to comfort you or be there for you, your mind tricks you into thinking that they actually don't care and that it is possible that they are doing this to hurt you. it's really hard to trust someone when you have depression, they still need support and warmth, and a shoulder to rely on
Anonymous
December 16th, 2015 9:28am
From personal experiences, the depressed often push others away in fear of being hurt by them. They don't want to be hurting anymore than they already are.
Syidren
March 19th, 2016 5:45am
For some, at a certain point, its almost like an addiction. There is an odd distorted view that the pain from the depression is comfortable and safe, in the idea you know what to expect and it isn't a rollercoaster of high's and lows' . . its just one straight low. . .
Anonymous
October 28th, 2015 12:31am
They push people away because they are on a self destruct mode and would rather know they pushed the person away then the person leaving them
ItsAlwaysWorseThanItSeems
October 25th, 2015 2:26am
A lot of people are scared of hurting their loved ones by telling them the truth. Maybe they won't think of them the same way. It's sad that some people think that, but true loved ones will always love you no matter what you say. That's what makes them so special.
Anonymous
June 10th, 2016 4:54pm
I think they do it because they are too scared of their dear one's reaction , or feel that they might be a burden to them I know some people who prefer getting help from a total stranger than from the one they love
Anonymous
March 22nd, 2016 4:25pm
because when they are not able to find light out of the darkness they start thinking their loved ones as enemy and that is where the worst begins...........
charmingHeart
September 30th, 2015 11:34am
because, he/she won't his/her beloved get hurt. He/She try to protect her/his beloved, even she/he need a help to heal from his/her depressed
Anonymous
November 11th, 2015 4:55am
We don't feel like we deserve love. Sometimes we feel as if our problems are too much and/or a burden to our loved ones so we push them away, "If you love something set it free".