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Why do depressed people push loved ones away?

370 Answers
Last Updated: 11/10/2020 at 12:52pm
Why do depressed people push loved ones away?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Zeina Ghoul, LLPC

Pre-Licensed Professional

I help guide clients to create positive change in a non-judgmental and supportive atmosphere.

Top Rated Answers
November 15th, 2015 4:07am
Sometimes people suffering from depression feel their family or friends can't understand them or try to protect them from "blaming themselves". As a result it can mean that, instead of engaging with those they love most, people end up pushing them away. If they feel ready, talking to someone impartial can help as they don't feel they have to explain or justify themselves
November 18th, 2015 4:03pm
Depressed people tend to push loved one away because we're afraid of hurting the ones who we loved, as this is what i experienced before. I used to think that the people who i loved did not understand me. So this caused me to think that my problems will burden them. However it's not what i had in mind, the people who truly love me will not mind me to share my problem with them and solve it together.
November 22nd, 2015 11:36am
because sometimes people like they need to be alone with their thoughts so they forget about the depression but that is even worse. they tend to think that they will hurt someone close and they are afraid of being a failure. the loved ones should be there for this person and never let them down. one day everything would be okay again.
November 25th, 2015 6:19am
Because when dogs go to die, they just go off into the woods never to be seen again. Depression can feel as if you are going to die.
November 26th, 2015 9:40pm
i have depression and i do this alot, itsbecause we dont want to hurt you, we dont want you to know what is inside out heads as its not pleasant, and if you only knew some of the thoughts you would get hurt, and they would blame themselves if they saw you like that and it would make them worse, they know that you are there for them but its horrible emotional pain they dont want you to have, so they think they are protectingyou by pushing you away
December 5th, 2015 9:22pm
They feel as though they are not good for them, as if they will hurt them by being near them. They don't want them to see them as weak or to see them fall apart.
December 12th, 2015 6:27pm
Because depressed people think that they want to be alone. They want that everybody is happy and they feel like they are charging somebody with their problems
December 16th, 2015 1:41am
Because they don't want their loved ones to carry their burden, like they must. They care for others, but not for themselves.
December 16th, 2015 9:28am
From personal experiences, the depressed often push others away in fear of being hurt by them. They don't want to be hurting anymore than they already are.
December 16th, 2015 3:05pm
Some because they feel like they may hurt them, others because they dont have the motivation to keep up relations with their loved ones.
December 16th, 2015 7:57pm
They do not push them away. They are just afraid of sharing what they feel, because they think others won't understand them.
December 17th, 2015 12:26am
They don't mean to push people away so if they do that please don't take it to heart because depression is a serious medical illness. They push people away because they feel as if they are a burden, or feel as if everyone is better off without them. Their moods are everywhere so they may come off as mean even if they aren't meaning to.
December 17th, 2015 9:17am
It's like being stuck in a black gooey tar. You don't want others to get close to you for the fear of pulling them in with you.
December 17th, 2015 4:19pm
Depressed people tend to push away loved ones because they feel that they'll hurt their loved ones so they feel its better to keep them away
December 17th, 2015 10:47pm
Its the process of social withdrawal, depressed people find it difficult to express and even feel any emotions bar sadness, guilt and anger. They are essentially emotionally numbed and thus it becomes difficult for a depressed individual to converse with a non depressed individual on any real level. It is particularly hard if that person is a loved one as it puts pressure on them to act 'normally' and they tend to feel like they are letting the loved one down or failing them.
December 20th, 2015 1:08am
They push all people away, they want to be alone. they know that people can help them but they want to be alone until someone doesnt care about that and helps the depressed person
December 20th, 2015 1:45am
Sometimes when people are depressed, they feel as though they need to get their own lives in shape before they invite anyone else in. In addition, they may feel as though they are toxic to the people they are close to. Kind of like a grenade, I suppose. Depressed people may feel as though they are a gray cloud hovering around people and covering their sunshine. It is important to let depressed people know that they are loved and appreciated. Even the smallest thing, like a smile, can add a little ray of light to their gloomy day.
December 24th, 2015 3:36am
People that are depressed tend to push loved ones away for reason like they are scared that they are going to get judged or that their family or friends wont help or will try to send them to a therapist and that may be just what they need.
December 26th, 2015 8:11am
They are depressed and when I'm depressed I dnt have much energy to push myself of bed and connecting to loved ones is a task I cnt put so much energy on anyone ..If they are caring enough they would know but I still end up thinking I'm just gonna end up venting..and I kn they are gonna judge me and treat me like a whip. .sometimes I feel it's better to fight alone thn to let someone else and make it worst ...Most of the time it hard to decide who is real and who is fake and with depression it's not easy to understand what is reality and what is illusion. ..
December 26th, 2015 3:47pm
Sometimes it feels like it'd be easier to deal with that state of mind alone (Although this is not true). I personally felt like a burden to those around me, I didn't tell anyone about my depression and just isolated myself until my friends stopped calling.
December 27th, 2015 2:20am
Many depressed people feel as if others, especially loved ones, would be better off without them. They don't want to burden others with their issues, so they keep them to themselves and don't allow others to participate in them.
December 27th, 2015 10:12pm
They often feel like they are worthless, or they may not want to bring them down with them. They need isolation.
December 30th, 2015 12:31pm
Depression provokes a lot of self-depreciation, you tend to think that you are not worthy of the help of your loved ones, that you're not interesting enough, that you might bother people, ... It's hard to understand for your loved ones as they deeply care for you, but sometimes you have to insist to be there for the depressed people, as all they require is a friendly being near them, ready to listen to them and understand them :)
December 30th, 2015 8:45pm
People who are depressed sometimes don't feel worthy of affection and love or they just do not have the energy for human interactions and don't want to disappoint, make life easier for others by cutting themselves out. That is an all or nothing kind of thinking, that also is taking away the possibility for loved ones to choose for themselves who are worthy of their time. Often people think that by cutting themselves off they make life of their loved ones easier. This is not the case, because often the loved ones worry. Also it can hinder healing for the depressed person, since they are cutting themselves off important ressources to be able to heal/get better.
December 31st, 2015 3:24am
Depressed people normally push away loved ones because they want to be alone in their suffering and don't want to hurt anyone else
December 31st, 2015 5:30am
They put walls up because they don't want to be hurt again. Especially by loved ones.
December 31st, 2015 12:37pm
Many people feel that the reason they're depressed is their own fault even though it's not. And they tend to feel like no one will understand or be able to help.
December 31st, 2015 8:33pm
They don't want to hurt there family. They feel that if they push them away then the family member won't be hurt.
December 31st, 2015 11:07pm
they are afraid of getting their heart broken again the fear of it happening just overcomes you and it takes over
January 1st, 2016 4:28pm
Because they are sad,they are so deeply sad. They can't find joy in anything.And it hurts. it hurts so much inside you can't think about anything else. and you just want to talk about it. and talk and talk and talk and talk, and they are afraid they will be annoying... and they are afraid their loved ones will push them away first... Sometimes though depressed people don't wanna do anything. they don't wanna talk. They want to be consumed by their sadness. because that's how they know to be... and not everyone can understand that.