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Why do I always think everything I do is wrong?

211 Answers
Last Updated: 04/29/2022 at 8:57pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Polly Letsch, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.

Top Rated Answers
HappyCycologist
November 24th, 2018 9:12am
maybe it depends on your socialisation and parents influence on your expectations of yourself. if you are very severe with yourself and evaluate to much, then it could happen your inner thoughts tell you: " you fullfill not your goals". the words "always" and "everything" are not very usefull to describe your behavior. better looking for conrete actions or positive exceptions. there is also a kindful advise to learn from your mistakes. dont be ashamed to make some, it is naturally -especially if you are brave enough to leave your comfort zone and risk something. so dont look to strict on your actions:)
Anonymous
November 29th, 2018 10:42am
In my experience, people think that way because they see that others are doing it better than they are or when someone comments on their work and they take that negatively. It can also be because the individual has low self-esteem, so even the smallest flaw in their work can make them feel like a failure, as they already are inclined towards that way of thinking. One way to improve this is to STOP comparing and focusing on improving yourself by taking small steps. Another way is to take criticism and feedback positively and see it as an opportunity to grow, which will allow you to improve your work, which in turn will improve your work and make you feel better about it :)
whoisabree13
December 26th, 2018 8:56am
You always feel as if you're wrong because of that little voice in the back of your head making you feel that way. That little voice isn't factual and doesn't, at all, reflect your worth and value. In this world, you will find things you are a natural at and things that you may need to do more than once before you can be decent at it. Don't ever allow outside opinions to ever construct your worth, your work and your struggle as wrong. We all have different reasons and motions, just remember that you're doing the very best that you can and that's more than good enough.
Anonymous
January 5th, 2019 6:08pm
I'd say, that it is usually because you are used to others telling you you did something wrong and/or nobody/very rarley someone told you they were proud, that you did something good. So you might not even realize, that it actually was good, because nobody said it. It could also be because you were manipulated by someone in the past. Manipualtion is a very big topic and to make it short for this answer, the manipulator made you feel like you did something wrong, for a reason you don't know, but it definitely brings them good if you think that (for example they might be trying to convince you to stay with them, because you need them, when the truth is, you don't, you might be even better than they are). When you become a victim of a good manipulator (it will be hard to recognize them, especially at first, and it's hard to leave them, as it is often too late when we realize the truth), it can leave huge consequences on you forever.
Rebeccapersoncentred
January 11th, 2019 2:01pm
I would like to start by saying I am sorry you feel this way about yourself. It is not your fault and it can change if you want it to. This change will likely be challenging and it will require some work and some time. A lot of how we feel about ourselves comes from the way we were treated when we were younger, children look to adults to tell them if they are good or not as children have not learnt how to do that for themselves yet. If the adult is telling the child you are wrong and this happens over and over we learn that we are wrong and unacceptable in some way. We carry this to adulthood as it seems correct. Actually usually that adult was wrong for not taking the time to teach the child and for not being accepting. We often learn by making mistakes. Try to be kind to yourself, reflect on this and see if it true, can you then show yourself some kindness and allow yourself to be right? I know that is hard but it's unlikely you are wrong all of the time.
Anonymous
February 24th, 2019 12:29am
I don't know about you, but I personally feel like everything I do is wrong because of my self doubt stemming from knowing perception is flawed. I constantly tell myself that "this could be wrong," "you don't know what you are doing," "you only think you know," etc. I personally have not been able to get rid of these thoughts at all, but I hear meditation can help some people get their thoughts in order. If closing your eyes does not work for you personally, some people stare at a fire to clear their heads, and then go through their thoughts and see if they are actually rational. Hopefully you find what works for you.
GiedreSi
February 24th, 2019 1:03pm
You are probably a perfectionist, who has very high standards for oneself and one's achievements. For a stereotypical perfectionist, perfection is the goal in everything they do and who they are, and they often have the same expectations of perfection for other people and external circumstances. Except, perfection does not exist in real life, thus they are left with the chronic feelings of disappointment in oneself and the world around them. Chances are, everything you do is not wrong, and if you asked other people, they may say that what you do is good or even excellent. The problem is, of course, that nothing you do is entirely perfect, and it can never be. We are humans, and we make mistakes, and even when we do things right, it will never be perfect. You must realize that what you are thinking or feeling may not always be accurate or true, and that your perfectionism bias makes you only focus on the mistakes, rather than your achievements. Try to seep your thoughts through a filter once in a while, and contrast them with objective reality. "Did I really do poorly or is it just a thought I am having? Am I trying to achieve unrealistic goals? Do I have unrealistic expectations for this situation? What are the objective evidence to support or reject my thought as resembling the truth?". Don't take your thoughts for granted, check them!
Anonymous
April 11th, 2019 11:05pm
You’re overthinking, a lot of people do that. But it’s also a symptom of anxiety, so it’s better to see if you have anxiety while it can be easily taken care of. But with the over thinking, when you feel like you keep going back to something you did wrong and yelling at you’re self from it. Take a deep breath, though that may not seem easy it truly is not that hard. Sometimes you just have to be able to clear you’re mind to be able to let go of the stuff that’s holding you back. That’s keeping you from focusing. What you’re doing isn’t wrong, yes you could have made a mistake. But that’s not that big of a deal, want to know why. You’re human nobody’s perfect but you can get better, by simply learning from you’re mistakes.
Anonymous
April 26th, 2019 5:15pm
You may have been accused of being bad at something countless times. Sometimes, people tend to take it to heart and let themselves down which is what is happening to you. It's completely normal if you have been let down multiple times in the past; especially if you care about them. Stress, anxiety, lack of sleep and too much screen time can also be some causes leading to these trail of thoughts. Why? It's because our minds and bodies function best when we have enough sleep. Lack of sleep is basically the base. If you get enough sleep, stress and anxiety levels are reduced and you feel better about yourself. We tend to rely on our devices a lot more than we should which makes us stay up at night and lose sleep. These are thoughts you may have due to the reasons stated above.
Anonymous
May 30th, 2019 6:27pm
Being a devout Christian, I can relate this very easily. It’s so easy for me to feel like everything I do is a sin, and that God is mad at me and doesn’t want to talk to me. But the truth is, life is life. In life, you make mistakes. You’re human. You’re not perfect. No one is. And that’s okay. It’s honestly part of what makes life so beautiful. Because think about it, without mistakes we wouldn’t have mercy; without tears we wouldn’t have compassion; without pain we wouldn’t have healing. Life is a beautiful gift, and there’s nothing wrong with enjoying its increíble offers.
NathalieA
August 23rd, 2019 1:28pm
Because I was raised to be perfect and fulfill all expectations of me. Nobody ever told me that doing my best could be good enough. Or that I had inherent worth beyond what I could accomplish, beyond being the best. Nobody ever taught me I am good enough, as I am, or that being kind and gentle is worth as much as being assertive and dominant. I think everything I do is wrong because I am not looking inside for what is right. If we search for only what is wrong, we'll never see what's so perfectly right. And we miss out on the full picture of who we are.
Anonymous
September 4th, 2019 8:02pm
There can be a few contributors, though I believe the biggest one would be low self-esteem. If you don't think positively of yourself, it can reflect in your head as not being good enough for something. The human brain is a finicky thing, and can often be our worst enemy and a relentless bully. There are also many mental illnesses that can cause those kinds of feelings, so it is a case-by-case basis, but low self-esteem is very often a large contributor and goes hand in hand with mental illness. Taking the appropriate steps and working towards improving how you view yourself as a whole person may be able to help ease those feelings.
Anonymous
September 7th, 2019 7:28pm
I believe this is down to a negative outlook on yourself and perhaps even life going on around you. It can make it worse if others tell you that you're doing something wrong as well. Focus on everything you do right, above anything you may do wrong, even if its as simple as you got up and got yourself ready on time, you remembered to take out the trash, every wrong can be made right with a little dedication. You just need to take a different outlook on the world going on around you and with a little practice, you'll be just fine.
PeacefulDreamer1217
September 14th, 2019 9:33am
Because I tend to fail at a lot of things. I am very hard on myself, and I feel like I am not good enough. Everyone judges me and makes me feel worthless. I feel alone most of the time and that in turn makes me feel like I am always wrong. I need to try and focus more on self love and self acceptance. I put myself down too much when I should be trying to lift myself up. With no support whatsoever, i just feel so alone and like I dont mean anything. I feel like nothing. I feel numb.
ElephantTiger1
November 8th, 2019 7:56am
Hi, I am sorry that you are feeling so down on yourself :( I know that must be very difficult and deflating. The majority of the time when we blame ourselves or see what we do as wrong it is because of something internal, perhaps a trauma or a way we have been conditioned to view ourselves that disrupts the way we perceive our lives and ourselves. That be said though, it doesn't mean that you are stuck in this place where you feel like everything you do is wrong. The most rewarding thing would be perhaps talking with someone about it, friends, family, a therapist, or even someone here on 7Cups. Don't be afraid to reach out and have a chat about why you feel this way and maybe we can get to the root of the problem. I am here for you anytime that you need. Best of luck
WinterivyButterfly
November 20th, 2019 12:29am
I often struggled in school, and at extracurricular, and at relationships. Life feels tricky when you can't find something right away that you feel passionate about and others around you have found their passions. I realized it's not about doing everything right, it's about taking little steps. I took walks, looked at nature, took photos of trees and nature and surrounded myself with my passions. When you find things that make you happy, others’ skills and ways are less important. My life became no longer striving to win medals and get perfect scores, but find what made me happy. And that is what right is, to me.
Anonymous
December 7th, 2019 8:19am
I always thought every step I took, every decision I made, every dream I dreamt about my future was wrong and I was a failure only because I never knew my own strength. Everyone at some point of time need someone else who listens to them, point out their strengths and give them hope when they feel they are lonely. Its really important to have people in our lives but people who are trust worthy, who are capable of understanding us are the real thing in need for anyone who is trying to come up by themselves. A helping hand is the major requirement as each and everyone have their own strengths which should be brought out.
alexsevenrings
December 13th, 2019 1:37pm
because you are not sure about your possibilities. even if you are perfect, you always trying to be way better than you really are. it isn't your fault that you think in that way. its because of society. we never know what is right to do exactly... but we still doing because we dont have another choice to do. we need to try and then we will see the results, we never know how right is our moves but we still moving. if we stop, nothings will be go right... i suggest you to keep moving and do whatever you want, even if you think its wrong... you think in that way because people or things what is happening around you makes you to think like that. but if you dont pay attetion on your around and people, you will make choices without thinking of their rightness.
Nemo231
December 18th, 2019 5:37am
When a person looks at their life they instinctively perceive the world around them through a variety of lenses that are based on their experiences, moral systems, ideologies etc. One such lens of perception centers around the perception a person has of themselves. If that lens is negative you will immediately consider anything that you might do in a negatively light, with suspicion, or maybe just not "good enough" whatever that mean for the person. If you want to know why you think everything you do is wrong be honest with how you look at yourself. Do you believe you are incompetent and worthless? If you do then naturally you will believe that everything you do cannot possibly be done right because you think you are incapable of doing things correctly. There are other possibilities however, maybe its just you have extreme and unrealistic expectations of yourself. Perfectionism is hardly an unusual condition and it is almost never a good thing as it stresses a person to achieve a position that they cannot reach which is demoralizing in the most poignant sense of the word. Or perhaps someone else is telling you something is not good enough and you have no one to tell you when you do things correctly. If that is true then how could you know when you were doing things well? You'd naturally assume that nothing you did was ever good enough. And if that is the situation then that is tragic. These are a few of the possibilities and they are not necessarily mutually exclusive but they are some of the reasons you may think everything you do is wrong.
Anonymous
January 2nd, 2020 7:05am
Not everything you do is wrong. Get rid of the negatives, stay positive. Sometimes I get the same feeling, you are not alone out other. To stay happy you should get the negativity out of your mind. You should believe in yourself. Not everything you do is wrong, you have failed to see the right in that.
CalculatedDoom
January 19th, 2020 8:35pm
Humans are very confusing and complex creatures, and so when we do small things we convince ourselves that maybe we could have done better, or maybe we made ourselves look silly. Though in your mind, you truly believe everything you do, you mess up or do it wrong, the truth is that nobody but you is thinking that. your anxieties and fears make you believe things that aren’t actually as bad as they seem! For example, maybe when you were ordering food you stuttered and slurred, and after you beat yourself up about it, but in reality the cashieer has seen much worse things! by the next day, they wouldn’t even remember the simple exchange. Anxiety likes to magnify simple mistakes and make them seem so much worse than they actually are. In conclusion, you’re not as bad as you think. stay safe!
Sniffles0188
February 12th, 2020 2:41pm
Negative mindset! The the term 'everything' needs to be challenged and applied to reality. We all make wrong decisions and experience negative events however it is important to avoid self-blame and generalise the idea of wrongness to everything we do :) It is important to focus on the positives rather than the negatives - the more often we focus on what is wrong, the more likely we are going to ignore the rights. Furthermore the term 'wrong' can be challenged in a way that we all have our own interpretations of what is and what isn't. Overall - do not beat yourself down over any negative experiences. A change in perspective is key - not 'everything' we do is wrong and not everyone interprets 'wrong' the same way. Focus on the positives! We need to accept failures and find the motivation to pick ourselves back up and carry on :)
Anonymous
February 20th, 2020 1:47am
That is a great question. I thank you for the opportunity to try my best to answer it. Sometimes our mind plays tricks on us. It makes us think we are doing everything wrong,when we are doing things right. You maybe asking your self,why does the mind do that? Well the mind is very hard to figure out at times. But hopefully with people who do studies on the brain,will come up with better ways of,why people think the way they do,and help us better to understand the mind and the brain better,and hopefully we will be better off for it in the long run. I hope this helps.
bellarina74
February 23rd, 2020 1:28am
Having no belief in yourself and your abilities leads to uncertainty in many aspects of your life. The uncertainty seems to have a flow in effect that becomes apparent in many daily living activities you try to achieve. Being able to acknowledge and remedy any situation as soon as you are aware of an issue is important. Sometimes issues are not always apparent and we need to trust those around us with any information or guidance they may have to help us move forward. Some times you feel like you aren’t moving forward and allowing others to help us forward is important in our journey.
Anonymous
May 16th, 2020 4:17am
Its easy to think of wrong things because as humans, we tend to take note and be more critical. This is where self praise can come in handy. Evolutionarily, we learn by trial and error. Unfortunately it can be too easy to get stuck on errors. Everybody would benefit from taking note of the good that one does as an individual. Getting over the slump of negative thought concentration can be tough but if you can disclipline youtself to reframe your thinking structure, you will feel foolish for only concentrating on the negative in the past. The future is full of oppurtunities for growth and development, you cant have either without learning from past mistakes.
Anonymous
May 21st, 2020 2:24am
Actions and decisions are meant to be right and wrong, but at the end of the day, they're the ones that should come from your heart. Sometimes the actions and decisions we make seem right or even wrong, but at the end of the day, it's not always about the outcome, but the process. In our journey through life, we will come across many actions and decisions to make, and sometimes they can be the best ones or even the worst ones, but it's about how you learn from them. There are people who will support you through your decisions and some won't, and each moment in your life is for a reason, good and bad. It's just the doubts and fears that come with those deeds. In our minds, we seem to envision the outcome of our actions and how we will feel about it, but really, the outcome can come to be the opposite of what we think. It's just our thoughts overcoming the chance for happiness and confidence in those decisions. Eventually you will find things that turn out right with people there to support you, and that's one of the most beautiful moments in life, and sometimes even the ones that feel wrong can lead up to that too, it's all for a reason and purpose.
CountlessWishesL
June 24th, 2020 11:21pm
This may be from several reasons. More information or reflection may be needed from you. It could be your upbringing or the way your parents/caregivers/family treated you. Were you bullied or ridiculed? Do you find yourself being more anxious over certain activities or things that you do? Are you very sensitive to criticism, a harsh inner voice, or do you have low self-esteem? It’s hard to come to a conclusion here or give the help that you may need. You may be experiencing a form of anxiety, like social anxiety if you are preoccupied with thoughts like these around others, but I am not sure. More information is needed.
missglitterati
August 8th, 2020 7:25pm
In this high pressured society, we are conditioned to think that perfection is the standard. Whether it's in how we interact with others, the grades we score on arbitrary tests, or the career options we want for ourselves, there is always this looming notion in society that we could do better and more to reach perfection. The issue is that perfection does not exist, and so all too many people are spending their lives chasing a standard which is simply unattainable. Thinking that everything that you do is wrong is a product of a culture which praises unnatural flawlessness over happiness, personal growth, and self-respect.
Anonymous
August 9th, 2020 12:36pm
The reason for this could be that your parents or people you know would have been very critical of every work that you have done. This often results in low self-esteem. You are not the reason for it. The good news is that you can build up your self-esteem. There are various self-help activities and tips on how to improve your self-esteem. Overall, you need to believe in yourself and appreciate what you have done. You can try guided self-appraisal meditation. These things would take time and everyone has their own pace. You can chat about with our listeners or go for professional help.
SchrodingersCat00
August 16th, 2020 2:58pm
Some of us are raised with value systems set up to tear us down. I think that often our parents don't even realize they are doing it, but it helps to keep us weaker and more pliable, easier to control. To deal with it, I have told myself that criticizing myself everywhere makes me a better person, because if I criticize myself, maybe I'll become a better person. As I've grown away from my parents, I've realized that hurting myself doesn't help anyone, especially not me. It's taken years of concentrated effort, but I'm learning to congratulate myself more and be willing to feel pride in myself. This is what is actually beneficial to others, as a more positive attitude is more positive for the whole world. But it also makes me happier, and I deserve happiness as much as anyone, as we are all equal.