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Why do I feel like a failure?

93 Answers
Last Updated: 11/12/2019 at 12:37am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Courtney Cline, MS in Psychology and MS in criminal Justice

Counselor

I have 15 years exeperience in working with clients suffering from depression and substance abuse. I have worked with children and adults and believe in a holistic view.

Top Rated Answers
courageousHand17
March 4th, 2016 6:02am
We all go through tough times and sometimes we can form harsh perspectives of ourselves, especially if we suffer from some sort of mental illness. This seems like something you could benefit from talking to someone with in order to express your feelings. Please feel free to reach out to a listener! :)
animalLove75
March 4th, 2016 1:29pm
Everyone has something they're not good at. Focus on what you're good at and what you love doing and don't give up.
bigDreamer94
March 4th, 2016 7:10pm
Instead of focusing on negative there must be some positive. Even a little hope can go along way. I know this from personal experience . it's hard and takes time
Hope114
March 5th, 2016 2:27pm
This is your way to tell yourself I can do much better and I will . Go on life is long path don't waste time in negative thoughts YOU CAN trust yourself and Start over.
Anonymous
March 6th, 2016 2:47am
In my experience, this feeling comes from not feeling like we've lived up to our expectations of those around us. Try to surround yourself with people who are positive and will help you succeed at every turn!
Anonymous
March 9th, 2016 1:36am
Why do I feel like a failure? well people feel like failures because of different things. I for one, feel like a failure, if i have a chat with a member and i fail to make them feel good. In other words, when we fail one thing, we feel like a total failure.
Anonymous
March 9th, 2016 6:38am
You need to have more confidence in yourself. You need to tell yourself that if try, you'll be successful.
Anonymous
March 10th, 2016 4:25pm
Because you focus on the bad side. You're not noticing the accomplishment you've done. The only thing you notice is your mistakes, but can't you see, your mistakes are just stepping stones to be better?
Anonymous
March 10th, 2016 5:19pm
Many reasons. But i can assure you your not, just keep trying your best. I have faith in you. You are not a failure
Anonymous
March 12th, 2016 2:23am
People naturally feel like a failure because of some reason that lead them there like they can't succeed or do to there best and compare others that other people does things easy and simple then they have too which is not true because everyone is just showing their own unique talents.
zaix
March 13th, 2016 3:12pm
because that is how you view yourself when that isn't what you are, theres ways that you can overcome this feeling and move on with life though, contact someone on 7 cups.!
Anonymous
March 16th, 2016 7:19am
Feeling like a failure , accompanies guilt most of times ..A person might feel like a failure after a disappointing incident at any field of their lives , school , job , parenting , leading...etc These are obvious reasons to feel like a failure . Sometimes , mental illnesses can be a very productive factor of this feeling , like -Depression disorders ,anxiety disorders..etc , where they feel like they are futile and of no use and a failure to the world.
speciallight94
March 18th, 2016 7:36pm
People feel this way only when they don't get what they want.But mark my words, there is nothing like failure.Its a life where we came to learn how to live so don't worry, if you don't get anything that you want then it means you are going to achieve something better than that. And failure is just a way to make us find other ways of doing a task or for achieving our goal.
SleepyCarrot
March 18th, 2016 10:53pm
Sometimes things don't work out as we expect. This can lead us to think that we are a failure however that doesn't mean that we are actually one.
TheGavin
March 20th, 2016 10:18pm
Maybe your not a failure. Maybe you just think you can always do better. which is good ;) you can never go wrong with that
RedRose82
March 23rd, 2016 12:13pm
Sometimes when you look at others you think you should be doing as well as them or better, but they aren't you and they have their own circumstances. You are not a failure, you will succeed as long as you work hard towards your goal. What others tell you is irrelevant, just do your best.
Steppenoak22
March 27th, 2016 2:02am
Well i think this is quite an important question, in the modern world we have a cultural system where the view of failure and succes is quite aimed at consumism, so basically if you have a lot of many and lots of hot girls around you are a succes, if not you are a nobody. That of course brings a lot of problems the our society has. To me the real succes or failure shouldn't depend in society's definition of it, it should depend on what goal you have in life and how close or far you are to accomplishing it, also this goal has to be as realistic as possible, that doesn't mean that it has to be easy, but i wouldn't reccomend to wish something that's impossible to get, that will only lead to frustration. So basically it's about knowing yourself and your capabilites, and also your weaknesses.
Anonymous
March 30th, 2016 3:48pm
There is no right answer for it. Maybe you feel like you haven't achieved enough? Set up a plan and start working on your goals!
Anonymous
March 30th, 2016 10:40pm
You might be setting standards that are extremely high and unrealistic for yourself and expecting to reach them without any mistakes, or too much hard work (because it should be easy, shouldn't it?) It's not easy, and you'll make mistakes. You're very human. You're not a failure. The things you've done in the past don't matter anymore, no matter how much they've affected your current life. The things in your future are unpredictable, unknown. Don't be too harsh on yourself.
Anonymous
March 31st, 2016 11:45pm
It's all because of low self-esteem. Stop thinking this way and just try to be positive. Everybody is awesome if they unleash their awesomeness.
Sollas
April 15th, 2016 5:49pm
Somtimes we put too much pressure on ourselves. Have a think back and see all the positived in your life. Think about where you want to be and make a realistic plan of getting there.
erenflowers
April 16th, 2016 4:09am
We are often the hardest on ourselves, not others. We usually try to push ourselves to the limits, and when we actually find we do have them (we are human, after all) it's rather frustrating. Take it easy. Nobody is perfect, we all do the best we can. Try, try again, as cliche as it is.
peacefulIris56
April 20th, 2016 2:17pm
You feel like a failure because of the combination of having failed in the past, current depression and low self-esteem.
Anonymous
May 10th, 2016 8:45pm
You belive you are a failure so then you grow to feel like you are even though your not. Your not a failure it's all in your head
Anonymous
June 7th, 2016 1:49pm
You tell me why do you think you're a failure you're a part of this world that makes a difference you're not a failure look at why you have ever achieved in life
AkiHitori
June 20th, 2016 5:06pm
It feels terrible right after it has happened, but it will get better. Don't beat yourself up about it too much. Failure happens to everyone.
GoatyGirl
August 9th, 2016 9:12pm
Everyone puts themselves down and often see themselves lower than others. You shouldn't think you are the best at everything but you should notice your achievements
idunnowatname
January 30th, 2017 7:27am
Maybe you are putting too much pressure on yourself. We tend to attribute our sense of self-worth to external factors like success in work and relationships. But life isn't easy and there will be hard times and failures. They happen for various reasons and not necessarily because of you and your performance alone. But what matters is how we all can learn from failures and start again.
maybe2morrow
February 13th, 2017 12:12am
Because you see it as a lost cause instead of an opportunity for much more. It is often through failure that we become wiser, and stronger.
Anonymous
June 25th, 2017 2:56am
I feel like a failure because I have disappointed the people around me, while I also constantly lied to the people that are not around me. They tried to guide me, and they tried to cheer me on. But my priorities were a mess. I was denying the mess, too, to myself and to those who can't see my situation. I feel like a failure because by now, now that I'm realizing where I went wrong, I have a strong feeling that it's too late. They have given up on me. I feel like a failure because I don't know if I can ever change their mind. I feel like a failure because I did not tell the people who trust me what I'm going through, I did not ask for their help. I feel like a failure because I let something slip away from my hands.