Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Why do I feel so unappreciated?

210 Answers
Last Updated: 07/18/2020 at 3:18am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Dorothy Paige, MS Psychology

Licensed Professional Counselor

I believe that any issue that prevents one from living life to the fullest or prevents self love is defeating. I am committed to providing support to anyone who seeks help.

Top Rated Answers
uniquecreature41
November 18th, 2016 8:03pm
Perhaps because you are. If you're feeling like nobody recognises you for the work and effort you make then maybe you currently have a selection of people in your life that simply don't or won't appreciate you. If this is the case, it's time to start putting yourself first more often than you do. Don't be so available to everyone, withdraw some of that effort you make all the time. Start being selective; do what you can and not what you don't have to do. Make more time for yourself if possible. Where that isn't possible, treat yourself to something. Where that isn't feasible, start appreciating yourself. Don't work yourself into the ground for others; the term, 'what did your last slave die of' isn't in the lexicon for nothing! Ask yourself if you're spreading yourself too thin or doing more than you should for people who are taking advantage. People will start sitting up and paying attention of you start to take a step back. Nothing works more effectively than that. And it doesn't hurt for people to get a wake up call now and then and realise that you are not a doormat.
CaringJoy
December 9th, 2015 2:08pm
People who generally feel so unappreciated have high expectations for praise and recognition which is sometimes unrealistic.
LabrynthMania
December 11th, 2015 2:43pm
Try to do things for other people, you may feel unappreciated because people have put you down for whatever you have done.
ifeelyouboo
April 22nd, 2016 8:22pm
This could be a sign of depression. You can take an online screening to see if you are. If your score indicates you could be depressed, see a doctor or therapist for help.
Anonymous
March 28th, 2017 3:59am
I've found that people in general tend to take things for granted and only really notice when a person does something that upsets them. This is especially true with people you've known for a long time, unfortunately. They just come to expect good things from you, particularly if you are reliable in your generosity/helpfulness. We have a basic need to receive positive feedback from others, but it is easy to overlook/ignore this need in each other during the course of a day. Life is full of so many things to worry about, and appreciating others usually doesn't get placed at the top of our to-do lists. Do you remember to take the time to acknowledge what you value about other people (the little things and the big ones)? If you let people know what you appreciate about them, they are more likely to reciprocate. Is there more you could be doing for others that would elicit gratitude? Sometimes the simplest of gestures can mean so much to another person -- a smile and a wave to a stranger, a friendly chat with a store cashier, a word of encouragement to someone asking for help online. These are not guaranteed to get a thank you every time, but it increases your odds of receiving one. It is also rewarding to know you have helped brighten someone's day. even if they haven't told you how much they appreciate it.
Anonymous
July 21st, 2018 1:12am
It can be caused by depression that makes you feel like your not good enough or unappreciated or it can be anxiety that holds you back from success by using fear to stop you
Anonymous
December 29th, 2014 9:14pm
People have not been gratifying you the way you wish. It is likely you are doing everything right, despite not feeling appreciated.
EinsteinRc
June 30th, 2015 1:00am
Maybe, you feel unappreciated, 'cause there're a thing that you're doing bad, but don't worry, here in 7 cups, we can found this thing, and make a solution for you.
Anonymous
June 30th, 2015 9:52pm
Perhaps this question would be best addressed towards yourself. Consider why you feel this way. Perhaps ask the individuals that you feel don't appreciate you.
jeni1814
August 9th, 2015 3:03am
For many people feelings of being unappreciated is a cumulative of several other issues. For instance a depressed person doesn't believe their associates would honestly care about their feelings...so if appreciation is offered the depressed person doesn't believe it is sincere.
JillieJillie
November 16th, 2015 8:42am
It is because your morals, thoughts, and ideals are different to others. You are surrounded by people that are not making you smile. As soon as you do that and find people that care the way you do, you will feel more happier. When in doubt, change your environment.
Sky0
December 9th, 2015 12:31am
Here are four things that always help me when I feel this way: 1. Share your success with your friends! 2.Value your work, what you accomplished is good! 3. Work hard, the results are gratifying! 4. When someone appreciates your work, return it!
Gisellelovesyouall
December 10th, 2015 3:17pm
Sometimes, you feel that way because you are not around people who appreciate you and treat you the right way. So go and look for someone who cares about you! :)
holdingspace777
December 11th, 2015 10:57am
We tends to feel unappreciated by others when we do not truly appreciate, accept and love all of ourselves. Or when unconsciously try to get our legit human needs of Security, Connection, Significance or Variety met through others, especially those with different values than ours. If how you feel about yourself is based on someone else's actions or non-actions, there is very little empowerment. It is a skill worth learning to own your feelings and manage them while still being open to receiving others' support and appreciation. Support and appreciate yourself first. xox
PracticalMaple
December 11th, 2015 11:50am
i guess the people around you just aren't showing you much appreciation. It's normal and everyone ends up feeling like this at one point, but you just need to remember that you are appreciated even if others just havent told you yet :)
branka88
December 11th, 2015 7:02pm
Shortness of breath or hyperventilation.Heart palpitations or a racing heart.Chest pain or discomfort.Trembling or shaking.Choking feeling.Feeling unreal or detached from your surroundings.Sweating.Nausea or upset stomach.
Miracle
December 19th, 2015 10:28am
Sometimes those around us take what we do to try and help them for granted, this may happen because they have become accustomed to it or simply forget to thank you. We can feel unappreciated when others fail to communicate verbally their gratitude. I remember as a child feeling resentment at being forced to write thank you letters after my birthday, I had already said thank you and smiled and made the appropriate 'appreciation gestures', yet it was not enough. Having physical reminders of appreciation such as cards can help to sustain a sense of being appreciated longer. I would question, how is it people in your life appreciate your efforts (does it seem like they have gone to a similar effort or not). Is what you are doing worthy of appreciation (it's a difficult question to ask yourself, but sometimes we get too caught up on the physical details, that we forget the human and emotional connection involved in giving). And are you willing to talk this through in a calm and controlled manner with those who you feel hurt you and make you feel unappreciated.
Anonymous
December 20th, 2015 6:28pm
You may feel unappreciated because you may be feeling left out. You should talk to the people you feel unappreciated by.
Azil90
December 20th, 2015 10:08pm
Because you try so hard to make things work, and sometimes we don't get the feedback we were hoping for. It doesn't mean people aren't thankful for our efforts, some things just get lost in translation.
Anonymous
December 9th, 2017 5:26pm
You feel unappreciated because you don't appreciate yourself, appreciate yourself please! You are you and I appreciate you.
Salty
March 1st, 2018 7:22pm
It could be as simple as because you're not. A lot of things these days go unappreciated. We work so hard, and do so much, and rarely do people get the recognition that people need!
courageousOcean27
June 6th, 2018 5:34am
It's very easy to feel unneeded in this world. Especially with so many distractions and people taking things for granted. It sometimes does feel horrible when you're doing a lot of something/someone and it is never recognized. But you have to remember, we shouldn't do these things to be recognized. We should just focus on the fact that we are doing something.
Anonymous
June 27th, 2018 5:47am
The feeling of being unappreciated comes from yourself. You have to start believing in what your capable of then it will be reflected upon your action
Anonymous
September 19th, 2018 8:10pm
That answer is best left up to you to decide. People often feel unappreciated because they aren't getting acknowledged or thanked for the things that they do and often it becomes a cycle. When you do things for other people, they normally appreciate them and forget to say it. So it is probably just a lack of communication from one individual to another, but that never means you aren't doing great things or doing something that is helping other people. Sometimes people don't notice or don't think to say anything. Do things that make you feel good and that you think to improve your life or the life of other and someone is going to appreciate it. Even if you are only helping yourself, you appreciate you.
Dtro18
September 27th, 2018 6:00pm
It sounds like you derive a fair amount of your self worth from those around you. Appreciation that comes from other people is necessary to make you feel validated. Maybe the reason you perform certain actions is to be appreciated for it. Is what you want the intention behind your actions to be? Acclaim? You should perform actions, do services to friends, family, spouses, significant others, because YOU want to. I'm not denying that appreciation is nice. It can be discouraging when we perform large acts of service and they go unnoticed or underappreciated. However, fulfillment from these actions should come from within you. Take pride that you valued a relationship enough to perform such a large task. Recognize that it was not only the want for appreciation that drove you, but your own desire to simply be a good son, daughter, father, husband, wife, etc. When we derive our self worth from ourselves, when we make ourselves the sole authority on how we feel, we experience great emotional growth.
HotChocolate2
June 21st, 2019 4:38am
The reason you feel unappreciated may come from you not appreciating yourself. After all, it’s hard to feel appreciated when you don’t even love yourself! I think self-love, self-care, and self-awareness is very important. A lot of people feel like their insecurities stem from external factors (like how much they’re loved or how much people appreciate them) when actually it’s all internal (i.e. how much they FEEL loved or how much they FEEL appreciated). That means that true feelings of fulfillment and satisfaction can only come from yourself. Don’t be ashamed of giving yourself compliments and pep talks! It does wonders for your mental health.
MissLisa
February 12th, 2020 4:03pm
Sometimes we feel so unappreciated and yet we never stop and ask ourselves if we even appreciate ourselves. Reflection is an important task in life, it helps us evaluate our behaviors towards ourselves and how we could be better individuals not only to those around us but to ourselves also. Stop for a minute and think, do I appreciate myself? Do I see the good in what I do each day? Do I give myself credit where credit is due? By learning to appreciate ourselves and what is around us, we attract more appreciation from those around us also.
Anonymous
October 27th, 2015 2:18am
You might feel unappreciated because you do things and might not tell anyone that you did, or you do them when people might be really busy and won't notice unless a fire alarm goes off. Honestly there are a ton of ways to feel unappreciated, the best way to work though it is to talk to the people you want to appreciate you about your feelings. If that doesn't help, you should try seeing a counselor.
ConfusedTeenC
November 2nd, 2015 10:26pm
You may feel unappreciated but that doesn't mean you are. Someone loves you. You just have to find that person. It can be anyone. Go up to a family member and hug them, then say "I love you". They will say it back. Everyone is appreciated by someone.
Anonymous
December 9th, 2015 4:18am
Consider who you want to appreciate you, consider if they are worth it. and maybe consider that the only person who needs to really appreciate you is yourself. It's only natural to feel like that sometimes but our decisions is what determines how long we feel that way :)