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Why do I feel so unappreciated?

217 Answers
Last Updated: 01/29/2021 at 1:43am
1 Tip to Feel Better
India
Moderated by

Smita Joshi, BA Psychology / MA / Advanced EFT Practitioner

Counselor

I am empathetic with my Clients going through emotional overwhelm and passionate in helping them. I am supportive, openminded & interactive in helping my clients.

Top Rated Answers
wonderfullLake74
March 27th, 2018 8:22am
I think we all need to be our own cheerleading team. We need to validate our own self worth, use positive reinforcement and be loving to ourselves. When we look for others to measure our self worth we will never feel whole. This needs to come from within.
D0ncella
April 4th, 2018 8:27pm
We need to appreciate ourselfs first, that's the basic and first because if we don't appreciate our own victories, goals, feelings, even mistakes and lessions, we can't see how others appreciate us.
Mbali313
April 6th, 2018 9:19pm
Are you taking the time appreciate all that is your value? Small acts of self love and self care go a long way.
LucieG
April 12th, 2018 10:29pm
Self worth and feeling unappreciated these days is mostly because we care too much about what others think. Try to find joy and self worth in the little things, even getting out of bed in the morning is a step
Anonymous
April 15th, 2018 3:39am
You may feel like this as everything you do for someone seems to be ignored, they don’t show you any gratification for what you done. Maybe sitting down with the individual and telling them how you feel. That you want them to show that they are thankful to have someone that is there for them the way you have
Anonymous
April 15th, 2018 7:48am
I believe that at times, I allow myself to be unappreciated. I'm a firm believer in that what I allow to happen is partly my fault.
caringBerry61
June 8th, 2018 9:53pm
Did you ask yourself why you feel "you are not good enough"? Why you feel unworthy? Who makes you feel this way and when? Are you aware of the pain that you might feel in or out of your body when you feel unappreciated? If you feel unappreciated it means somebody judges you. Did you ever try to sit quietly, in a silent and safe place, and let your mind calm down and look for the answer deep inside yourself?
juniper20
June 20th, 2018 7:21am
Often people with depression can feel unloved, unneeded, unappreciated or not wanted and that is completely normal. If you are already diagnosed with a mental illness and you are being medicated for it, you might consider asking your doctor for medication adjustments. If not, seeing a doctor and pinpointing why you feel like this can be the first step to not feeling like this. You can do this!
lovelyShiny78
June 22nd, 2018 12:58am
It starts with you and being happy with yourself, before others can see and appreciate you and what you do for them.
Anonymous
June 24th, 2018 7:16pm
I very often felt like this in years gone by. I eventually learnt that, actually, I'm living my life for myself and not for other people. Chances are anyone you've supported or helped out are actually very appreciative. And if not, then no harm, just move on with your amazing life.
courageousDew55
September 12th, 2018 3:16pm
Sometimes I feel like I think about my negative experiences in life so much and end up feeling ungrateful of people who I don't notice, like the positive influences in my life, e.g. friends I feel comfortable with, or close ones I feel secure with. Instead of relying on others, especially the ones who make me feel unappreciated, it is better to be deeply grateful for the things that are already given to me. When this happens internally, I think it helps me notice less of the negative influences around me that I feel unappreciated with naturally. What really works is the right conversation and the right thank you from the right person... I hope I can be that somebody to someone one day.
rinkum06
October 31st, 2018 11:47am
If not always, often our perception of how other people see is usually projection of our own feelings and pur attitudes towards ourself. Do you appreciate yourself when you finish a task you set for yourself or achieve a goal? Are you too hard on yourself and have unrealistic expectations which are impossible to achieve? Do you discount instances when somebody praises you or compliments you? You don't count them. All these actions may make you feel unappreciated. The journey of self love begins from how you treat yourself. A gratitude journal can also be a great tool to remind yourself of the times when somebody appreciates you. Write it down when you feel good about doing something or when someone compliments you. This way when you are in self doubt you can remind yourself that you are indeed valued and loved.
Anonymous
November 30th, 2018 10:10pm
You might be looking for appreciation in the wrong people. I'm sure you know the things you do are good, and you are trying your hardest, and people don't notice that but you do. You see that you're doing your best, and that is beautiful. That is enough. People tend to take others for granted, or even just forget to see someones effort outside of the usual, so even telling someone you feel unappreciated might open them up to tell you they really do. They just kind of forgot to mention how grateful they are for you, and that they notice your efforts.
Jing2010
January 2nd, 2019 1:54am
I don't know your story, but in my experience, we often feel unappreciated when we are looking for it. Do we expect our boss to pat us on the back every time he turns around? No. He or she calls us out when we do not do our job right. The boss expects you to do your job and when you do, then you are most likely not to hear anything. But when we are called out by our boss and congratulated, doesn't it feel great? Basically what I'm trying to say, in this world gratitude unfortunately does not abound. Don't look for praise. However, when you do receive it, enjoy it. You've earned it!
Lautjex01
January 4th, 2019 3:54pm
Perhaps you don't take a notice of some of the small things people show appreciating you. Sometimes it's in the small things. Asking you how you feel, etc. I am sure people appreciate you. Perhaps it is good to figure out how you yourself show your appreciation to people. I am someone who says thank you very often, and that is clear. But sometimes people only smile or give you a nod, or a tap on the shoulder. It could be as small as that. I also often find that if I show my appreciation to people, they show it much more to me as well.
Anonymous
January 13th, 2019 4:52am
In out everyday lives, we often forget to tell our loved ones that we love them. We're all just busy with our lives and such. Sometimes we feel unappreciated because we receive no verbal confirmation, but in reality everyone doesn't say "I love and appreciate you" enough. Though you may feel unappreciated, there is someone who really does appreciate you. Think of all the people you appreciate but don't tell them. They may feel unappreciated, but you're there appreciating and loving them. There's always people who love you, whether you know it or not. It can be hard not having the verbal confirmation, but in reality, there's always someone who loves and appreciates you for all you do, even if they don't show it.
Anonymous
April 14th, 2019 8:58pm
Well.. You know It's a trap to put your value or worth or capabilities or personality traits or anything which belongs to you, under the approval of someone else. If they approve it.. You are valuable if they don't then you feel you have no worth. Let's give this important decision in the hands of the person.. Who knows you the best and value you, appreciates you. And you know the person is who?? It's you.. Yourself.. So let's alstart appreciating ourselves and take the command of our life in our hands. And let noone tell you.. Ypu are worth it or not. Good luck!!
Skybringslight
June 28th, 2019 4:34pm
Often times, we do everything our power to bring about change, take care of others, achieve our goals, ect. Yet, it may feel that those around us are either unaware of our efforts or simply don't care. In most cases, this is because they most likely have conflict in their personal lives, feel jealousy towards your progress, or are facing mental health issues. Although it may be extremely difficult to have empathy towards this, it is important to constantly ask the questions "why?" and "what?". Why is this person ignoring my efforts? What are the some issues they may be dealing with that I am unaware of? Everyone is the star of their own movie; it is easy to forget that others have their own inner worlds. When it comes to feeling unappreciated, the people around you may be dealing with issues that prevent them from saying "thank you". In reality, if you were not making these efforts in the first place, you would be greatly missed. Remember that every positive action has an impact, even if it may not seem like it.
Anonymous
November 14th, 2019 2:16pm
Self-appreciation starts from within. If you grew up not being appreciated for who you really are, it is quite likely you would incorporate a negative self-image. Going through this is a painful process and it requires a lot of strength and courage. The best way to change these inner patterns is through psychotherapy. Behind unappreciative of oneself lies pain for not being really SEEN, and recognized, and it can go hand in hand with anger or jealousy, or a constant need to prove yourself to the world around you. Try to ask yourself questions like "who didn't appreciate me in my life?" / "what I needed to feel appreciated?" / "how I felt for not being appreciated?" / "is there anyone who did appreciate me and what did that person thought me?" / "how can I forgive my parents (or friends) for not appreciating me?" / "how can I heal the wounded child in me that felt unappreciated?" ... Good luck on your journey and give yourself much love and patience!
hopefulPower94
December 15th, 2019 5:18am
Sometimes we are underappreciated. Some of us put more effort and energy into the things we do and people may not acknowledge that. Since we've worked so hard, it can really hurt. It can also really weigh us down. We can be hard to maintain the motivation to keep trying when we aren't getting good things told to us. It's okay to feel how you do. I wonder if it might be helpful to ask for feedback from safe people and hopefully get some appreciation that way. Try to hang in there and I hope you are able to get that appreciation soon.
Anonymous
December 26th, 2019 5:06am
In today's world, it can be hard to speak up about many things, and one of these is telling people when something genuinely touches you. Many people have trouble stating something so close to their heart; something like "Hey I have had a rough day, but when you treated me with respect, that really brightened my day and made me feel better about myself." I think this might be what you are going through. You might very well be having a positive impact on people's lives, but they're too afraid to thank you for it. One of the best ways to combat this is remind yourself of the good you are doing in your day-to-day life. Remember that you are appreciated and important to many people in your life.
Respectfulguy90
January 9th, 2020 12:28pm
Well, I have felt like you do and I may not know what you are going through but I can tell you that maybe the person that you're trying to please and the person you'tr trying to do better is the same person who's not that kind of a person who appreciated your existence in their life What if you're dealing with a person who don't care about you as much as you thought they did and they demonstrate this part of them selves by making you feel less valued If at work you do feel this way then maybe it's because your boss or your coleagues do this unconsiencly and they don't think bout it, then again they could be making you feel this way because they genuinely don't want you to get ahead and they want you to feel trapped because they are using you for their own personal gain
BabyyTyy10
February 22nd, 2020 9:13am
Maybe because you know you're true capability and worth and wish others would too. I completely get how you feel. I often feel like i'm unappreciated, underestimated and misunderstood by everyone. But the important thing is as long as you know who you are and what you want, screw what other people think and say, because at the end of the day you're gonna do you. I understand you said you feel unappreciated, but the thing about that is that you know what you can do, so you should embrace it. Sometimes it's good to remain low key and surprise people.
Anonymous
March 13th, 2020 1:13pm
It could be a lot of reasons,either the people are thinking that way about you which is their right to do,but it's not always nice to feel unappreciated as other people are not always the same people you know that you met in your life,or it could be self-induced thinking caused by number of causes,like:poor diet,lack of sleep,having mental disorders,physical illnesses,and much more.Its just impossible to expect things to go great all the time,especially when it involves people,because people are too complex human beings,they are not the machines,as machines have limited amount of commands to do,while humans have infinite commands and unpredictive actions to do.
Anonymous
April 10th, 2020 6:31am
You may feel unappreciated because those around you don't seem to be showing you their gratification for things you are doing for them, but also, if you keep trying to please everyone, you may find that you start to become unhappy in yourself because you don't seem to be doing things for you, only for other people, and this may cause you to feel unappreciated because you are giving your all to everyone, and sometimes others just aren't the same as you.The problem with the world is that most people are too self consumed to show anyone/anything appreciation. Your worth isn't judged by the medals, thank you's, or congratulations you receive. It's judged by your ability to see who you truly are. Do you feel as if you do what you can to help others/improve the world around you? Don't look for others for appreciation, you'll be disappointed most of the time. You're an amazing person, never forget that. Just remember the only person you need appreciation from, is yourself.
Yougotmyback
April 29th, 2020 7:54am
Even I felt the same once but you know sometimes we expect too much from everything in return. If you're truly doing something to get something in return then it gives you happiness but not satisfaction. Actually, things aren't always how we want them to be. Appreciate yourself for doing good, for making people smile. If you love yourself enough then I don't think you need someone else. Also, be around people who appreciate your efforts. The ones who actually care about you, your emotions & your well being. Everyone is different & people don't always react the way we want them to. I hope this helps. :)
scotty4947
June 12th, 2020 5:16pm
From my experience, when I feel unappreciated, it's usually because I am expecting more. The thought that goes through my head is, "If someone were to do this for me, how would I react?" And, if you do that thing for someone and they don't react in the same way you would have, then you feel unappreciated. But that's just showing that everyone has different levels of showing emotions, and we all have different expectations. If, let's say, I were to show appreciation by buying the person something and my partner shows appreciation by cooking me something- I shouldn't feel unappreciated if they never buy me things or they feel unappreciated if I never cook them anything.
LiliMonroe
June 18th, 2020 8:38am
I think such feeling is caused by simple misunderstanding. I'm a teen listener, in my communication I usually see cases when young people feel unappreciated because they have been underrated, they are actually very smart, intelligent, mostly way more intelligent than other people their age. That's why they feel out of place, other kids treat them badly because they are so misunderstanding against everything they can't relate to. Mostly school outsiders, who have been bullied and unappreciated in their early youth get more confident with time, as their friend circle changes, and they find more mature and understanding people who can appreciate a different and unique personality.
marvelousHeart92
June 24th, 2020 2:00am
i feel unappreciated because i fail to appreciate myself. i want to learn to love myself and appreciate myself so that opinion of others would not affect me. To do that, i must first learn to appreciate my personality, my nature, my boundaries, my needs, my wants, my establishments, my goals, my happiness factor, my weakness and strength, my depression, my anxiety, and my flaws. along the journey, i want to help others who need me in the most reasonable way because i cannot help others and putting myself in an uncomfortable position. i must be willing to help and to do that, i must first appreciate myself.
Anonymous
July 18th, 2020 3:18am
i feel u appreciated when my friends and family look down on me for things i struggle in instead on the things i’m good in. like i help my family out with food and groceries and all that stuff but if there’s one day i don’t help they get mad cause i’m being selfish but when my brothers help it’s no big deal so i feel like i’m unappreciated for all the things i do to help my family around the house even though i’m the one who helps a lot things always get better in the end thou so i just need to keep my head up and look on the bright side