Why do I hate myself so much?
Last Updated: 01/01/2022 at 2:50pm
Jennifer Patterson, LMFT, ATR-BC
Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.
Top Rated Answers
I keep asking myself , why do I hate myself so much. For the outsiders,im the kind of person they wish to be around. But to me, all I can think of is that negatives. Being judged by literally everyone for being skinny, lack of self confidence and anxiety issues. Feels like I'm just a huge ball of negativity whose existence meant nothing. Being taken for granted and trusting the wrong people is what I'm good at. Staying on bed all day ignoring my responsibilities and yet they ask me to love myself. Little do they know, what am I going through.
It's difficult to like myself when I've gone my entire without having felt that anyone cares. I was always the one friend that had to invite people to be involved, and even so I would always end up walking behind everyone. No one ever told me, "I love you", "I care about you," or, "I was just thinking about you." It's hard to keep fighting to like yourself when society has made it clear that it doesn't like you. And yes, people say that what others think don't matter. But, they do matter. What others think of you has just as strong of an effect as who you believe you are in making up your personality. If society doesn't make it clear that I'm accepted, loved, and wanted, then there's no way for me to not ~hate~ myself.
Because I failed alot of stuff in the past. And can't get it out of my head and waste more time. Makes me hate my self so much
Sometimes I just feel that I'm not good enough, and can never be. I'll try really hard to achieve the unrealistic goals I'll set for myself and then realize that I can't reach it, which makes me feel really useless therefore leading to self-loathing, thinking like "Why can't I be better?" and "I need to change". Although wanting to change isn't a bad thing, it will be if it's overdone. I sometimes hate myself so much because I'd compare myself to others. I have high expectations for myself, sometimes even being too high; I thought I was special, the main character of the story, but then realize that I wasn't, and I'm just a normal person, living in a normal little world. And the thought of being unable to change much about it frustrates me, leading to self-loathing yet again. It's something like a downward spiral of hate, where you just can't get back up. It's a viscous cycle. But hating our own selves won't help at all; it'll just bring negativity, and if it gets worse, maybe even passing on the negativity to others. You see, negativity is a really influential thing. It's easier to start hating about something compared to loving. And it obviously has to take time to stop hating ourselves; and I wish everyone who is self-loathing to start trying to love themselves, because if they themselves aren't able to love themselves, then who can?
I hate myself sometimes soo soo much because i feel as though i am worthless to the world, to my family, to my friends. As though i cannot do anything to make them happy and that i just mess everything up.
I hated myself due to not feeling connected around the people around me. I felt abnormal when being outside with my friends, like I couldn't relate to what they was talking about what so ever.
i hate myself so much because i have done a lot of mistakes that made my loved ones disappointed with me. i hate myself because i couldn't bring out the best of me.
It's a self-inflicted feeling, and often comes when you feel that you've messed up, or ruined your life.
In many psychological ways, this is called the "ongoing error". Means that these kinda feelings like "I hate myself so much" are not going to stay forever, in other words these are temporary feelings. By the time of two weeks or after a month you'll eventually forget this and actually will start loving yourself. (no kidding) the cause of this "ongoing error" disease is sudden anger. Which can be caused by something or someone. But importantly, though the feeling is temporary but yet the person who has "ongoing error" could be in a danger of self harming. A lot of psychologists recommend taking anger management therapies or talking with someone who's close to you as an elder. For more contact me
For a lot of us, growing up hasn't been the most positive chapter in our lives. A lot of abuse and insulting has come from our own family. You felt like you weren't appreciated, or good at something. Maybe things are happening in your life right now and you feel like no one is on your side. It does not take too long for this to chip away at your self esteem, not at all. This is the monster in most people's lives that destroys them. It almost always starts with other people. Do not search for other people's approval because we do not often think about why other people act like this. We somehow decide there is something wrong with us. On the contrary. it can have something to do with them hating themselves in the first place. They will make you feel horrible about yourself because that's what they feel. They are only destructive. It never had anything to do with you. Self hate is like a virus. It spreads through contact. The only way to heal yourself is realize there are good qualities you have. Love yourself, love your life. When you can think of one or two good things about yourself, you've begun healing. You might also notice that you enjoy being around your best friends much more than you enjoy being around your family. Some people see in you what they want to see. It is a decision they made and the only way you can begin the healing is to not take them seriously, and everything will be okay.
Because someone or something made you feel bad about yourself. And you believed, that this is what you are.
Because I'm going through depression, and nobody seems to care. But I know that's the depression speaking
Look at yourself like your own best friend. What would you say to them to comfort them? All these negative thought about you, would you say that to your best friend? You deserve love. Love yourself. Be kind!
maybe it's because you never see yourself the way someone else sees you? there's this beautiful quote that says, a butterfly is completely oblivious as to how beautiful its wings are, but the rest of the world sees it and they are in awe. now, that's ironic. coming from me. anyway...
I've discovered that society often causes self-hatred. The thoughts that weight, appearance, and amount of wealth is more important than a kind heart or a creative mind. Honestly, I believe this kind of thinking is wrong, but is much too common. Even the smallest put-downs, whether it be from others or yourself, can cause monumental affects. A Japanese scientist named Emoto conducted a study on words and their impact using two jars of rice in a classroom. One jar was told, "Thank you" everyday, while the other was told, "You fool" everyday. This experiment was conducted over a span of thirty days. By the end of the thirty days, the thanked rice was just as fluffy as when it had been placed in the mason jar, whereas the insulted rice had been rotting. I found this experiment to be not only interesting, but quite alarming and eye-opening. Positivity saves lives... and rice.
Maybe you're not forgiving yourself for small things. Maybe you're highly critical of your appearance and personality. Maybe you have a hard time letting go of the things you've done in the past, or things done to you. I don't know why you hate yourself because I don't know you, and I'm sorry for that.
I hated myself so much because I wasn't who I wanted myself to be. I learned that I could change some things, but the others I must accept. I now try to become the best of me.
as someone who hates herself a lot too, it's hard, but i've talked to a lot of people and it seems like there's a common thread: it's easier. it's easier to be mean to yourself than to other people. brains like to latch onto things that make sense, and it's easier to blame yourself, to make yourself a target. it's awful and hard to work through, but it can be done.
The question usually should be not why I hate myself, but rather what is it that the people around me are doing that is making me question myself.
There are a lot of reasons why you do not love yourself. You may have had a tough childhood and got not enough attention. You may have been bullied and got a trauma after that. You may have not achieved what you wanted. All reasons for hating yourself are in you, all you have to do is figure out what are they and work on them for them to disappear.
because I let her go when I should have fought harder, I let her waltz into the arms of someone else and I did nothing to stop it... I lost the best thing I ever had
Because you are unable to forgive you for some reason. Dont know what it is. But whatever it is, you need to let it go.
Well from what i've gathered people hate themselves because other people don't like them, instead of really thinking about their positive qualities. Also sometimes that can't be possible because they are in such a depressed state they can't even think, but this is quite a severe state and it's in a minority of cases. Another important factor is what opinion the parents have of that person, if it's negative it will quite surely affect ones self esteem. I always recommend people who tell me this to try and think about the things they like about themselves, and if you aren't the person you want to be you still have time to become that person.
Hate comes from dissatisfaction. You think you hate yourself cause you are not satisfied with what you are or what you are doing. You are just demotivated and have low confidence, talk with people who will bring out the best from you. You will love yourself then, just see yourself in a new light.
I hate myself so much because I have hurt many people in my life, and once that happens, there is no going back. You can't take back what you said, or did. That gets me the most. It hurts when you can't stop how you feel, and then it becomes all you know. But it starts to get easier, especially when you tell someone what's going on. And asking for help is a great way to start. Love yourself, don't bring yourself down because someone didn't understand, or you hurt a lot of people. Everyone is beautiful, full of curiosity, and wonderful human beings, we just have to see it in ourselves and help others see what's good about them.
I hate the way I've let myself get this far being alone because I thought nobody would understand me
This problem might be caused by things that have happened to you in the past or things that people told you about yourself that you chose to believe. Self love can be learned and is very important.
I think it's much easier to direct our anger and our pain towards other people who have hurt us towards ourselves, rather than at them. When someone says something wounding to us, it seems to be easier, in my experience to assume they're right and direct that pain inwards than be angry that they (particularly if you care for them) would deliberately hurt you with a lie.
You may not be comfortable in the person that you are because you have not yet explored the world in a more in-depth way to understand your true inner self
I can't answer this for you. You know why you hate yourself. You are the only one who could fix this. No matter how impossible it might seem, You control yourself. You make your own decisions, You make your own choices. You can choose to love yourself. You can choose to forget insecurities. Life is beautiful. And the only thing standing between you and that beauty is that you.
Related Questions: Why do I hate myself so much?
What do you do when you have no passion or drive?My anxiety is getting worse and depression won't let me live my life, how do I overcome this?I feel sad a lot, unmotivated, and I often can't stop crying for many hours. But I sleep and eat decently and I also can smile or laugh sometimes. Am I depressed or just sad?How to get things done professionaly at work when I'm very depressed?How do I keep myself from getting to attached to people?I am struggling with codependency and depression. I cannot afford therapy. What can I do to get help?How do I help explain to a parent that what I feel is valid after they reacted badly?How can I open up to people more even if it scares me?I think I have depression and I want to tell my parents but my brother recently got diagnosed so I feel like they would think that I'm just trying to get attention. What do I do?How to deal with depression fallout?