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why do i push people away? First my high school friends, and now my family. Deep down I just want to be able to have normal relationships with everyone. But something makes me push them away.

6 Answers
Last Updated: 09/08/2020 at 10:00pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Stacy Overton, PhD.

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I am an enthusiastic life-long learner and also a professor of counseling. I have a passion for peoples stories and helping to guide and empower the human spirit.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
June 5th, 2018 5:57am
You push people away because you were perhaps pushed yourself when you were younger, maybe those feelings resonate from your childhood experiences. Maybe you need to accept the fact that you might have had your reasons to do so, but at the same time you must let go of the paranoia that is making you push them away, try and not push away the people you care most about first and whom you're closest to, and then eventually you'll stop pushing people away progressively (:
Anonymous
August 13th, 2018 7:01am
it sounds like you might be dealing with the fear of them leaving you (at least i know thats why i push people away). being afraid that people might leave can make us push them away, as if we're leaving them before they leave and hurt us
Anonymous
March 26th, 2019 5:46pm
So you want to be close to people but you can't help but distance yourself each time. I cannot determine what exactly is going on in your life but I think the reason might be that you are afraid of not keeping in touch later on with those certain people. You might be worried that when you get too close, eventually something could happen and the relationship would end. You might be afraid of getting hurt if you let these people too close and then lose them. I cannot give you any advice on this topic since there could be more to it than what I am seeing but working with the emotions of worry could be a start. I hope this has helped you.
sweetcrackers
December 23rd, 2019 5:42am
I feel this. I used to do it too and I'm still doing it I guess. In my case I think it was that I had a lot going on. I was trying to figure out where I was going to study and keeping that a secret and also pretty depressed and anxious. So with all those things I didn't want to deal with other people having opinions. What helped me was when my brother told me I'm toxic and when I found out that a friend was hurt I didn't talk to her anymore. I realised that even if they are hurt and 'miss me' they won't do anything to get close to me because they think I'll push them away again. If I wanted to stop being alone it had to come from me and I had to really try to keep a relationship with them
brightWhisper25
March 24th, 2020 11:33pm
The answer to the question lives in your past experiences. I feel like there are unresolved emotional issues. And to find out why you are pushing them, only you know the answer. Maybe first ask yourself how long have you been feeling this way, since when did you push people and why you think you push them away. Maybe writing a brutally honest journal with no filters will help you through this. It is important you are surrounded with a good bunch of people that can support you. I think it is time to resolve those emotions and figure out what is really going on.
DrHappyMD
September 8th, 2020 10:00pm
Are you afraid that you will disappoint them or lose them; so instead of going through that pain you push them away so as to protect yourself from feeling rejected. Life is all about walking the path to success, not the end goal. That's why, it's better too be happy in the moment, and find the silver lining in the situation. You learn more from your mistakes, than your successes. That is why you feel more fulfilled when you fail and overcome the obstacle than winning from the very start. Look forward to your next object, because you are one step closer to knowing yourself a little better and helping others see anything is possible.