why do I want to self-harm if I've never done it before?

22 Answers
Last Updated: 11/05/2019 at 12:51am
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Top Rated Answers
positiveWhisper24
April 10th, 2015 9:35pm
It may be that you have a feeling of a lot of pain or stress built up inside you and you are looking for a way to release it. It may be that you have had positive experiences from pain and are looking for that tiny adrenaline rush that you get when you prick your finger for example. Adrenaline is released when we hurt ourselves, to help us feel better - and adrenaline feels REALLY GOOD. It's probably what you are looking for. But you know where else you can get adrenaline? Exercise. Scary movies. Roller coasters. Did I mention exercise? If you have not self harmed but you are thinking about it, it is probably best to seek professional help. I would strongly advise you NOT to try it, because it is VERY hard to stop.
Anonymous
May 24th, 2015 12:08am
when i might take things very seriously then they are in result i mess up and after that i self harm myself as a punishment
Anonymous
July 6th, 2015 7:34pm
One answer could be that your life feels out of your control, often it is that you want to feel in control of your life so you do things that aren't normally what you would do. Inflicting harm upon yourself would be a way to have control over your own pain or life. This is simply one possible explanation and if you are seriously considering self harm please look into counseling or other supportive options.
CristianLau
July 7th, 2015 10:34pm
Do things that distract you when u think self harm thoughts. Please do not fall into the same trap of self harm that I did it will get you addicted. You will always be wanting one more cut or burn or bruise. So yeah think positively. Talk to someone etc.
comfortingHug37
December 1st, 2015 10:27pm
Sometimes we have urges to do things we've never done before. This action though is not something you should do. Take a step back and look at your life. If you are struggling with something dont hesitate to message anyone on the site. Stay safe and take care!
Anonymous
December 14th, 2015 9:59am
It is because you are scared to physically harm yourself. You might hate seeing the scars in your body or just want to hide the truth about yourself. It doesn't matter, you just want to punish yourself for being who you are. You punish yourself since you are not perfect, but in the end, no one is perfect to begin with
ItsAcidalia
March 26th, 2018 1:05pm
curiosity may lead to a lot of things! also, when you're depressed, it doesn't really matter if you've done it or not, you'll still wanna do it
Zora17
April 3rd, 2015 5:13pm
Perhaps you are feeling overwhelmed, stressed, depressed, and are having trouble getting relief and coping, so self-harming may seem like an option. Avoid it because you will only feel worse in the long run and be hurting yourself. It is not a solution to your problems nor a good way to cope. I recommend other coping strategies such as meditation, exercise, and a creative hobby like music, art or blogging. Incorporating these activities into your life can help you feel much better and provide an outlet for negative feelings and stress. Take things one step at a time and be compassionate towards yourself. By doing this, over time things will get better. You can do it.
Anonymous
July 8th, 2015 1:02am
This may not be your case, but it was mine, and I feel it could be helpful to share it. When I've self-harmed in the past, it's been primarily because I feel I deserve the pain. It's a sort of self-punishment. Because of anxiety I constantly worry and feel horrible regret at the smallest of things; I've spent sleepless nights flinching over the repeating memory of accidentally not holding the door open for an old woman, calling myself a horrible and inconsiderate human being. Any event like this could cause me to hurt myself. To punish myself. Many, many things can cause you to want to self-harm. Guilt, pain, stress, depression, even masochism; anything can be a catalyst. I spoke with someone close to me about it and just admitting to them that I did it, that I was actively doing it at the time, helped me through it. It helps having someone that supports you. If you haven't done it yet, DON'T. Talk to someone instead. Turn to a trusted friend, to a family member, and seek professional help if you have the resources.
JoannaC46
July 7th, 2015 3:45pm
it's called relapse. sometimes you want to hurt yourself in order of feeling relieved. it happens, do not worry. relapse is part of recovery
Br33zyS3tz
August 11th, 2015 10:39pm
This is interesting to consider, I believe that part of this notion, this sensation, this desire to self harm comes about due to our human nature--the human condition. As humans, the body, mind and souls are all very complex and dynamic; sometimes we are in control of our feeling and emotions (so we believe), and others, we become overridden, overtaken, and burdened by such emotions, such desires. Its okay, it happens, these thoughts appear, disappear, and sometimes reoccur--its all part of the human condition; take it easy and slow, make the best and most rational choices, be strong and pursue what is forward; you can do it.
astuteScorpius
September 6th, 2015 10:50pm
I never used to self harm until I got in a relationship with someone who was afraid of outward acts of violence. I started self-harming because at the time I told myself it would be better since I wouldn't scare my wife. It can be a curiosity or it can be a form of unaddressed need for anger management.
demonhunterkaz2y5
December 14th, 2015 10:14pm
Many people feel as if pain on the outside will relive pain on the inside. This is an entirely incorrect theory, but it also doesn't help that people, especially teenagers and young adults, always hear about how people do it to relive pain, and we start to believe that it is true. It also has a lot to do with the common scientific belief that pain releases endorphins, which numbs pain. While this is true of physical pain, it will NOT numb any kind of pain that you feel in your mind and heart.
Anonymous
June 13th, 2016 12:58pm
a factor of life issues or personal feelings may be this conduct. the idea may be appealing to those who generally feel something wrong ongoing or arising.
Alive101
September 13th, 2016 8:19am
Because somewhere you hate or blame yourself for somethings going wrong. When you start to compare yourself with others, that the one they do why you can't. It's just you are angry to yourself not being good or successful like others. But you should always remember that you are one of a kind, there is a good In you, find it, nourish it and shine. I know you can, and you know that too
Anonymous
September 19th, 2016 3:15am
Some people get the desire because they feel numb. When you go through so much pain in your day it is easy to shut off your feelings and sometimes it can be hard to reconnect back with those feelings. Others may use it to distract themselves from the pain around them that they suffer from in their lives.
Anonymous
July 25th, 2017 11:38am
Perhaps you are feeling overwhelmed, stressed, depressed, and are having trouble getting relief and coping, so self-harming may seem like an option. Avoid it because you will only feel worse in the long run and be hurting yourself. It is not a solution to your problems nor a good way to cope. I recommend other coping strategies such as meditation, exercise, and a creative hobby like music, art or blogging. Incorporating these activities into your life can help you feel much better and provide an outlet for negative feelings and stress.
windfox3
October 24th, 2017 3:13am
Sometimes we see images of others self harming and we think it's a valid coping mechanism. Other times we just hurt emotionally and feel like physical pain is a better thing to feel than having to accept our emotions. Both are difficult choices and don't always ease the pain we have in our hearts or minds, but physical pain distracts us. Keep that sentence in mind. Physical pain is a distraction. Also keep in mind, there are a thousand other ways to distract yourself too. Sports, art, music, talking with a friend, a good movie. When you feel like self harming, consider other ways you might distract yourself from distress first.
moonlightdragon
October 24th, 2017 10:52am
There's always a first time for everything. Just because you've never done it before doesn't mean you can't feel like doing it at some point. Maybe you've reached your limits and so that desire appears. But it is never the solution, and so you should search for help.
gongoozlersoup19
November 14th, 2017 4:48pm
Sometimes if our feelings are so overwhelming (think feelings such as hurt, depression, scared, etc.) we want to "check out" through self-harm. I'm assuming that this is the case for you, as there are a number of reasons why an individual would want to self-harm. I would recommend to talk with a safe individual about it and figure out what is going on for you, as it's a red flag.
Anonymous
March 19th, 2018 1:17am
You may want to self harm even though you never did it before because it helps you cope, relives the stress or tension that was hold in you too.
Anonymous
November 5th, 2019 12:51am
As someone who can remember the first time, the reason I wanted to was that I was struggling with my emotions and hadn't tried self-harm as an outlet before. As I struggled with my emotions more and more, I looked for anything that could help me feel better, thus I turned to self-harm. It wasn't my best idea as I soon became addicted to it and turned to it for any inconvenience in my life. However, after 3 years, I learned that it was not the best and that there were other outlets I could use such as art or just retouching with friends. If there is one word of advice I could give it would be to not start self-harming. I know it's challenging and that's okay. But if you've never experienced but feel like you want to or even just have urges to relapse, don't do it. I promise you, things will get better and try something else, something that will help you grow from your situation. You got this.