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Why doesn't anybody else seem to be struggling as much as I am? And why can't they see how much I need some help?

19 Answers
Last Updated: 05/26/2020 at 3:03am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Penny Dahlen, Ed.D., LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I am committed to helping you find your passion, heal old wounds, and flow smoother in all aspects of your life path! I use a compassionate listening approach.

Top Rated Answers
March 13th, 2015 8:38pm
They do, everyone does, however we can see only our struggle. We complain that no one help us, but we don't help others too
April 29th, 2015 3:51pm
A lot of people struggle, they just don't show it to the outside world. Sometimes pride plays a role and people don't want to admit they are struggling or that they don't have things under control. Unfortunately you have to be upfront with people sometimes when reaching out for help. They can not read your mind or thoughts and are sometimes so busy with their own lives that they miss the signals you are sending them. It doesn't mean they don't care, it just means they did not notice your underlining signals you were trying to send them.
February 27th, 2015 4:00am
Each person has their problems. You may feel isolated but millions of others experience this everyday. You are never alone.
April 19th, 2015 7:25pm
Everybody is struggling with something, but some people show it more. Also, you see your struggle more because you are the one feeling it. We are here to help you :)
July 7th, 2015 8:36am
Hello, maybe i can help you out with listening of where your struggling about. Where are you struggling about?
October 26th, 2015 3:57pm
You have a different mindset as them. You might have a slower way of processing information, but that means that you are thoughtful, very smart, and creative. Needing help doesn't mean you are stupid, it means that your brain is thinking extra hard.
February 2nd, 2016 2:43pm
Nobody is going to know what you're going through if you don't talk it out with them. Try having a peaceful conversation with others, and see where the conversation goes! They might need you more than you need them.
November 8th, 2016 8:24pm
Often, our struggle is extremely internalised. Of course, the is always the discrepancy between who you believe yourself and who others believe you to be, but I think in this case it goes even further. Mental struggle is not evident from outside, especially if you isolate yourself. So others might not see you struggle, and you might feel like no one is struggling as much as you for the same reasons: because we hide our stuggles. The best thing to do if you need help is to go get it, as hard as that can be.
April 8th, 2015 5:43am
we all carry our burdens differently! Some of us hold them in while others are apt to speak openly about them. No one can really say what another is experiencing in life unless they have walked a mile in their shoes.Not everyone wears their feelings on their shoulders and not everyone knows the signs of a person needing help. Sometimes in order to get what we need and want we must be brave and reach out for help by talking to friends,family members, and whoever else is available and letting them know how you feel. 7cupsoftea is a great place to start!!!
April 15th, 2015 10:58pm
maybe you are self projecting your self-negativity onto others so much so that they begin to think the same thing as yourself. negativity feeds negativity.
April 24th, 2015 9:51am
Everyone has different struggles. Just because they don't seem to be struggling doesn't mean they aren't. They might just be good at hiding it or maybe they don't let their struggles bother them enough for them to be noticeable. No one knows how much another person really is struggling. They might not be able to see your struggles for the same reason you can't see theirs. Or, if you need some help, there's no shame in asking for it. Chances are, people will be glad you went to them for help, knowing how much you trust them. If you don't want to go to them, there are others who are willing to help you any time, like on this website. Feel free to reach out whenever you feel the need to and know that you will be okay in time.
May 31st, 2015 6:10pm
The world is full of many different problems but also many different people. When you pair up a different people with the same problem they will react differently, it also works in reverse where the same person might react differently to different problems. In conclusion everyone sees things differently.
November 30th, 2015 12:22pm
have you tried talking to a friend or family member about how you feel.I am sorry to hear are not alone
October 24th, 2016 3:17pm
Other people won't know that you are struggling if you truly don't talk to them about it. If someone sees how much you struggle, they may not say about it because they are either too shy or don't want to interfere your life. Others do struggle a lot, they just don't show it :)
January 3rd, 2017 4:47pm
Just because people dont 'look' as though they are struggling doesnt mean that they are not. People cope in different ways, no two people are the same. Perhaps you need to talk to them and explain just how much you need help.
July 9th, 2018 4:18am
People seem to be interested in their own life. the ones that really feel hurt are the ones that pay attention to others. There are people out there that feel the same way as you. Take me for example, im hurting and no one seems to care. But believe me i care about the people that are hurting. Especially people like you. My job is to help anyone who is feeling hurt or just need someone to talk to!
May 14th, 2019 9:17pm
Sometimes pain and difficulties can feel like an incredibly isolating experience. We can feel as if no-one understands what we are going through and this exaggerated thinking can trigger us slipping down into a pain spiral where we feel trapped and isolated and overwhelmed by the weight of our specific circumstances. However the truth about isolating circumstances is that most people are on a rather challenging journey in life and because cultures do not encourage the communication of deeply personal problems we forget that most of us are fighting some type of deeply difficult solo battle specific to ourselves alone.
January 13th, 2020 6:50pm
Sometimes it's hard for others to pick up on the fact that you might be going through a hard time. (especially if they've never had any experience with mental struggles) It might seem obvious to you, but it might not come so easily to them. It's a hard choice to make, but opening up to others around you can really make a big difference when it comes to having support. It was certainly hard for me to tell the people around me what kind of place I was in, but it turned out to be a great decision since they were completely unaware of what I was going through.
May 26th, 2020 3:03am
At times it can feel like you are the only one who is struggling. This is usually not true, almost everyone struggles at some point in time. Some people are really good at hiding it since they think that asking for help is a sign of weakness. This is not true, it is always okay to ask for help. They might not be able to see how much you are struggling and need help because they are either too wrapped up in their world or you are good at hiding. Sometimes you have to ask for help instead of waiting for someone to see that you are struggling and come and help you.