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Why, no matter how many people I am surrounded by or immersed with, do I feel so utterly alone?

25 Answers
Last Updated: 11/20/2018 at 3:26pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Evelyn Coker, MSW, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I am down to earth and enjoy working with all clients. I have a special passion to support teen girls and women. My work is nonjudgmental and provides a safe space to grow.

Top Rated Answers
January 16th, 2015 4:01pm
Sometimes we feel most alone when we are too preoccupied with our own thoughts. Many of our daily conversations contain only surface-level topics, such as the weather or work. We avoid discussing our hopes and fears because we feel it is impolite or intrusive to ask personal questions. Joining communities that you share a common interest with, such as book clubs and volunteer groups, might help you find deeper conversations and stronger connections. Online forums also host great communities wherein people are comfortable opening up about themselves. Unfortunately, sometimes we must strive for human connection--it's not always presented to us. Find people with whom you can share your experiences or interests and who are open to sharing their own.
January 11th, 2016 2:41pm
because life is a hell that i am forced to live. death seems beautiful. people don`t care anymore about anyone but themselves
December 28th, 2015 3:05am
I feel this problem is a disconnect with yourself, rather than others. My opinion is that we disconnect ourselves from the part that makes meaningful relationships by not trusting, respecting and being at peace with ourselves. When we can come to terms with ourselves and accept ourselves as who we are, then we can let others accept us and in return accept them.
April 4th, 2016 2:31am
We feel alone because we never learned how to connect and feel a sense of belonging in our past. Without connection and belonging, we grow up only identifying with the loneliness that was our past.
May 8th, 2017 8:55pm
It may be because you don't feel connected to the people you are surrounded with. This happens to me a lot because I need a certain atmosphere and need to feel welcomed in order to not feel alone in a crowd. I've been in groups of strangers before and felt alone because everyone was able to find someone to chat with, while no one was chatting with me. I've also been in groups of friends and felt alone because of different reasons. For example, maybe I was with two of my friends, but the two friends are closer to each other than they are to me, so they have inside jokes that I can't be apart of. That makes me feel alone. It can go like that for if I'm with six or seven friends. The number of people you are with doesn't always matter, what often matters is if you feel like you are truly "with" those people by relationship/friendship, and not just "with" them physically.
May 11th, 2015 3:15pm
You most likley have depression, as that is a common factor or effect with it. Do you always feel this way?
December 8th, 2015 12:09am
have you ever talked to anyone else about this or not, because if you havent, i understand,do you suffer from bullying?
February 15th, 2015 10:53pm
It is not quantity that counts. It is how accepted and understood you feel, how much you feel like you can trust and be yourself around others.
August 11th, 2015 12:06pm
Because you feel mental alone. You need to finde just one person that will make you happy inside.
October 27th, 2015 12:12am
I completely understand. People ARE there for you but you feel alone. Unfortunately this is a common symptom of depression. This site is really good about making you feel not alone and making you feel wanted.
November 3rd, 2015 4:25am
We live in a disconnected society where people are not even paying attention to each other or engaging with each other in a meaningful, deep manner. We live in a sea of strangers when we were built to live in villages of 180 or so less individuals. This alienation is common in our modern society that has us rushing around chasing things of little value like material wealth, status and power. Be encouraged though that you are not alone. Reach out for connection and start with the community you find yourself in.
December 14th, 2015 6:40pm
Because it is so difficult to know and understand a person's thoughts and feelings and we feel alone when we cannot share those thoughts and feelings.
December 15th, 2015 9:38am
Because I wouldn't feel connected to them. I connect with people more on a one on one instead of being in a group
January 12th, 2016 6:48am
It may be the people you are surrounding yourself with. You could be in a room full of people but anyone would feel alone if they didn't truly know someone.
February 29th, 2016 7:47pm
it does not matter how many people are standing next you. What matters are the people you feel connected with the one you can freely talk to the ones that make you feel like you belong among them
April 11th, 2016 10:08am
this comes from not being able to communicate your feelings properly. every person in your life has a place, like family members, relatives, circles of relatives, friends, circles of friends etc. even strangers in certain situations have their place in your social mind. try to build this social order in your life, starting from your closest family members and closest friends and spreading out. you won't feel alone then.
May 30th, 2016 6:26pm
You feel utterly alone because you feel that no one truly understands you. Sure, you laugh and joke around with them but that's just you going through the motions. When it comes to your heart, your feelings, what you care about, no one gets you. No one is there. It's like no one actually cares.
July 18th, 2016 5:05am
Because you don't relate with them. They are not the kind of people you wanted to hang out with. Or sometimes, it's you being detached from everyone.
September 6th, 2016 7:28pm
Because all this people surrounding may not be the same kind you prefer to socialize with plus if this people dont truely care about you or give you attention that could be a major reason why you feel all alone while surrounding with a huge crowd
September 19th, 2017 2:48am
Some people who are around a crowd can feel alone or a part of everything and it all just depends on that person. For you however, you might just be feeling alone only because the people you're around aren't people you know or feel close with. Easy way to solve that is to just speak to them, build new friendships, there's no harm in that.
November 27th, 2017 6:53pm
Feeling like you're on the outside looking in is often just perspective and the mood you're in. Trying to connect and let people in is important. If you always feel that way, it may be time to find a different group to interact with.
May 22nd, 2018 6:29am
The best way to combat loneliness is to feel loved and understood. Loneliness usually sprouts from an overwhelming dread of being misunderstood and, overall, isolated.
July 16th, 2018 1:58am
Well, Have you thought that maybe you don't really talk to those people around you? Or maybe it might be that the person that you want around is not there to talk to? Do you question what your purpose in life is? Choose one btw. Last one might not be it.
November 5th, 2018 7:28am
As someone that has felt like that, the piece of the puzzle that is missing, or rather making you feel like you’re alone, in my opinion, is a bond between someone. When you form that bond with someone, you’ll feel like even if that person isn’t right there with you, in front of you, they are in fact with you in spirit or thoughts. This bond can be obtained by having a best friend that you almost always hang out with or a significant other, that you are able to talk to about anything and everything and do just about everything with. I hope my answer helps you with your question.
November 20th, 2018 3:26pm
My, friend you are not alone there are so many people struggling with this same issue as you are. It probably is some kind of in balance in the brain where your brain does not produce enough serotonin. You can go to the doctor and they will probably give you some medicine to help your body to reach a balance, so that you will be able to become more social than what you are right now. It can be a drag when you just do not fit in any where you go and you just do not know what is wrong with you. I recommend you get you some medicine so that you might be better able to fit in with other people. I wish you nothing but the best moving forward with your life.