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How do talk to a partner about triggers from a past sexual abuse?

10 Answers
Last Updated: 05/27/2017 at 9:56pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Shawn Wilson, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I provide supportive counseling and psychotherapy. I utilize cognitive-behavioral and solution focused strategies to address client concerns. Personal coaching is available.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
September 14th, 2015 11:24pm
It may be hard coming out and talking about a topic you'd probably wish to avoid in the first place. Ensure that this person is someone you trust, and make sure he/she understands and is aware of your past situation and the kind of effect it can have on you. Being open and honest with them about your approach, feelings and thoughts about the past situation would help in building a better understanding.
Paramythia
January 13th, 2015 5:05pm
Find a place where you're both comfortable and be clear with what you say. Make your partner understand excactly how you feel, and that you need him/her to understand and respect how you feel, and that your mood and feelings can change in certain situations.
Anonymous
January 16th, 2015 10:50pm
You just need to be honest with them. A good partner will understand that it is a personal and hard thing for you to talk about but it is very important to be open and honest in a relationship.
Anonymous
April 8th, 2015 4:57am
Talk only when you feel comfortable opening up. Ensure that your partner is trustworthy. If you have those, then just be honest. Find a quiet place where it's just the two of you and talk your heart out. Stay strong!
Anonymous
May 13th, 2015 7:24am
sit him down and gently explain the triggers from the past sexual abuse. Be completely honest and open with him.
PoliteOcean
September 5th, 2015 11:55pm
Its not easy but if you are in a relationship the best thing to do is to be honest with them if they are somebody you love and trust. If they love you and care for you, they will want to know and want to help you the best way they can.
Anonymous
October 27th, 2015 7:19pm
In every relationship, it is important to have full communication and to be able to be open and honest with your partner. Let him know there is something you would like to talk to him about, and just put it all on the table.
Anonymous
January 4th, 2016 2:14am
Sit down with him/her when you're comfortable and tell him/her that it's serious and you don't like talking about it. Talk about it afterwards.
Bluewolf1229
January 23rd, 2017 11:17am
Make sure you can trust the person you are telling anything to but expscially trauma and triggers to that trauma. Perhaps in a quiet safe space and start out by telling them i need to tell you something that has nothing to do with you but affects us. You dont have to tell everything but since you want to explain triggers your partner might have questions in the end. Make sure your ok first before you try to explain triggers and trauma to others.
PeacefulAngel79
May 27th, 2017 9:56pm
The most important thing is to be honest. He/she does not know what you went through unless you tell him/her. Then, together, work on a system of open communication. Help them understand that your feelings may change from day to day, and what is acceptable one time may be difficult another. If you are both patient and understanding of each others needs, you can build a relationship that works fort both of you.