Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

I tried to talk to someone about what happened to me, but they just said I should stop complaining. Are they right?

43 Answers
Last Updated: 04/12/2022 at 7:02am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jennifer Fritz, LMSW, PhD

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

Day to day life can be stressful and overwhelming and my strength is assisting my clients in a supportive, empowering and practical manner.

Top Rated Answers
izza
September 11th, 2014 9:25pm
No,If you feel like something is bothering you then the only way to feel better is by talking about it,don't take what they said literally they could of meant that you should try move forward and overcome what happened rather then just simply complaining about it.es it is easier said then done but you just need to keep trying and you will feel much better.Dont think that you should not talk about things with people because if you just bottle it up you will feel worse.Move forward and you will feel much better ,I promise :)
Anonymous
October 1st, 2014 11:37pm
They're totally wrong and clearly not a useful person to talk to about anything important. Some people have too many issues of their own to have the patience required to listen anyone else's issues. They're not bad people, they're just not optimal listeners. Don't give up, you can find good listeners here. It's often easier to tell the big stuff to an anonymous stranger so you don't feel judged or fearful that it will come back at you in a bad way.
Teasley4031
October 25th, 2014 6:08pm
Absolutely not-they are 100% wrong! Everyone is allowed to vent and share what they're feeling. Nobody should be made to feel like they can't open up and talk to people....what people don't understand is the people they're saying that to.....most of the time already have a really hard time opening up and saying anything at all, and then to be told that....unacceptable!
Pieta
November 18th, 2014 2:47pm
Absolutely not! If whatever you needed to talk about was important to you, there must be a place and time for you to actually share your story. We all need to blurt out our thoughts, fears, stories etc from time to time and for me it is inappropriate to just try and get someone off my chest by telling them to stop complaining. Of course there's a difference between nagging and talking, but assuming you did the latter, they're not right.
MusicGal
November 16th, 2014 4:56am
If you want them to be right, then they are right. But if you feel that what you are talking about is an issue, then they are in the wrong. You obviously trusted them and confided in them and that shows strength and courage, so are you complaining, no. You are just trying to get help! :)
Casandra
October 6th, 2014 7:54pm
Why would you think that? You should do what you think it.s better for you and what makes you feel better :3
Twokindears
June 12th, 2015 9:32am
If you have an event in your life that is bothersome and you can't get it off of your mind then it is worthy of discussing with someone. You just have to find the right person who is willing to listen without being judge mental! Everyone has the right to express themselves no matter how trivial it may seem to the next person! Sometimes just having someone listen attentively and compassionately may help to resolve or alleviate the stress that comes with what is nothing you so I beg to differ appropriately when it comes to releasing pent up feelings
Yourhelpfulguy
November 5th, 2014 7:13am
No, if you feel the need to speak with someone, then you should do it. Do not bottle your feelings up.
RebeccaH
November 30th, 2015 3:53am
Maybe stop talking to *them* about it. They clearly don't value or want to understand your feelings. If you've tried all you can to explain how you feel only to be rejected, then this person might not be the best one to talk to. You deserve to have someone to listen to you. No feeling is too small; if it matters to you, then it matters. Period. Hopefully you are able to find someone to talk to who cares about what you have to say, be it here on 7cups,or in your own life. Good luck my friend!
Anonymous
May 29th, 2015 6:40pm
No they are not right,you tried to seek help for something that happened to you. You weren't complaining.
Anonymous
April 12th, 2022 7:02am
No, if you feel like something is bothering you then the only way to feel better is by talking about it. Don't take what they said literally as they could have meant that you should try to move forward and overcome what happened rather then just simply complaining about it. It is easier said then done but you just need to keep trying and you will feel much better. Don't think that you should not talk about things with people because if you just bottle it up you will feel worse. Move forward and you will feel much better, I promise. They're totally wrong and clearly not a useful person to talk to about anything important. Some people have too many issues of their own to have the patience required to listen to anyone else's issues. They're not bad people, they're just not optimal listeners. Don't give up, you can find good listeners.
DipityEnigma
June 5th, 2015 1:07am
No. If it matters to you that much, you shouldn't take what they said to heart. Often, those we try to talk to that react like this haven't been through the situations we have. If you're concerned about what happened to you, you could go see your GP and/or a counsellor.
iwillbeyourfriend
July 31st, 2015 4:49pm
They are wrong! Dont believe in them. Talking about your traumatic experience actually will help you improve. You need to talk about it in details to experience healing. Keeping it inside will hurt you more.
ItWillBeOkaySarah
August 3rd, 2015 11:44pm
No, and I can tell you from experience. Sometimes it takes a lot of effort to just ask the person if they have a minute. I would have trust in this person and it is not right for them to blow you off.
Anonymous
August 25th, 2015 4:13pm
No, if it bugs you, you should try to get it off your chest and talk to someone. Maybe a counselor or someone you trust.
Anonymous
December 27th, 2015 6:23pm
No, because the only way is talking about what happened to you and that has a powerful impact in making you feel better, don't take what they said literally maybe they meant that you should move on and overcome what happened rather then complaining about it
StayStrongNeverLoseHope
March 28th, 2016 9:02pm
No they're not right. If something is bothering you then you're more than entitled to share what you've been through whether what happened is small or big, you should always talk about it, one because it does make you feel better, and two because no one should ever tell you that you're just complaining about it. That's ridiculous, whatever you're going through. Speak out, don't keep it in! :)
Anonymous
April 17th, 2017 5:34am
No you are not complaining, if something is impacting on your life and you feel it needs to be talked about then it needs to be talked about; it doesn't matter what one person thinks, keep searching you will find someone who is truly willing to listen and help.
endearingLion70
March 27th, 2018 2:53pm
No, they are not. If something bothers you it is normal to seek help and understanding. We have different thresholds to life's issues but you should trust your feelings.
wonderfullRainbow98
June 26th, 2018 1:29pm
No! You have a right to feel the way that you do, and it helps to vocalize what happened. If the person you're talking to isn't being supportive, you should talk to someone who can either be supportive or listen with a non-biased or neutral mind.
Beautifuldreamer98
July 9th, 2018 1:21pm
No you have every right to complain about anything you want, no matter how trivial because for some of us, it's just our way of expressing our feelings
Anonymous
April 23rd, 2019 3:50pm
No, it is natural to need to vent sometimes and need to get things off your chest. The person who said you should just stop complaining doesn't sound very empathetic and it might be best to find someone else who does have more empathy to rant or vent to. It might be best to consider whether or not it is worth keeping them in your life or if it is even healthy to keep them in your life. Not everyone deserves to be a part of your life. Also keep in mind sites like this one - 7Cups - are here if you ever need someone to simply listen to you.
purplecitrus
June 22nd, 2020 11:26am
Hello. See, it depends on the person and the situation. If it is something that is hindering with your daily routine or work, and you have to let it out to someone, then I would suggest that you talk to someone else about it. If that person is a close friend, then maybe tell them that it is something which you have to talk about, and you have to let them know. Usually, people take a look at a situation and think that they would probably be able to go through it easily and then they apply the same reason to you. Maybe ask someone else, who would listen and lend a shoulder, or tell the same person about how it is affecting you? If neither of the options work, then you always have your friends here on 7Cups to lend their ear and shoulder. Don't hesitate or be shy to hit anyone up and ask for their help! I hope this helps you out a bit. Stay safe!
abigailwenderson
August 3rd, 2020 10:05am
No they are not right!!!! But they aren't wrong as well. Its just they are unable to understand your perception and the emotion you are going though. Sometimes people share opinions based on their life experiences. It might be possible, that person might have had a different way of handling thing, but that doesn't mean they are right in their opinion of you. Not all are good listeners. Try joining a forum and try connecting one to one with someone who can just listen to you. The world is full of wonderful people (especially on volunteer sites like 7cup) as well. Sometimes just listening or sharing makes a huge amount of difference in the way we see ourselves. In short: ** You're Not wrong if u sharing and the opposite person isn't right if its his or her way of taking your stuff as a complain**
Anonymous
September 10th, 2014 10:25pm
I'm not sure. Tell me what happened to you and then I'll be able to tell you if they are right not.
RYBH
October 26th, 2014 11:24pm
They are wrong. I recommend going to a more trusted individual and telling them what happened to you. Find someone who will value what you have to say, such as a parent or trusted adult.
Koyaa
October 8th, 2014 8:02pm
No, they are absolutely not right. You have every right to talk about what happened to you! Clearly this person is too self-absorbed to care about what others are going through.
Samantha25
October 9th, 2014 2:26am
It is never productive to ignore someone's feelings. If you need to express yourself and someone is brushing you aside as 'complaining' you may need to reevaluate who you are speaking to. You should feel safe to share your concerns and receive feedback in any relationship.
NikkiNicole
October 13th, 2014 4:12am
No they are not right. If you are in the need to talk to someone let them know that you want to be heard and not let down. Those that tell u just might not be able to help.
listener11
October 14th, 2014 5:53pm
No! Not everyone is able to listen without judging. Some people feel that when others talk about their negative things in their life they are complaining. However, you are just trying to find someone who is able to listen to you.