Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Is it possible to be influenced by your parents traumatic experiences and if so is it okay to talk to your own children about them at an appropriate age ?

7 Answers
Last Updated: 09/08/2020 at 6:27pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Tracy-Kate Teleke, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
February 5th, 2015 11:42pm
It's definitely possible to be influenced by them, either positively or negatively. I think it's okay to explain these experiences to your own children at an age where it might be useful to them. For example, explaining your experience in an abusive relationship as a teenager could help your own teen know how to identify these types of relationships, be cautious about what they do, and becoming understanding for people who experience abusive relationships, rather than be judgmental.
April 7th, 2015 6:11pm
I think that talking about these experiences can help, however sometimes we should express to children at a young age what is inappropriate activity without going into detail to prevent things from happening to them.
May 5th, 2015 12:02am
Transparency equals intimacy but in my opinion it's certainly an age appropriate discussion. Suggested age 35 ;)
June 21st, 2015 1:21am
Yes it is and yes it is ok to talk with your kids if you think they can handle it.happy life is a blessed life.
July 5th, 2016 1:41pm
Everyone views and lives in the world differently, through the lens of our past experiences. Even if the parents' trauma wasn't directly witnessed by the children, it still has an impact on them. I feel it helps when parents explain to their children why they may do things differently or react in certain ways, when age appropriate. It helps them see things from other's perspectives, and helps both parent and child be aware of how they are treating/responding to the other. As for telling your children of your own parents' trauma, I would suggest getting your parents' ok to do so first, or give the grandparents the chance to do so themselves if they would like. If they are not ok with it, it will help to simply tell your children that you never know what people have been through, or are going through, and give some examples, maybe from your own life.
- Expert in Disabilities
May 7th, 2018 10:23am
We are all influenced by our parents to some degree and so it is OK to talk to your children in an age appropriate way.
September 8th, 2020 6:27pm
Our parents are the biggest influences on our lives. You may have been influenced by trauma that your parents experienced and they may not have influenced you on purpose. Children develop differently. They may tell you when they are ready by asking questions. It is also important to talk to someone yourself and make sure that you having coping mechanisms to use when you feel stress or anxiety due to trauma. Chatting with some may be helpful. Talking through trauma is very beneficial to a lot of people. Bottling up stress and anxiety can make it worse.