Why do I constantly think it is all my fault?
Last Updated: 12/01/2020 at 3:21am
Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.
Top Rated Answers
Everybody thinks it's their fault, but nothing is ever anybody's fault. Stop telling yourself it was your fault, everyone makes mistakes.
It is very easy to blame ourselves for things when we are feeling down or have low self-esteem. Depression is like a black cloud over us, with a voice in our heads telling us how rubbish we are, how everything we do is wrong, that anything that does go wrong is our fault. The first step to getting control this is to notice these negative thoughts, the next step is to question them. If something happened when we weren't around, how could it possibly be out fault? Depression wants us to think it was out fault though. It's tough, but you can get through it and leave the black cloud behind you.
When something goes badly, we automatically try to take on the blame so that we can somehow make it right. It isn't your fault though, and you cannot change the situation by telling yourself that it is.
Over the years people have made you feel like that.I can truly understand how you feel. Healing needs to happen for you.
Well your not giving an context here, but.. It depends the situation. If you were abused, the abuser tends to make us think it's all our fault, for anything else, you could have an increased shame reflex in your brain that was developed when you were younger. Either way, understanding that placing fault doesn't help you or anything else, can free you from this.
Everyone is different. There is no one answer fits all. If you are having trouble with your feelings perhaps you should speak with a trusted adult, counselor or therapist about your feelings.
Because that's what you were taught to believe. Those old tapes going round and round in your head, need to be "re-written" with positive reinforcement, as well as learning to love and respect yourself.
It is a common thought for everyone to feel everything wrong is their doing, but in most cases the situations would have more to do, than the person involved. Trying to observe your own actions as a third person and accessing it would help you better yourself often. Please remember, the universe has a plan of its own and often your actions are also a part of it. There will always be a higher reasoning for all the happenings. Trust in that and move forward with no regrets :)
Some people tend to feel responsible for mishaps even when there is no reason for it. Try to exercise thought patters that will veer you away from this thought pattern.
I have extremely low slef-esteem and an insecure attachment style. I feel like a ruin everything and I think that I am bound to mess things up. I grow up in a family where my dad would yell at me for every little thing. I was always wrong no matter what I did. I could be doing something he asked me to do but I would do it a different way or a way he does not like and he would blow up. I never get to be myself or be calm around the house. It is hard to stop the thoughts of doing everything wrong.
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