I think of the process of dealing with trauma like peeling an onion. As you peel off one layer and deal with it, underneath is another layer. We've dealt with what needed to be dealt with so far. Sometimes something happens later on that reminds us of the trauma - it could be another trauma - maybe not even the same kind, or it could be some trigger that reminder us of the trauma. This get us to looking at the trauma again, so we start peeling that onion a little more. Sometimes other situations happen such as a medical situation that creates a scenario that presents something that exacerbates something that reminds us of the trauma we experienced before. It requires facing more of the trauma for a brief while. In general, we just basically are needing some little tunes ups along the way from dealing with the major work we did previously. However, if we never did work on the trauma to begin with, maybe this is a sign that it's time to start to work through the trauma and face it so that it doesn't happen so offen and definitely without so much interruption as it might be causing at this point. With so many variations on why a trauma experience might be happening, these are a couple thoughts based on my own experiences. Just something to think about.
Experience is nature's tools of helping us deal with stressors and crises. Trauma tests everything we have; the body and mind create coping mechanisms to help us survive those traumas. When similar circumstances present themselves (in the form of anniversaries, new traumas, or similar moments) the body and mind instinctively recalls how it survived the first time. Trauma never goes away, but it can become manageable--it can become something that can ensure our future survival.
Did you find this post helpful?
June 13th, 2016 12:20am
Traumatic experiences stay in the memories of people for a long time, sometimes even life, and this does not necessarily mean you have unresolved feelings toward this. It is simply how memory works - some people do repress memories, and these come about later on in life, perhaps even triggered by something else seemingly unrelated at the time.
It is important to remember that if you feel you are struggling to cope, you seek help. Talk to someone close to you; a family member or a friend. People deal with grief and trauma in different ways, since everybody is different.
Your GP will be able to advise further help if you feel you are struggling
Do they come back at different stages in our life? Do you mean like childhood trauma? I don't think when they come back is the issue, more that they come back, and all unhealed trauma surfaces. It's not a bad thing, it's a good thing!! It surfaces so we can see it and have the opportunity to heal. It's much better to know about something than to be unaware, repressed or in denial. Count yourself lucky.
Because they become a part of ourselves. Experiences are what we’re made of, and we live with them everyday. When we face different situations, we’re reminded of them, and this is why they will always keep coming back. But we should make them our strengths instead of our weaknesses. We can turn them into something that makes us stronger.
Did you find this post helpful?
Related Questions: Why do traumatic experiences keep coming back and resurfacing at different stages in our life?