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Am I allowed to start being upset and getting help for emotional abuse 3 years after it happened?

199 Answers
Last Updated: 05/21/2023 at 1:00am
Am I allowed to start being upset and getting help for emotional abuse 3 years after it happened?
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Paola Giordani, Psychoanalyst

Licensed Psychoanalyst

I have helped and am helping people cope with loss, divorce, anguish and parenting. Depression is also a major issue that comes up.

Top Rated Answers
Caringheart23
March 31st, 2018 5:05pm
Of course! And I'm really glad you are looking for help. Sometimes we burry those hard feelings very deep inside so it takes a long time for them to come out. It can be confusing after such a time but you deserve to be happy again. Wish you all the best :)
Anonymous
March 28th, 2018 4:06pm
Of course you are! It's never too late to denounce. Everyone had their own time. It's never too late and never soon.
Anonymous
March 8th, 2018 4:09pm
you can get upset long after abuse has happened and there is no time limit on asking for help you ask whenever you feel you’re ready
Anonymous
March 1st, 2018 3:28pm
Of course. If you feel troubled about any experiences that you have had in the past then you can always reach out for help. Doesn't matter when you've had them.
Anonymous
February 28th, 2018 12:51am
Yes, you're allowed that sometimes it takes awhile to process it and accept it, everyone has different ''time zones'' for that sort of thing. I'm glad you recognized it in yourself
Taylalee
February 9th, 2018 10:26am
Yes definitely. Sometimes it is extremely difficult to deal with such a traumatic event. Reaching out is the first step of getting the help you need
Gracey
February 9th, 2018 8:55am
Yes of course, it is never too late to start getting help if you are upset. Sometimes emotions can take a while to surface. Allowing yourself to be upset and reaching out for help is okay
caseylavender
January 27th, 2018 8:08pm
Absolutely, yes. You are allowed to feel upset and seek help for a difficult experience even 50 years later. You may find it difficult to see the benefit in seeking help now since you have survived these three year, but it is never too late to begin healing. You deserve support no matter when you start feeling upset. Emotions don't follow a strict timeline. Being aware of how you feel now and considering getting help are very important steps that you have already made.
Anonymous
January 14th, 2018 7:30pm
Its never too late to get help for abuse. Though it may seem that you are already so far removed from the issue, the memories and emotions that can crop up as a result of the abuse, no matter how many years later, should be dealt with so that they can't harm you anymore.
endearingLion70
- Expert in Domestic Violence
December 23rd, 2017 12:31am
Asking for help is always allowed. Feeling abused has nothing to do with time and asking for help has to do with your feelings and when you feel ready to talk about it with another person.
contentedWhisper25
December 14th, 2017 5:54pm
Most definitely. Sometimes it takes a lot of time before we realize we have been in an emotional abuse situation. Plus sometimes we carry guilt for allowing ourselves in that situation. Getting help at any time is the right time for you.
reflectivemind
December 13th, 2017 6:35am
Yes!! Often we suppress our emotions and feelings as a way to protect ourselves from the things causing us pain. It is never to late let these out. If we keep them trapped we can never truly heal.
Allears247
June 24th, 2018 12:28pm
If you are still suffering from the affects of what ever happened 3 years ago I don't see why not. If it's a current problem for you it shouldn't matter how long ago it was. People bottle up things for way longer than 3 years and depending on what happened 3 years might not be that much time to cope.
Anonymous
June 24th, 2018 8:43pm
Of course. You are your own expert and if you feel like you need to process what happened, kudos to you for being brave enough to want to talk about it. I recommend working with a licensed therapist on this.
sereneHug87
July 15th, 2018 6:22pm
Yes definitely, When something traumatic happens to you, you have to deal with it/talk about it, even if it is a long time since it happened. Getting help would be the best thing that you could do for yourself.
Anonymous
August 12th, 2018 7:54pm
Yes because it normal. It’s okay to feel upset about a passed situation no matter how long ago because being upset is just a normal feeling like being happy.
RJordan0114
August 19th, 2018 11:21pm
Yes, for certain! Emotional abuse, like any kind of abuse, takes a toll on the survivor, no matter how long it has been or how strong they are. For some people, it may take months or years to realize the impact it has had and to get help in dealing with the emotions and problems it can cause. There is no time limit on the feelings and being upset because of what has happened to you. There is also no time limit on looking for some help from a fellow peer or a professional counselor, it's a very wise idea.
Anonymous
October 5th, 2018 8:25am
Yes, everybody experiences emotional trauma differently. trauma for me was compartmentalized for about 4 years and slowly leaked out. I am just not getting the help I need from the war in Iraq from 4 years ago. I have along way to go. today most people have only reason to tell me why I am wrong and inflicting more emotional trauma into my life. I have no reason to feel bad for a 2 way street. my actions were just and have been just for 3 years now. and today I am having difficulties keeping people cut out of my life and "intrusive thoughts", witch every way you want me to describe it. All I know, things happen for a reason, and third parties make them happen always. one reason I hate therapists and psychologists is because they can never mind their own business. I would rather be left to helping my self.
Trancer
July 19th, 2018 11:11pm
Abuse can live with you for life. There is no time limit to seeking redress or help for this problem
Anonymous
April 2nd, 2020 9:21pm
Of course you are! Everyone processes certain experiences at different times and if its takin 3 years, thats totally ok! Reaching out and getting help when you are ready is the only thing that matters. I think it's great that you are even able to open up and talk about what happen. That takes a lot of courage and strength to even get help. Just remember you are totally allowed to feel upset and get help wether it took 3 years or even 10.
Charlotte996
July 2nd, 2020 1:46am
Of course you are. Emotional abuse is not like breaking your toe, having it set wrong, and then not being able to change it after some time. Emotional abuse is something that can stay with you for the rest of your life and it's never too late to look for help. If there has been a delay in your response to it (for example only getting upset now) it could be that you've suppressed the feelings associated with the abuse and now you're ready to confront them. If you feel like you need help, don't hesitate to reach out to any of the listeners on this platform!
Anonymous
September 4th, 2020 4:49pm
Yes! You are it's never too late to express feelings and trying to get help from them. It's not uncommon for people to do that. It just means they are ready to talk about it. Most people can't talk about it right after it happens because it triggers memories they can't control and it puts them in a panic state. And most people think they are the only ones but you aren't alone. No one is ever ever alone. There are people just like you that went through the same stuff. Just keep that in mind when your sad
Ginevra962
August 9th, 2020 6:32am
Abuse is something that deeply affects someone for life. Yiu have every right to seek support 3 years later, even 10. What matters is that you recognise that you need help and that you want to free yourself of this abuse that keeps affecting you. I reached out for emotional abuse 3 years later too so it's nothing strange and you are not alone. Emotional abuse, like any other form of abuse is traumatic, especially in childhood but not only. It can lead to depression, anxiety, PTSD and many other disorders. And all those need professional help. The sooner the better but it's never too late.
Anonymous
July 25th, 2020 5:50am
It is okay whenever you realize it. It is the beginning of acceptance on one's part. Sometimes we just repress the emotions that feel unpleasant to us and keep on going forward. Though it makes you feel that everything is okay, not acknowledging emotional abuse is like ignoring the elephant in the room. By choosing to be blind to the abuse, you are not able to be an objective judge of the situation and thus get more embroiled in a situation which is not good for you. It is good to realize this, no matter when the realization comes. Some lessons take time. If you are asking for help, it means you are acknowledging the issue head on now. Its a start to becoming your whole self again.
Awiserfuture
July 22nd, 2020 10:41pm
There’s never a “right time”. Your emotions don’t have a time table. That’s why it’s so important to get help when you are ready. If you’re ready now go and get the help you need. You have every right to be upset and in pain. Don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself and the hurt you’ve been through. For some people it might take days to get help, others it might be years. Some may never be able to talk about their trauma. What’s important is that you recognized that maybe talking to somebody may help you.
safeshoulder2CryOn
July 22nd, 2020 8:31pm
Seeking help for past traumas is always a good thing as that severe emotional abuse can contribute to low self-esteem and depression in the long term. The time lapse between the emotional abuse and therapy should be short but the victim may not be prepared to share their feelings or even talk about the abuses. Usually the victim of emotional abuse need time to process the hurt before being ready to talk about it objectively. Do seek help for any troubling behaviours or thoughts that you may have. Do not try to tackle these alone. Identify supportive people and tools to assist you to untangle from your emotional wounds.Never give up on yourself.
Anonymous
July 22nd, 2020 12:34am
Of course, you're allowed to feel upset about emotional abuse. Emotional abuse can cause really deep emotional scars and it's normal to feel that pain 3 (or even more) years after. You have every right to get the help you need to deal and process that abuse, whether it be through talking to a close confidant or reaching out to a therapist. It's better for your mental health to let out your frustrations and express them to others than to hold them in and let that pain build up. One of the first steps to recovery is to address the pains that you experience and learning to process them.
Anonymous
July 13th, 2020 12:51pm
Of course- the pain of emotional abuse doesn't go away until you get help and express your feelings about it. That can take as long as needed. Getting help is the most important thing to do, and I know personally how it can affect people. Once you express to someone how you feel, you can find out how to deal with the issue, and then you can be free from that past. It will feel like a weight off your shoulder, and you will be more confident to trust people. So yes, you are allowed to be upset and seek help even 3 years after emotional abuse occurred.
aar10
May 27th, 2020 3:42pm
of course, you are, trauma can last longer or often show up a while after due to shock. Its never too late to get help :). You're strong and don't deserve to go through it alone. Often if you don't get help it can last longer and lead to other issues and I'm sure that won't be easy. Feel free to contact the listeners we are all super willing to help, and even the 7 cups therapists who are there to help you when you need someone more qualified! Remember it's not stronger to combat it alone it's strong to get the courage to get help because that takes strength :)
CheerfulHeart701
May 28th, 2020 11:04pm
Yes, of course, emotional wounds can remain with us for years, some of our wounds were carried with us since childhood. It is never too late to get help and start healing, No matter how late. Sometimes we are bottling up emotions and it is affecting us in ways we can't imagine, but something happens that makes us realize we are hurt and we need to heal. In fact, it is great that you are planning to seek help. Please never feel bad, guilty or responsible for any abuse that occurred and don't feel bad for feeling sad or needing help, you deserve to be happy and pain free.