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Am I allowed to start being upset and getting help for emotional abuse 3 years after it happened?

172 Answers
Last Updated: 03/20/2021 at 1:53am
Am I allowed to start being upset and getting help for emotional abuse 3 years after it happened?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Terrence Sawyer, MS Counseling Psychology

Drug & Alcohol Counselor

Social disorders counseling social psychology, substance use disorder counsel

Top Rated Answers
September 14th, 2016 9:15am
Heck yes you are allowed to be upset! Our bodies and minds have no statutes of limitations inside regarding anything that happens to us. Some people do not start to think or process a situation or chain of events until after that person has been long gone from their lives or something similar to that. Also, people abused as children don't normally think what happens at home is "bad" until they're adults or later in life and then go back and have some emotional turmoil about the abuse that happened to them as children. I say when you finally connect and become aware of the feelings inside, don't trap them. work through them healthily. :)
September 16th, 2016 3:36pm
yes you are it is ok to get help it does not matter how long ago it happened you can still get help
September 17th, 2016 7:22am
It is never too late to get help for things that have gone on in your life, no matter how big or small it may be. Later is better than never.
September 22nd, 2016 2:20am
Yes, you are completely allowed to be upset. There is no statute of limitations! Take care of yourself as best you can and ask for what you need, if you can. Or find help here.
September 24th, 2016 10:05pm
What do you mean "allowed"? You own your emotions, you can feel whatever you feel and it will never be wrong! And yes, of course you're allowed to get help even if it happened a while back! If it's haunting you till this day, you have every right/entitled to get as much support as you need to recover and heal!!
September 28th, 2016 3:08pm
You are absolutely allowed to be upset and to get help. It doesn't matter how much time has passed. Your mental health is important!
October 26th, 2016 5:15pm
Of course! It's best to get help as soon as possible, but nobody's going to tell you you're wrong for how you feel.
October 27th, 2016 1:38pm
You should start getting help right away. The problem can get worse as time goes on if nothing is done
October 27th, 2016 2:32pm
Of course you are. People are different, biologically and psychologically, each person is affected by things in a different way from others and it is not necessary that you feel upset directly when something happens. Your personality might decide to simply suppress things and then when something happens, regardless of what that is, it can be a trigger to releasing your emotions. So, this is normal
November 5th, 2016 10:19pm
Yes, never apologize for your feelings. You are valid. The things that happened is real and any form of abuse is wrong. Getting help is important an I am proud of you for getting help.
November 11th, 2016 10:58pm
Absolutely, unquestionably, and totally, the answer is yes. There is no expiry date and no deadline on emotional healing, nor emotional expression, and it's extremely common for people to "bottle up" traumatic experiences as a way of coping with them at a time. But, you can't keep those feelings unaddressed and unresolved forever. Not only are you allowed to do that - after all, everyone is always allowed to express their emotions and seek help for their problems at any time - but you are doing absolutely the right thing, something that will help you feel stronger and more able to develop the emotional stability that you deserve. You deserve tremendous credit for addressing the issues; keep up the good work, and never feel that you need permission from anyone to heal.
November 12th, 2016 3:05pm
It's not a case of being allowed, it's your own personal decision, so yes. You should be able to make a decision without the judgement of others. If you feel like you need the help then you can get it.
December 9th, 2016 1:40am
Firstly, it is wonderful you are getting support. The timeframe between the occurrence and beginning able to process the emotions varies tremendously. Respect your strength and trust the process you are experiencing. Small, deliberate steps can be exceptionally healing. You sound as though you are on your way.
December 15th, 2016 1:11pm
After effects from emotional abuse, can affect you at any time not a specific. But yes, you're allowed until you've learned to cope with it and get into a better situation.
December 28th, 2016 1:58pm
You can get help for any type of abuse no matter how long ago it happened. There are no time limits on abuse. Sometimes it takes years for the emotions of abuse to surface
December 28th, 2016 10:25pm
Whether something happens three days, or even three months pass. The feeling that you get will never go away. You learn to cope. However, coping is never easy. Especially depending on the reason for the new condition, or even a very old one. One thing I do know speaking from experience you have to surround yourself with friends, loved ones, or even a group if you're into that sort of thing. For me I still have hard times. I hope whoever wrote this knows that the 7 cups community is here for you. Including myself. :-)
January 27th, 2017 8:53am
YES. It's not too late at all. In fact, the sooner, the better, because issues that fester below the surface can get worse. That happened to me. By the time I could face the issue, I had more anger than I did originally. But I still got through it. Besides, 3 years is not that long, really. And remember, there is no need to feel bad for not facing it right away - sometimes we just need time to be ready. It is just best to face it as soon as we are up to it at all. And remember, if you don't have to face it alone, if there are safe people to listen and help, take advantage of that. In real life or on 7 cups. A load shared is easier to carry.
February 10th, 2017 9:19pm
You are definitely allowed to be upset about it now. Sometimes the hard-hitting realization doesn't actually hit for a long time.
February 16th, 2017 2:34pm
Yes. Of course you are. OF course, it might not change how you feel, but I was in your situation. A lot of the time we don't even know that it was abuse until years down the line. We don't know that the first step is to charm the victim, the second to isolate them, and the third to threaten and see how they take it. But emotional abuse is a very serious topic and everyone should feel safe getting help for it. It's not too late.
February 16th, 2017 6:15pm
Yes, you are allowed to feel upset whenever you feel the time is right. No one can tell you when to feel sad and when it is right to get help; do it whenever you feel you need to.
March 5th, 2017 9:36am
Yes you are! Those feeling are normal, no one should be treated that way even if the person telling you these things say "you deserved it" spoiler alert no one deserves any type of abuse! And as for getting help, it is never too late to get help!
April 9th, 2017 12:33am
You are absolutely allowed to start being upset and subsequently getting help 3 years after the event. There's no "right" time for the emotions to come and everyone will experience something different. Receiving the right help is the most important thing of all not how long you decided to wait to seek it.
May 7th, 2017 1:29pm
Sure you are, but remember the abuse happened in the past, and of course the best thing about the past is to learn to let go of it by accepting the past will never change, no matter how bad or good it was. The only thing that can change is the now,
June 29th, 2017 2:18am
Yes, of course you are. Sometimes you don't realize what a situation has done to you until you are far enough away to make sense of it. If you are in pain, seek to heal yourself and truly leave this abuse in the past.
July 2nd, 2017 3:19am
Sounds like a lot is coming up for you right now. Your feelings are valid whether it was last week or fifty years before that you suffered abuse. I'm very sorry that happened to you and you deserve to be heard. Getting help and feeling your feelings in non-judgement and compassion are both appropriate and courageous. Way to go in making that decision. How can I help?
August 27th, 2017 2:45pm
Yes, totally you are allowed to! It's not that uncommon to either block out, try not to think about abuse, or have other reasons for not asking for help sooner. Later on when you feel safer, and more able to deal / cope with talking about it, then you might start thinking more about, and becoming even more upset about what happened to you. At that time you may reach out for support. There is nothing wrong with that at all, and you are entirely entitled to the same help as someone who sort help sooner. You are not to blame for whenever you felt safe enough to as for help. I'm glad you able to begin get help now!
September 14th, 2017 11:27am
You are absolutely allowed to become upset over abuse at any time, even several years after it occurred. Sometimes people don't fully realize that they were in an abusive situation until months or years later, and it's not only okay to respond this way, but it's a very normal response to that realization.
November 10th, 2017 2:57am
Anytime is a good time to work on yourself no matter what the issue it good to work on onea feelings having them is fine.
November 10th, 2017 11:04am
There is no time span to get help. None. If you need to talk to someone we all are here or we have therapist inline, or you can find one near you. It is never too late to be upset or to get help. Sometimes we just want to forget any abuse that has happened to us, so we bottle it up and push it aside. We dont want anyone t know, until we cant hold it in anymore. We feel like we are about to explode with emotions and evrything is going to come out, the anger, the sadness, the confussion...and thats okay, everyone has their times when they are ready, some talk the day of, the day after, months later, or years later...and that is okay. Some people dont understand what it is when it is happening, but when you learn more about the abuse, you realize that it happened to you and now you are upset, and its okay if you are. Its okay to be upset for a while, its okay to have an emotional scar from it. Its okay to be upset and get help later than what people ¨expect¨. Sometimes we take longer to show how we feel, and that is more than okay.
November 16th, 2017 2:16pm
Of course you are! It just happens to be the time you want to deal with it and talk to someone about it or just do something about it. You always have the right to be upset.