How can you stop the survivor's guilt?
Last Updated: 01/26/2016 at 9:32pm
Jackie Dross, M.S. Community Counseling
I have a passion for working with people from a non-judgmental, strengths based approach to meet their goals for personal growth.
Top Rated Answers
The guilt you feel is something out of your control, and it doesn't define you. Your guilt is just your emotional response, and like all emotions, it will pass. Every day it will get easier. Keep telling yourself you are not responsible. Keep telling yourself you don't deserve to suffer. You didn't do anything wrong by living. You woke up this morning although you went through something traumatic. You're strong. It's okay to be sad, accept it and let it pass. You deserve to be alive, and you matter.
Consider Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. I'm not sure exactly what happened to you, so it's hard to give more specific advice than that. Things like this tend to lessen in intensity over time, but addressing them with proper therapy can help make that amount of time a bit shorter. :) Take care, and hugs!
To alleviate survivor's guilt I remind myself that I cannot control another person's actions. I cannot be blamed for someone else's actions. Individuals are able to identify when they're hurting someone and the have the ability from taking action that will hurt others. Love yourself because sometimes bad things happen to us that we can't control.
Not everyone is the same there is no one answer for everyone on this. If you are feeling you are having difficulty, perhaps you can speak with a counselor or therapist.
That's a toughie. I don't think we ever truly get passed trauma and for that I cannot recommend ways to stop it. I can however recommend ways to prevent/prolong it and who knows from there you may find yourself elongating the problem and it may just disappear. The way forward is saying "it's ok to be happy, even if I just allow it for this moment" and keep repeating that everytime you do something fun or are about to, or have been asked to join in on something fun.
You have survived a tragedy and may need help to deal with that. Your family doctor is the best place to start
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