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I don't want to talk about my trauma and just want to move on with my life-is this a good idea, and is it possible?

25 Answers
Last Updated: 08/07/2020 at 10:10pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Jennifer Fritz, LMSW, PhD

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

Day to day life can be stressful and overwhelming and my strength is assisting my clients in a supportive, empowering and practical manner.

Top Rated Answers
October 1st, 2014 5:00pm
Moving beyond trauma, or putting the past behind you, is something that is very individual. While we may lock the beast in the closet and turn to other things as though the trauma is out-of-sight - it may not be out of mind. If the choice is to ignore or avoid a traumatic event, there can be subtle or not so subtle intrusions of emotions into our daily lives that need to be acknowledged, but instead are repressed - putting a lid on it so to speak. But hiding the event in the background is not the same as working through the emotions around the trauma, and so is it possible to just forget and move on? This depends on how honest a person can be with their own self - and how much self-examination a person is capable of. Many of us, when hurt or violated in some way, feel anger or resentment towards the supposed perpetrator, which is normal. But when these emotions drag on and reappear in other forms such as arguments at work, a depression that can not be lifted, and the constant background noise of the voice in our heads that keeps persecuting us - "I'm not good enough", "Men (or women) can not be trusted", "I am responsible for the trauma, its my fault" - or any number of other "conclusions" that drift into our thoughts and affect our relationships, health and outlook on life - then the trauma is still active and destructive at some level. Being able to look at one's self is not so easy for many of us. Being critical of others or events that have happened to us points us away from the problem. To truly overcome the effects of a trauma will depend on how intense the trauma is / was, and how willing a person is to look at it face on. Some people have that inner strength and self-evaluation to accept that they are being affected and make efforts to heal. They may talk with others, do energy or bodywork, get professional guidance from a counselor or some other method of releasing the trauma. But many of us do not recognize the ability to step outside of our emotions and look at events in a transparent non-personal way. It never hurts to talk with someone who is compassionate. Sometimes friends and family are too close to us to share the details of a traumatic event. We worry that their view of us will change. Talking is a powerful way to move the energy that is held inside of us. As they say, time heals all wounds, but they don't say how much time it will take. One thing for certain - at some point the trauma must be released, through acceptance, forgiveness or replaced with new ways of looking at the event. Getting help from others - even just having someone listen to you and hear you completely can be very meaningful. Connecting with networks of others who share a similar trauma can also help to put a perspective on what has happened. But just ignoring or stuffing a trauma away will most likely cause it to emerge in some other negative form. Only the individual can answer honestly whether or not they are being affected by the trauma still. If so, it may be time to get help moving that stored event out of the memory bank, or to look at it in a new way.
October 28th, 2014 2:44pm
Trauma won't just go away. You don't have to talk about it right now. But, when you do feel comfortable talking about it, please do.
October 18th, 2014 8:49am
Anything is possible but it would be a good idea to let out you thoughts and feelings on this yes everyone had the experiences but we all can over come them with help
September 11th, 2014 12:26am
Trauma is an extremely hard thing to deal with and of course, moving on is the best thing to do. But moving on without dealing with your trauma is not very good for you in the long run. It's understandable if you don't want to talk about your trauma, and you shouldn't force yourself to open up, especially if your traumatic experience has only happened recently, but once your emotions have settled down and you feel like you can talk, then by all means, you should, it'll really help your emotional and mental health because instead of dealing with the trauma internally, others can help you and you can get rid of all the pressure that keeping it to yourself can bring by talking about it with a few trusted people ^-^
October 12th, 2014 5:23am
Yes it is possible and yes it is a good idea because you moving on should help you stop living in the past and it will help you live in the present
October 18th, 2014 12:43am
It is possible ive gone through some really bad things in my life but one thing that got me through it was talking to someone in confidence.
October 19th, 2014 10:31pm
If and when you feel ready to talk about it, when you feel a nudge instead, you should talk about it with someone you trust and who you know will help you. Getting past trauma is a very long but possible process.
October 22nd, 2014 8:22pm
Moving on is always the goal, and is admirable. But pushing things to the side, not acknowledging or admitting something isn't the way to go. I speak from experience - I kept a trauma to myself for many years, in an attempt to 'move on' and it damaged me beyond belief. Since sharing and becoming more comfortable with the idea of accepting my experience, I have truly been able to begin to heal and to truthfully begin to make steps forward, instead of just thinking I'm moving on when really I'm just in denial. I would advise anyone to find someone, anyone - even if it IS just one person to share with, because this will aid moving on much more than trying just to forget it.
November 2nd, 2014 5:24pm
Yes, it's possible, however it is not a good idea. If we keep such thoughts bottled up inside of us, they can manifest themselves in areas of your mind and life that you'd never thought possible.
November 15th, 2014 1:23am
I have personally felt this way at times. It seems like that would be the easier thing to do to move on right? I was completely wrong. I personally don't think its a good idea because it doesn't really work that way. Feelings from the trauma always find a way to sneak out and then - boom- in a another depression low. I found that actually getting help and talking about my trauma was the only way to actually move forward in life
November 2nd, 2014 8:09pm
No, eventually it will come ou, it's better to do it in a controlled enviroment, rateher than it erupting out of you without a moments notice
November 9th, 2014 12:05pm
It is very hard to just move on from any type of trauma without some sort of counseling where you have the opportunity to talk about what you have been through in a safe environment. If you don't talk about it, the pain and hurt that you've bottled up inside could start to spew out sideways in ways you don't want.
November 16th, 2014 3:18pm
Depending on where you are in life, you may be able to work on "now." Developing a good set of coping skills is crucial before working on any trauma. However, once you are at a point in your life where you feel like you are more stable, it would be helpful to talk about it. I'm sure you have learned a lot from it and it is valuable to be able to see the strength you had to be able to survive.
June 6th, 2016 12:54am
I don't think that will get you very far. We just aren't meant to keep things locked up. I do not believe it is possible for us to deny healing yet move forward with our lives. We must release, we must grieve. There is a time for everything under the sun.
May 14th, 2015 2:03am
In my experience no it is not. I've always been the type of person that thought if you just choose to ignore something and "move on" because you don't really ever want to discuss it then it will just go away, but it truly only gets worse. Talking about the things in your life that have hurt you is a healthy way of releasing the pain you are holding inside, and allows you to gain closure and move forward. It isn't always easy to re-live trauma when discussing it, but its necessary and I promise you'll feel a huge weight lifted from your shoulders once you do :)
November 10th, 2015 7:48pm
No it"s not. Trust me everything is way better to express it by telling or showing somehow because you feel way more free.
December 27th, 2015 6:39pm
If you ever feel that you want to talk about it please do. Yes, moving on is a good idea but it won't work as much as talking helps it will help you feel better but , keeping things inside you is just going to haunt you
May 1st, 2015 2:12am
Yes and no. It will surface later on and force you to face it. Just something to consider. I did this when I was raped, and it surfaced years later and I shut down. It all depends on you.
May 17th, 2015 2:54pm
Moving on could lead to suppressing emotions. You better seak professional help to make up with your expiriece.
May 27th, 2015 9:18am
it's good idea and possible if you don't want to talk bout your trauma and move on to you life. I wish you all best luck
August 10th, 2015 8:47am
Whatever makes you feel comfortable is good. You shouldn't have to place yourself in an uncomfortable situation if it isn't necessary. As for whether moving on is possible, I really cannot say. All traumas are different, and the effects of some can be brief while others can last a lifetime.
November 24th, 2015 3:57pm
yes it's the best idea ! moving in life and forgeting the past is the first step to begain a new life !
May 31st, 2016 12:42pm
Yes, definitely possible. Shift your thoughts to your another interesting area. Keep busy with your works.
May 14th, 2018 11:57pm
Talking about bad experiences helps to put them in perspective and thus deal with them better. Not talking does not make the thoughts go away.
August 7th, 2020 10:10pm
Honestly, I will tell you from personal experience it doesn’t work. It feels good at the time but it’s just a. Ticking time bond waiting to explode. It will keep seeping to their surface until it does come through and by then it’s usually hit a point where you now have no choice but to address it. However it’s likely you would’ve caused yourself a lot more pain than necessary in the process. For this reason my best advise is to try and address it as soon as your In a mental space to, but try not to put it off too long or be too hard on yourself.