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I'm scared to tell people how my trauma affects me, because I don't want to be seen as weak-what can I do?

22 Answers
Last Updated: 04/24/2018 at 5:55pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Monique Bivins, MA, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have a real passion for helping my clients to overcome life's obstacles . My work with clients is nonjudgmental, supportive, and interactive.

Top Rated Answers
November 9th, 2014 7:05pm
Being seen as 'weak' can be a major concern for many people who have experienced trauma especially if they feel their 'trauma' wasn't that bad or that other people would deal with it better.However it's important to realise that experiencing the after effects of trauma does not have a moral quality.But there are things you can do in order to try and help people to have a more helpful/positive reaction.You can educate them how trauma affects people in general (most information available online will relate specifically to PTSD though so if this is not something you struggle with it might be best to explain it on a very personal level).You can also tell them at first about your emotions around telling them and your fear of appearing weak.Choose carefully who you tell.
September 11th, 2014 11:46am
its not being weak. its the fear of being seen as weak. its never wrong to seek help because it will help you to overcome your trauma slowly but surely. it is a slow healing period and you will get there if given the chance.
September 19th, 2014 4:29am
When I have had a traumatic experience I was terrified to tell people the sorrow, the anger, and sometimes how I saw myself was different. The thing is you have to take a step back, and think about if a friend were to sit down with you and go to speak to you about the situation would you think they were weak? Sometimes I even looked into the mirror and rehursed what I would say, and try to imagine what the other person would say.
June 12th, 2015 12:25am
Sharing a trauma does not make you weak. In fact showing that you are willing to talk about what has happened to you and face it head on makes you stronger than ever.
July 20th, 2015 4:45pm
Don't be afraid.Embracinbg your trauma and making them understand that you have this trauma will make them understand you. Remember that traumas and any challenges in our life will make us stronger
November 6th, 2017 4:43pm
Firstly speaking about a trauma that has deeply affected you is probably the strongest and bravest thing you will ever do. You have to chose someone you trust and discuss this if it is affecting you. That maybe a family member or friend or maybe a listener online. The main thing is no one would consider you weak
December 5th, 2017 12:15am
Start with telling people you trust. Just say you have something to tell them that both you need to get off your chest and that they need to know. Unless the person truly is cold hearted, they won't see you as weak.
February 6th, 2018 3:50am
Talking out your trauma doesn't make you weak. It is primary way for you to be more strong. Usually, people won't talk out about their problems to people. But, in reality when you started to talk about your struggles, people will raise their respect on you, because they know its not that easy to cope all those struggles.They might use you as an inspiration later. So don't be scared to talk out.
April 24th, 2018 5:55pm
You shouldn't be scared,you should go out and talk to someone that you trust,or with someone that is important to you. And everyone is having some sort of trauma,so you shouldn't be scared of it
September 27th, 2014 11:26pm
Talking about what is bothering you is always a good start. Everyone has problems, traumas, and things that affect them.
October 26th, 2014 4:34pm
trauma is a scary thing and many people have suffered through not as a weakness you have gone through a sitution that has put you through this dont froget to tell them why so they can understand
October 27th, 2014 12:48pm
Everyone has fears in life. And seeing help is not a sign of weakness, its a sign of strength, that you can stand up for your self for the better. How ever not everyone in the world likes to listen to problems because they are so caught up in their own. Be wise, think about it, and tell a few good people about your problem. like someone older or more experienced or someone you trust. Know that it always gets better , not easier. :) cheers.
October 27th, 2014 11:26pm
Speaking is not a form of weakness. If anything, talking about your trauma and how it affects you can encourage others to speak about their traumas and how they affect them.
November 2nd, 2014 3:14am
I feel it depends on the enviornment. If you are with associates at work who you aren't close to, it might not be the best idea at this point as they may think it'll hinder your work performance. In general, talking about trauma to people around you that you are comfortable enough to share with, will not likely be seen as a weakness. Usually people who are mature enough to have experienced their own life strains, will know that being able to talk about it means you have much more strength to know, understand and share with others something that is very sensitive to you. Now that is some amazing strength right there!
November 14th, 2014 9:18am
Share your trauma with only your nearest and dearest. Try to approach the matter in a fun friendly way such as joking about it and seeing the funny side.
November 16th, 2014 6:56am
share it anyway. sometimes its nice for people to feel like they're not alone and that what is affecting them is also affecting other people. vulnerability might be appreciated. this site is all about people learning that they are not alone.
November 17th, 2014 8:28am
I understand the need of not wanting to feel or be seen a certain way in front of others. There are many people you can speak to and you can do it anonymously as well! For example, we here on 7 Cups of Tea are completely anonymous and are never here to judge you. Sometimes we just need to speak to someone who doesn't know us personally to make us feel better.
March 20th, 2015 3:57am
You are never weak for having feelings about a traumatic experience. That's what makes you human. It only shows how strong you are.
September 14th, 2015 12:40am
when you're scared to tell people about whats going on with you because you don't want to be seen as weak, its important to remember that when you live your life with honest humility- living while forgiving yourself and sharing who you are truly, then you allow others to do the same in their own lives. You encourage others to love and forgive themselves unconditionally.
November 3rd, 2015 3:05am
This is a natural feeling that comes when suffering trauma. You want to show everyone that you are strong, that you aren't broken. If they love you, they already know this. They will not blame you for what happened. If they do, they do not deserve to be in your life. It is okay to express how you feel. It is okay to talk about it. I'd say it's necessary to talk about it, to move on, to learn how to feel strong again. Your trauma is not about how others feel about it- it's about how you feel about it. If you are afraid, take your time. No one should ever force you to speak about things until you're ready to speak about them. Most importantly, you must learn not to blame yourself for wanting to talk. There is no shame in seeking comfort and support from loved ones.
November 9th, 2015 1:13am
I have attempted to open up to one person I felt safe with. They let me know I wasn't alone. Just having that one person accept what had happened let me move on, and feel more confident. I was able to branch out and trust closer friends until I accepted what had happened.
March 29th, 2016 6:48pm
Thats why we are here on 7 cups. We dont judge you. We are here to help you figure out whats best for you in your situation