Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

My father in law hit my mother in law in front of my husband (their son) and I. Everyone has forgiven my father in law (the mother, my husband) but I haven't. Am I being too tough?

4 Answers
Last Updated: 02/22/2021 at 5:22pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Mexico
Moderated by

Paola Giordani, Psychoanalyst

Licensed Psychoanalyst

I have helped and am helping people cope with loss, divorce, anguish and parenting. Depression is also a major issue that comes up.

Top Rated Answers
SimplyyWaves
February 22nd, 2021 5:22pm
No, you are not being too tough. If this is how you feel about the situation and you truly don´t want to forgive him, you don´t have to, not at all because this is your choice. If you feel what was done doesn´t deserve to be forgiven, then don´t. I know your family is going to think you are too tough or mean to him, but this is your choice, not theirs. I hope this helps a bit, I know it must feel confusing or even feel a bit bad for feeling like this, but you should validate your own feelings I hope it works out
PhoenixAsh
November 11th, 2017 5:44am
I can imagine that would've been really upsetting to witness, and it must be tough to see people forgiving your father in law for such an action. If you don't feel ready to forgive him, that's okay - it might take time, it might never happen - follow what feels comfortable for you. Perhaps you could speak to your husband about what you've been feeling about the situation and he might be able to work through your feelings with you.
DelicateButterfly78
August 14th, 2018 3:27am
Absolutely not! No one should have to deal with being physically assaulted. That is telling you husband it is okay to hit you, which is wrong. Don't worry about being too tough because you're not being too tough.
Anonymous
December 9th, 2019 10:46pm
I think that it depends on whether or not this has happened more than once or in excessiveness. If it has then I think that it's perfectly fine that you haven't forgiven him. If this is the only time this has happened, I understand, although I think that it shouldn't happen again. While you might be acting a bit too tough, I believe that you have every reason too. Forgiveness for something like this can take time, and you should feel free to take all the time you need, as long as it doesn't happen again, then I think that you should get some help.