Why can't I just let go of my trauma?
Last Updated: 11/20/2017 at 7:02am
Jui Shankar, Ph.D
My worldview offers a systems perspective that values diverse clients and their struggles. I believe supportive and nonjudgmental therapeutic relationships empower clients.
Top Rated Answers
Sometimes people have a hard time of letting go of the past. I assume it is because (at least in my case) the past has made me a stronger woman. If the events that happened to me did not happen, I never would have found this site and never have become a listener. The past damaged me but in the end it made me a stronger person.
In some cases traumatic experiences scare us for life, it is trauma because it has affected us badly in some way either physically or emotionally and sometimes it can affect our day to day lives. This can make it difficult to let go of trauma. Remember everyone takes a different amount of time to heal.
I believe trauma relates a lot to the pain we feel - emotional, mental, spiritual n physical. Our body is designed to register the pain. Although a situation may be over, the trauma still stays and it can be apparent when we meet new people or situations that reminds us of the traumatic experience we had. Most of the time letting go requires you to accept that it had happened and forgive the person (and most importantly yourself) to make peace with it. Not only it requires courage but guidance, a good support system and a change of mindset (e.g.: you're worthy, beautiful, amazing) to take the slow steps in letting go of the trauma. We tend to subconsciously self-sabotage ourselves through the trauma we experienced.
The answer to this is actually really simple. Because it's trauma. Trauma is defined as a deeply distressing or disturbing experience, so of course it isn't going to be something you're ever going to forget. It's not something you're easily going to let go and get over. It takes a lot of work to get over a traumatic experience. A lot of people associate a negative connotation with the work "work" but work makes you stronger! All the pain and suffering from this trauma is something you have to work through, but in return, you will come out a stronger and much wiser person.
I do not think it is possible to "let go" of it. It might stay with you forever, in the back of your mind. But you can start to feel better once you are able to accept the fact that it happened. Once you can accept it, you will feel a lot better. For some people, this can takes a month. For others, it can take years.
Trauma is something you have work through, to get it over with. A trauma is usually a very big impact to your life, which makes it take time to heal. Work with it, and eventually you'll learn to live with your trauma.
It can be difficult to let trauma go. These things can stick with us for a long time. But what are you doing now to continue on?
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