Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

A family member passed away. How can I cope knowing that I'll never see them again?

44 Answers
Last Updated: 05/25/2021 at 11:12pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Kajsa Futrell, RTC


I specialise in respectfully helping people navigate their way through trauma and relationship issues. The adversities in our life can actually transform us.

Top Rated Answers
August 17th, 2015 6:26am
I lost my father at age 11. I think that overtime you just learn to deal with the fact that they are never coming back. As tough as it was to go through, I am glad that I went through it because it taught me to never take anything or anyone for granted, and to live each moment like it was my last. You can never prepare for loosing someone you love dearly, or someone that you were very close to. The best thing I can tell you is that with time comes healing and acceptance. Reminding yourself of the person you lost each day is something that will help them live on and can help you move on. We think that pushing the memories of the person we lost away is the best way to grieve, but sometimes letting ourselves remember them is how we can learn to live without them. Knowing that you were lucky enough to live in a world that they simply existed in was something I struggled with, but eventually faced and accepted. Just know you will see them again someday. They physically might have left you, but their spirit lives on through your memories of them.
June 17th, 2015 8:45am
I think the first step towards coping is acceptance; accept your feelings. Take part in Memorial services and other traditions as they will help you come to grasp the fact that your loved one is gone. Also, these services are a ceremony to honor the person that just passed away, it would be nice to be around other people who knew the loved one. That thought itself would be comforting. The second is to preserve their memories, don't try to forget the person, remember them. Go to places that remind you of them and do things that make you miss them, this will help you get comfortable with the idea of their absence.
October 29th, 2014 1:19pm
You just have to think of all the good times that you've had with them. How that just because they passed away doesn't mean they don't love you anymore because they do. You have to think of their benefit in death. That they aren't in pain anymore, they're better, happier, and healthier. They will always love you and they always be watching over you. You two will be forever in each other hearts.
June 29th, 2015 7:38pm
both my parents have passed away my mum when I was 19 and my father when I was 39 at first it was hard, especially with my mum I took that really hard, but later on life I used to think when I saw a butterfly that was my mum or dad passing by to make sure I was ok, or if I saw a white feather which I find occasionally there they were again. I beleive that people who pass are around we just cant see them some people think thats a strange way to see things but it gives me comfort. So look for butterflys and smile because they are there looking out for you.
July 3rd, 2017 9:45pm
You don't necessarily have to learn to cope with that as it's not a proven fact. Some believe (including me) that you WILL see them again. I truly believe they are still with us, just in a different form. You can still talk to that person, I believe they hear you. You may feel their presence at times. And it's ok to grieve and be sad - it's a terrible loss and a very hard thing to deal with. But I don't believe anything is final, and I believe they don't want you suffering over this - they want you to know they are with you and will see you again someday. In the meantime, try to do things in their honor that would make them happy and it might just bring you some happiness, too!
May 22nd, 2018 8:03pm
Remember that they are still with you in your heart and in your memory. Keep them alive by remembering the good times you have shared
April 16th, 2015 5:06pm
When people die, they're often ill, depressed, in pain or have a mental illness. When they die under these circumstances, they've finally found peace and are no longer in pain. They may not be physically with you any more but they live on in your memories. That's who they'd want you to remember them as; what they did with their life and who they came to be, not what happened within the last moments of their life.
December 15th, 2015 9:53am
I'm sorry to hear that. But I think you should consider that they are in a good place now called heaven. :)
December 28th, 2015 12:44am
Losing a family member is one of the hardest things in the world. I am very sorry for your loss and i pay my respects. It is very hard to know that we might never see their physical form ever or experience their physical presence as we do with other people. There are many ways one is able to cope with this, so i am very glad you asked. One good idea may be to talk or share with others that are going through the same as you. May be another idea is to do activities that you enjoy. To do things that may be you have never done before , and you have wanted to. You can write, writing is very therapeutic, you write about the family member or other things as well. Music, sports etc. Animals , if you have pets , sharing with them and playing and cuddling with them can also be therapeutic. This is always something you may do
November 12th, 2014 4:42pm
Everyone copes differently with grief. It's immensely hard knowing that the person you could reach out and touch and talk to at a whim is gone. The only thing I've ever found that helps is talking about it to a loved one. Share stories about your family member and remember the good times. It will hurt, but with time you become accustomed to the concept that they are gone. Always remember there are people out there who will listen to you.
November 3rd, 2014 7:48am
Sorry for your loss.I know you are in a strange place.Stay strong it gets better. Honor that person and cherish them so they will continue to live in you heart. We only label death "bad" because we do not understand it. You can not change what happened or what will happen to us all, BUT you can manage and control how you live right know. Think about why you feel this way ? What does that person mean to you? What did you learn from them? ( directly or indirectly) I know it sounds hard but if you explore this new perception you are in you will realise beautiful things. Tl;DL Be the best person you can for the living and cherish the dead and let them live forever within you. Have no regrets. Much love & good luck :)
June 17th, 2015 5:32pm
Think about whag they would have wanted you to do in such a situation...they loved you so probably they will always want you be strong enough to face the reality...and also its not thaf you have lost all of them they lie inside you ....your love for them is a thing that keeps them alive in do what they would have wanted from sucessful...and always remeber they loved you
October 31st, 2014 1:47am
It is very hard to cope with the loss of someone close to you, especially if you didn't have a chance to say goodbye. A helpful thing to keep in mind is even though the grief is raw and intense at the moment, time will help heal the pain. Taking time to reflect on the good times you had with your family member is important. You loved them, so you will probably always miss them. Take some time to look after yourself and come to terms with this big life change.
January 30th, 2018 6:04am
I am so sorry for your loss. First, you can feel however you want to feel right now, and cope in all the ways that seem to work. You may have reactions that will surprise you (like inappropriate humor?) and you may go through loops, where the sadness burns hot at unexpected times. Psychologically, grief has many stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Knowing that you are experiencing a phenomenon that others have experienced may at some points bring comfort, but also know that your loss is completely unique, and that you do get the honor of responsibly cherishing the memory of your beloved family member who is no longer with us. Religious communities (if that is your thing) may offer ritual, philosophy, and community practices that you can try on for size for coping; but even secularly, I offer these ideas to try 1) mark and memorialize special time having to do with this family member, special moments you had with them, and time since their death 2) explore a method of communication with them/your memory of them that feels connecting for you 3) connect with people who also knew them, and learn what you can about their life and their memory so you have more to chew on as time goes by. Wishing you and your family all my best.
October 3rd, 2014 5:12am
Dealing with the loss of a family member is always difficult, especially if that person was significant in your life. I lost my father as a young girl and it was heartbreaking, frustrating, and left me angry at the world. This is okay. It is okay to have these overwhelming feelings. It takes time to grieve. It's not something that will go away easily. Take time, cherish the memories, and keep fighting.
April 23rd, 2015 6:02pm
Remember that they live on in you and everyone else they influenced. Your personality, memories, and dreams are shaped by them.
September 25th, 2014 10:58am
Losing a loved one is always upsetting. It can feel daunting and scary at times, because you realise you'll never see them again, but finding ways to cope can help greatly. Some people like to think of it as just the thought that the family member had moved away. At least immediately, it makes dealing with the loss a little more comprehendible.
November 4th, 2014 4:03am
Live like they are still there in your presence, dont dwell, because they wouldn't want to see you like that.
November 11th, 2014 7:02pm
Firstly, you will have to accept that you will not see them again. They are at peace now though, and take comfort in the fact that you were in their life and that they were in yours.
November 14th, 2014 8:39pm
On the religious side prayer always comfort our hearts. Keep their memory alive and they will always feel present. :)
November 17th, 2014 1:39am
One of the best ways to cope is to think of the good times you had with them, and even write them in a journal so you can read them later.
January 19th, 2016 12:50am
It is the law of nature. One who has come to this earth will go from this earth. You can stop someone from coming into your life but you cant stop some one from going. The fact that some body goes from your life forever is very heartbreaking. But life must go on. You have to be strong and do it what it takes to move on. Think what he/she would want from you if he/she were still with you.
October 8th, 2018 3:04pm
I personally coped with the heartbreak by realizing that he is in a better place. My cousin passed away from a motorcycle accident. It was unexpected and broke my heart, but I can still feel him with me. I know he may physically be gone, but the love I have for him is forever with me. He was and continues to be my best friend and rock. I pray for him every night and visit his resting place to tell him about my life. I made a vow to live my life for the both of us, that's my way of keeping his spirit alive.
October 14th, 2014 3:25am
Focus on the wonderful memories you have of them. Try to focus less on the fact that they'll be gone and more on the wonderful times you spent with them while they were here. Know that things happen for a reason and although it may seem like they shouldn't have gone so quickly, it shows us just how dear life is. Hang on to the memories and love them fiercely, but also accept. It's a hard time and you're not alone.
October 23rd, 2014 9:55pm
Losing someone is hard, but with time things will get better. But with support of family and friends the transition should be a little easier.
October 28th, 2014 9:40am
Think of the happy memories and all the things you have done with them..It will seem to come alive again
November 7th, 2014 9:14pm
spend time with family and friends. they are the best support system you can have. In time things will get easier.
March 22nd, 2015 12:05am
Remembering the good times is the best way. It be cliche, but it is a great way to coming to terms with their death.
May 23rd, 2015 12:33pm
From my experience. Going somewhere in nature with your friends and let them condolence you, but first of all take a deep breath because these things happen and we cannot change, but we can do our best to remember them who have given you joys and lessons throughout your life and be grateful about it.
November 9th, 2015 11:24pm
you have to stay strong and keep moving forward. there was nothing you could have done and if they were struggling, then hey are in a better place now