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How can I change how my family feels about me? I'm treated like the black sheep.

107 Answers
Last Updated: 10/20/2020 at 3:17am
How can I change how my family feels about me? I'm treated like the black sheep.
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Catherine Davis, I aim to help you to beat your blues and to feel empowered. Fast and effective psychotherapy.


Hello. I'm Catherine. I am a psychotherapist. It's my aim to help you beat your blues and to feel empowered.

Top Rated Answers
July 2nd, 2016 1:41am
Talking to them about how you're feeling is a good idea. Expressing that you feel a certain way might bring it light. They may not realize they treat a certain way. Communication is usually the best idea!
July 3rd, 2016 8:55pm
Feeling like the black sheep of the family can be frustrating and depressing. You can change the way your family feels about you by communicating. Open up to them about how you feel. But you should know, it's not always possible to change someone's mind.
July 8th, 2016 3:01pm
Have you identified anything that could be causing you to be treated in this way? If not, maybe ask someone what they think of you... If so, consider whether it is something you can compromise on - maybe they let you be you in exchange for you changing something else... If you want to understand what their issue is with you, maybe ask someone who won't attack you, but rather give you a direction so that you can decide whether you should change yourself, or help others understand that you shouldn't have to.
July 9th, 2016 3:11am
You can start by analyzing why you feel like the "black sheep". Once that's done, you can work on solving those problems/issues. If that doesn't help or you do not find any actual issues, you can always talk to your family about how you feel. Honesty and communications are always the key in those situations!
July 13th, 2016 12:34am
Being treated like a black sheep is not nice :( perhaps talk to them or confront them and explain how you feel?
July 22nd, 2016 12:50am
I suppose the real question is why they view as different from them? It's important to not sacrifice your sense of self but understandable you'd want to 'fit in'; try to find a balance between the two by answering the real question..
July 28th, 2016 10:38pm
Well talk to yoir parents about it tell them how you feel and make tjem understand how you been feeling
July 30th, 2016 3:50am
I can relate. I am treated like the black sheep in my family too. I just continue being who I am and not allow another person to define me. Also, when you deal with them, deal with them with love and kindness. Eventually, they will see how wonderful you are. If they don't, it won't matter because you will see how wonderful you are and that's all that matters.
July 30th, 2016 7:43pm
You are one of a kind clearly! You don't need to fit in, find your own self and interests. Popularity will follow with confidence and self-security.
August 3rd, 2016 1:53pm
Me too, but we will survive it. Be yourself but don't be annoying to others, take a step back - we are not always where we come from.. some of us are different than the people around us but we all need to co-exist in some kind of harmony.
August 5th, 2016 4:13am
I know it's hard to feel that way. You should start by giving yourself some time to think this thru. Then when your certain you want to talk to them you should sit down maybe have a meal and start by telling them how you feel. If they don't understand you then you should ask them why they do this.
August 7th, 2016 5:15pm
You can't control your family's feels, but you can control yourself, treat yourself with full respect, the respect you wanted to see in their eyes.
February 7th, 2017 4:21pm
Be kinder to yourself. Once you love yourself more others will too. Your family will see this and respect you more.
July 11th, 2017 6:52am
You shouldn't go through life wanting to change people's feelings about you, you can only change yourself.
November 7th, 2017 1:45pm
I know how this feels , as a person who always had different views , values and priorities than the others , I was always left out in my family. Remember that no matter what , you should never change yourself just for others to accept you. What you can do is to sometimes compromise and if you can , focus on what you and the others in the family have in common, and try to build a more harmonious relationship. If they won't try too however , it is not your fault. It is their loss , and you can find wonderful people to be like a second , true family.
July 28th, 2020 1:23am
Well, this is a very hard situation to be in. I think that trying to understand the why is the first step, I think. Trying to work it out, the second step, if it truly is something you can change and agree to change. After trying to work things out and if it's something personally attacking you... unfortunately there's little one can do. And that's a very hard position to be in, but you have got to remember that sometimes family is the one you choose not your blood veins. So seek help from your friends, or communities online. Good luck!
October 20th, 2020 3:17am
Hi! Welcome to 7 cups! I hear that you are worried about how your family feels about you. Feeling like your family views you as the black sheep must feel very hurtful. Have you tried to talk to your family about your concerns? Sitting down with family, allowing yourself to be honest and vulnerable to them, may give them more clarity as to how you feel when they treat you in certain ways. It could be possible that your family is not aware of the impact they are having on you. If you do sit down and have an honest heart to heart talk with your family with the intention of creating solutions, and you later discover that your family will not make themselves available to listen to your concerns and feelings with authenticity, you may have to accept the difficult realization that your family may never change how they feel about you or how they treat you. The truth is, none of us can control what others think and feel about us. We can try to negotiate and speak with kindness and empathy to them, with the intention to heal and reconnect the relationship, but sometimes people, even family members, are simply not capable of this kind of loving communication. I agree, this reality is very disappointing, but the good news is, now you understand your family's behavior and you have the freedom to meet new like minded people who will treat you the way you would like to be treated. Those new friends could very possibly become a better support system for you than family. We naturally have expectations of positive support from our own family, but I have come to learn, family members are sometimes not ready or able to give you the support you need.