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How can I deal with my mother who has depression?

16 Answers
Last Updated: 11/02/2021 at 4:09pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Brenda King, PsyD

Psychologist

I treat life changes, women’s issues, and issues of aging using evidence-based treatments with healthy doses of warmth, empathy and humor to enhance healing and growth.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
October 25th, 2016 9:34pm
Try to do your best to be understanding and comforting to her, realize that maybe you can't fix everything for her but you can be a shoulder to lean on.
dearlybeloved
January 15th, 2018 6:04pm
Always let her know, and show, how much you love her. Maybe seek professional help for her, if she would like it.
QueenBoss
April 2nd, 2015 1:49pm
You have to be supporting and understanding. See things through her eyes, but don't criticize her. Try to encourage her to think out loud with you, and walk step by step with her through her mental processes. This will help you spot what is causing her anxiety or negative feelings. It would also be a help if you could brush up on basic cognitive symptoms of depression because understanding the cause makes it easier to treat. For example, people with depression usually exhibit dichotomous thinking, so you can help your mother by explaining (using simple, everyday examples) that the world is actually more varied and accepting than she thinks. If this is communicated well to her, it will help her deal with her anxieties more efficiently.
Anonymous
April 4th, 2015 3:38am
Continually show her that you support her, lend an open ear, listen to her thoughts and concerns. Show her that she is not alone and don't trivialize her struggle.
Anonymous
July 28th, 2015 11:47pm
Having a family member with depression can be hard on everyone in the family. Be as supportive as you can, but remember that her depression is not your fault. If you need to, seek therapy or help for yourself!
amazingGrace99
September 8th, 2015 4:47am
Be supportive, but set clear boundaries which respect yourself. In caring for others, self care and awareness of your own limitations and needs is especially important. Also, be mindful of the triggering potential of familial relationships.
IAmGladUCame
January 4th, 2016 5:08pm
Being thoughtful, talking to her and showing her that she matters and no issue is worthless, because you want the very best for her.
iris187
March 7th, 2016 9:14pm
Stand by her no matter what. Depression makes you feel unbearably alone & sometimes push people away when you need them the most.
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2016 9:55pm
I start by talking to her and encouraging her to do daily maintenance routines, such as brushing her teeth, taking a shower, and eating some healthy foods. I take her out of the house to go on walks with me at a park. Or we have a meal together at a local restaurant. I spend as much time with her as possible to cheer her up.
Anonymous
June 6th, 2016 8:13am
Be there for her, show her you love her. Take her out for dinner, or somewhere in the park. Make her feel young again, take her to shopping together (no matter if you're boy/girl) just tell her she looks great and say thank you after every meal,say thank you for everything she's been doing for you since you were born :)
Greatlistener87
August 1st, 2016 1:50am
As long as she is taking her meds and seeing a professional therapist/counselor every once in a while she should be fine. As for you this will be hard because you will take up the role of making sure she does just that to get better so that in the long run it will be better for you.
WorkInProgress11
October 10th, 2016 8:30pm
It can be really hard to have a family member or loved one go through depression. Often, we feel helpless because we want to be able to do something to make it better. Unfortunately, we can't "fix" other people. The good news is that just simple things like listening and being there for them can help them to a certain extent. When the person suffering is a caregiver, it's easy sometimes to resent them for not being there for you like they used to be. In these times, we have to try to empathize. It always helps to have someone else to talk to or vent to if you need to.
Anonymous
October 11th, 2016 5:42pm
Dealing with a loved one that is facing depression can be quite challenging. First and foremost, you have to be very patient with that person. You also have to show that person that you care and let them know that you are there for them. Talk to them about what's wrong and if after talking about it things still don't get better, suggest that they seek professional help!
miraculousHeart73
April 24th, 2018 12:16am
You have to understand your mother is dealing with negative thoughts and feelings. So don't get mad if the situation is a bit aggravating. Be the example on how to feel at the moment. Remind her what to be happy and thankful for. This will take time, she might have a situation that is pulling her down, and she might need someone to talk to. If anything, ask a good friend or family member of hers to help her out. If she has no access to anyone when she needs one, then recommend 7 Cups!
jasminehelps16
January 20th, 2020 12:18am
My best friend has depression and it's definitely not easy. You have to realize that sometimes it's not about what you say, but rather just listening or sitting with them in silence whenever they feel alone. Your first instinct will probably be to try and "fix" her but that isn't possible. Just finding little ways to show that you care such as surprising her with her favorite things, bringing her food, and helping out with things that she needs to get done but doesn't have any energy to do will go a lot further than you think it will. Remind her she can get through this and that you are there for her no matter what.
Anonymous
November 2nd, 2021 4:09pm
Listen to her whenever she wants to talk to you. She maybe nagging a lot nowadays. It is irritating. but bear with it. Don't snap at her...or talk back. Keep calm. Also behave normally with her. Some people treat people with depression as this fragile beings and that they will break if you say something wrong. That hurts. They will feel that you are treating them differently. You may be busy for sure, but if you can help a little with her chores. Talk to her from your side. Ask her what is troubling her. Go for a walk maybe. Drag her to a walk, they don't want to get out at all......but fresh air is needed. You should persuade them to see a doctor. Parents don't like seeing doctors for themselves, you have to force them to take that bitter medicine...just like they used to force you to swallow the bitter syrup. Tell her that you love her. Tell her that often.