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how can I deal with the stress of my family but still have them in my life?

10 Answers
Last Updated: 08/10/2020 at 12:37pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.

Top Rated Answers
March 1st, 2015 3:01pm
Everybody has family stress, but that still doesn't make it any less of a problem for those who have it. Let's face it- you can't choose who your family ends up being, and there is no such thing as a perfect family. Sometimes you just have to accept your family's faults and weaknesses and love them for what good qualities they have. As for family stress- the best thing to do is to talk, and to express your feelings. When you start to harbor emotions- is when all the hatred and resentment start to build up, and can start to ruin relationships. Talk about how you are feeling with your family, but also with your friends (or even a counselor if needed) to get some unbiased advice. Sometimes talking and sharing is the best remedy.
April 8th, 2015 10:54pm
What has worked for me is learning to forgive them for not understanding my stuff. Realising that they haven't walked a mile in my shoes so they can't know why I behave the way I do. We agree to disagree and although it's rough, they are finally starting to meet me half way. When it gets too much I back up for a while. And go back to dealing with them when I'm calm and able to be rational.
May 18th, 2015 10:47am
You do it by taking responsible for your own emotions and reactions. When we feel, blame or attribute that people are making us feel a certain way, it's then that we have lost our power. I've been working on this for years. I've held great hatred towards my father. However as I work through those emotions and take responsibility for how I feel, try to see why I feel this way, what is it in my father that is a reflection of me, that I'm blaming him for. My dad's no perfect, but when I started to hate him less, I saw a lot more positivity and it's helped not only my emotional state, but my relationship with him as well.
May 31st, 2015 3:14pm
Remember things will get better. We all have our struggles but if we keep our head held high and keep moving forward, we will see our life turning out not too bad after all. Family is all we have in the end there is no love stronger (:
September 6th, 2015 7:51pm
It depends if you are underage or an adult. If you are still being taken care of by your family then its going to be hard to separate yourself from them at this time. You can do the best you can to deal with the situations as they come. Also you can talk with them, or try to dismiss yourself if you feel you are in a stressful situation. If you are not with your family, but you still feel stressed, you are in the position to deal with them as you wish. You can visit as you want to or need to, and you can leave when you want to or need to. You can also talk to them too to let them know how certain situations make you feel. And you can dismiss yourself during times you feel uncomfortable. Good luck.
September 24th, 2015 1:06am
Talk to them about what makes you feel stressed. Try and open up to them, this way they are able to know what is going on, help you through it and understand that you still want them in your life because you are asking them to help you deal with your stresses
June 28th, 2016 3:59pm
Family members mean well but sometimes ( especially when you are the person who everyone feels like they can depend on) they can take a toll on our emotional well being. It's important to set boundaries with them while reaffirming that you still love them and want them in your life. Set clear guidelines on what you can and cannot have in your life ( such as topics of conversation that are off limits, certain triggers that should not be allowed, etc) and have them agree to them. Ensuring that you are taken care of is the only way to ensure that the family dynamic continues to work, each piece has to function, once piece cannot take the weight of all the other will break. Allow yourself to set rules and boundaries.
April 23rd, 2018 2:10am
Hmm... depends on how they stress you out. I know that forgiveness can go a long way, especially since forgiveness is not because they deserve to be forgiven but instead you deserving peace. If it's just because they annoy you, I suggest trying to talk a few things out with them.
April 20th, 2020 8:01pm
It is often difficult to manage the stress of family. Just try to keep positive and remember that your family is there for you and they love you. It is important to keep them in your life, despite the stress. Try to explain to them some of the stress you are experiencing. It is amazing how just letting others know how we feel can change our difficult times. Everyone experiences the stress of family; you are not alone in this. We are here to support you in any way possible. I would be happy to guide you through anything specific if needed!
August 10th, 2020 12:37pm
Learn to take on board that stresses will only make you stronger, and help you on the path to your own success. Nobody is perfect, and the sooner you embrace that, the happier you will be. Don't feel afraid to take time away, time to yourself. It will all be okay. There are so many things to be happy and optimistic about, please don't let the stresses get to you. If you can, speak to other people who aren't in your family. They may be able to give a third person perspective. Don't suffer in silence. Family should be and can be everything