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How can I escape and avoid arguments?

16 Answers
Last Updated: 01/23/2017 at 11:16am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Brenda King, PsyD

Psychologist

I treat life changes, women’s issues, and issues of aging using evidence-based treatments with healthy doses of warmth, empathy and humor to enhance healing and growth.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
May 17th, 2015 4:45am
Sometimes escaping or avoiding an argument means addressing the issue. Listen to what the other person is trying to say; try to be open to what they are trying to communicate to you so that you can better understand what it is that they are saying and feeling. If you don’t understand why the person is upset or angry it is ok to ask them to explain anything you don’t understand. Show the person that you heard their feelings and concerns. When another person is angry or wanting to argue it is important to know your own feelings. This will allow you to express your own thoughts, feelings, and beliefs without hurting yourself or the other person, expressing yourself in a pro-social way. Negotiate; the resolution should be mutually acceptable to both of you. Wanting to avoid or escape arguments is understandable and sometimes it is necessary, but sometimes avoiding or escaping them only makes them larger in the long run.
Anonymous
December 22nd, 2015 12:39am
Just tell the person you're about to argue with that you're not ready to talk about things yet and promise him a time and place for you to talk about your problems quietly.
Alethiology
February 8th, 2016 3:48pm
Try not to get involved in their matters. Even if they're wrong, and you know it, tell them they're right and move on.
BooishMonkey
August 30th, 2016 2:10am
Very difficult task to accomplish as everyone has an opinion. In the workplace and social situations try to avoid bringing up topics of religion and or politics. Stay calm when others seem to be on edge when they are speaking about certain subjects. If a topic begins that is known to cause arguments it is more than fine to switch subjects.
Anonymous
January 14th, 2015 7:10am
I do not think good flee the problems then try to understand and make better arguments to talk...
Anonymous
January 16th, 2015 3:55pm
Before deciding to avoid an argument, ask yourself: Should I be avoiding this argument or changing my approach? Depending on the context of the argument, it might not be an issue you can escape, so changing your approach may improve the situation more than avoidance. It is also important to understand the motivations and feelings of whomever you're in conflict with. Perhaps there is an unresolved issue that the two of you haven't discussed that is contributing to the arguments. You could ask yourself a few questions to gauge the issue: + How do I feel about the situation? Why do I feel this way? + What does the other person seem to feel? Why might they feel this way? + Have I explicitly asked that person how they feel and why? Have I communicated my own feelings clearly and calmly? + When the other person talks in an argument, how do I respond? Do I immediately become defensive or offensive? + What tone do I use in an argument? + Are the arguments resolved or unresolved? What could I do to prevent these types of arguments in the future? Is there a plan I could discuss with the other person in a respectful way?
Geveda
February 8th, 2015 4:11pm
Sometimes you can figure out compromises with people, like looking to see when another person is starting to get mad and trying to calm the situation before it gets out of hand. But sometimes people won't allow that to be an option. I know I've come across some people in my life who no matter how hard I've tried to cooperate with them, they'll argue so I've just had to cut them out of my life. It was hard, but it helped me feel a little more at peace in the end.
LunaRose
April 4th, 2015 9:35pm
A good way of escaping arguments is to clearly get your point across, in a sensible and calm manner, and avoid shouting and hostility at all costs. This will create a calmer atmosphere and will not encourage another person to argue with you.
goldenPeace97
April 8th, 2015 4:59pm
by keeping quiet and examining whether that argument is worth arguing and wasting your time or not..ask questions like this..and you will be able to avoid the situation...
PashT007
April 11th, 2015 3:21am
Know when people are ready to argue and leave before things get heated. I'm sure that there are signs when people want to argue and at the very moment you notice this, leave.
TheLovableSunshine
May 16th, 2015 7:39pm
Just tell the person you're about to argue with that you're not ready to talk about things yet and promise him a time and place for you to talk about your problems quietly.
MyPassionIsToHelp
August 25th, 2015 5:29am
try to understand the other persons perspective, although you might not agree its okay to have a difference in opinion or view, its about understanding and finding a common ground
tjb28
December 1st, 2015 3:09pm
One way i avoid arguments is to talk about the way i feel before I get angry.Learn to listen to your body.
Shikamaru42
December 22nd, 2015 3:00am
In the long run, you can't if you truly want to live. As a short-term cure for single cases however, consider that most arguments are based on misunderstandings. Listen and try your best to stay calm and polite, still making your points where necessary. Rule of thumb: Seek to understand before you seek to be understood ;)
Greatlistener87
April 26th, 2016 6:36am
You can come up with a solution instead, suggest ways to solve the issue rather then argue about it. If that does not work you are always allowed to excuse yourself.
Anonymous
January 23rd, 2017 11:16am
Arguments tend to release a lot of negative energies. In order to escape and avoid it, be mindful of your thoughts and actions. Make sure you try to release everything with the right calmness and understanding. If someone is pushing you to an argument you didn't even ask for, be sure you approach it with pre-argument good vibes - close your eyes and take deep breaths. I'm sure you'll know how to and not to respond.