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How can I escape the abuse of my father when he is drunk ?

20 Answers
Last Updated: 12/08/2020 at 3:27am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Polly Letsch, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.

Top Rated Answers
April 5th, 2015 3:52pm
What I would suggest is call someone or lock yourself in your room. I personally found it easier to call someone about my dad so it's an idea.
April 30th, 2015 8:03pm
Please reach out to people around you. Counsellors at school, teachers, the police. Whether or not you're underage is irrelevant, your father has no right to treat you this way. If you're under 18, you can be placed with friends or family members in order to keep you safe. If you're over 18, there are Victim Advocates at police stations that can help you find affordable housing and employment. Please keep yourself safe!
May 15th, 2015 6:15pm
To escape the abuse of your father when he is drunk, you should really call either 911 (if it is serious and you are scared for your life or being hurt) or the Domestic Violence Hotline and talk to someone to help you through the time. You should find help immediately at the least.
January 25th, 2015 8:28pm
You need to report this, you need to be safe. Nothing you do can stop it. Only think that will stop it will be him stop drinking
January 26th, 2015 4:48pm
Try to lock yourself in somewhere away from him, or stay away as much as possible. You can even try Child Abuse hotlines if it gets hard for you. Always keep someone in the know about what's happening to you.
April 3rd, 2015 7:40am
Go to another family members house if there is one near by, stay with a friend who knows about the things that you deal with in that situation, or if you really need to, call 911 and explain what is going on.
May 22nd, 2015 5:59pm
Get help. I mean it. If your father abuses you, you need to get help. Stay away from him while he is drunk and/or abusive.
June 6th, 2015 4:14pm
Speak out about this. You need to talk to a teacher you can trust, a family member, friends, your doctor or the police. Don't keep this inside yourself, don't be alone with it, someone else needs to know so they can help you. You don't deserve the abuse.
June 10th, 2015 6:02am
I would recommend contacting local authorities, Child Protective Services, or other related agencies to insure your safety and the safety of others in the household.
August 24th, 2015 9:41am
That is such a tough situation to be in. I would say that above all else, your safety is of the utmost importance. Do all you can to try and physically remove yourself from the danger, whether it be going to another person's house you feel is safe (a relative, friend, etc.) if you are in immediate danger. You could also call Emergency services if you feel that it warrants an intervention. In the long term, you could access resources or services that can assist you in getting you out of the environment. You shouldn't have to tolerate feeling unsafe in your own house.
Anonymous - Expert in Family Stress
November 27th, 2015 12:56am
Get out of that area and put yourself in a safe place - maybe a neighbour's house, in your bedroom or in a locked room. Call someone you trust whether that be a parent, neighbour or police. And keep your head low and don't get into confrontation.
May 9th, 2016 7:44am
You can raise it to him and your mum that if he continues to do so u are going to report the abuse to a higher authority. If they do not change or do something about it.
May 16th, 2016 2:01am
Find a good friend of the family someone your father trusts and stay with them leave a note stating where you are anc explain to the friend what is going on in some cases they can call the authorities to keep you safe
May 23rd, 2016 6:38am
Tell someone. I understand you love them, but telling someone can truly help because abuse is something you shouldn't stand for.
May 9th, 2017 11:06pm
If your father is abusing you when drunk then you need to reach out to somebody. Ideally the police or social services - they will be able to put safeguarding measures in place. Most of all, realise that you do not deserve his - reach out
July 10th, 2017 7:43pm
I completely understand what you are going through. I too was abused by my father. The best thing to do is find a support system. I know how terrifying it is to deal with him and to trust others enough to tell them about it. In fact, it's taken 2 years for me to talk with people at my church about it. Its all about finding the right person/people who will drop everything and pick you up and comfort you until your dad can sober up and calm down. When you find a support system, you will find that it gets easier. Having someone their to constantly remind you and build you up is amazing. If you don't feel comfortable going to the police, and you want to stay confidential, find someone outside of your family (or inside it you trust them) that you trust and who will be your mentor.
January 9th, 2018 12:51am
If it's physical, call the police. If not, it's just as serious, but see if you can relocate. Remember, always, that it is not your fault.
January 21st, 2019 6:58am
If it is at all possible, reach out to someone who can remove you from this harmful and dangerous environment. It's not in your best interest to remain with your father while he's battling with alcoholism. If your father abuses you, perhaps reach out to CPS or a similar service. If you are caught in the middle of one of his drunken rages, phone the police. If it's possible, perhaps you can live with a friend or family member with whom you feel more safe.
February 11th, 2020 6:00am
When a person is drunk or intoxicated they loose control on themselves and often are violent and abusive. If you encounter such a behavior from your father who you live with you need to tackle the cause of the problem. Addiction is a common concern for many. You need to get help for your father's addiction problem. Convince your father when he is not drunk that he needs help that will help him over come his addiction problem. I am a listener at 7 Cups, you need to connect with a therapist from 7 Cups who will help you. It works out well and most people are able to come out of it successfully.
December 8th, 2020 3:27am
I empathize with what you're going through. I'd say to just lock yourself in a room and hide. If he tries to get physical I would reach out to the authorities if you so choose to. There are many people struggling with alcohol abusers. Sometimes it can bring out the worst in some. Depends on the individual. Maybe you should contact someone that does AA meetings and mention you'd want to be anonymous because you are afraid of retaliation in the sense that he might hurt you. You want to be safe in the whole situation. Safety first ! But in the meantime, hide in a room if you could. It's a bittersweet type of thing because you dont have to engage with whomever avoid disruptions.