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How can I get my parents to stop yelling at me for everything?

159 Answers
Last Updated: 06/02/2022 at 4:16am
1 Tip to Feel Better
India
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Smita Joshi, BA Psychology / MA / Advanced EFT Practitioner

Counselor

I am empathetic with my Clients going through emotional overwhelm and passionate in helping them. I am supportive, openminded & interactive in helping my clients.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
May 18th, 2018 5:24am
Tell them how you feel about it. Remind them that they do not control your life and you are entitled to do what you want without them yelling at you.
Anonymous
May 19th, 2018 5:51pm
Tell them how it makes you feel.And if that doesn’t help try telling an trusted adult or friend about why there yelling at you
Beautifuldreamer98
June 30th, 2018 4:47pm
Telling them~ The day I finally cracked and told my parents to stop, they got a huge shock and somehow did stop...
Anonymous
July 7th, 2018 7:49am
Sit down with them in a calm manner and talk to them about how you feel about them yelling at you. Ask them why they yell at you and try and see both sides.
Shriya546
July 16th, 2018 7:12pm
You should try explaining yourself to them. Sit down with them and explain yourself and ask them what exactly they expect you to do. If their expectations are just not what you want to do, try to tell them that
faithjackson
July 20th, 2018 12:39pm
talking to them. communication is not as easy as it sounds, but really you need to let out tour feel
Anonymous
July 20th, 2018 5:24pm
Try to sit them down and discuss why yelling isn't beneficial to the situation. Ask them to try and express their frustration and feelings calmly but clearly
Vanessaaamarieee
July 21st, 2018 12:39am
You can sit down and have a serious conversation with them , tell them that it’s not fair , and be honest on the way that you feel about the issue.
glisteningLion63
July 21st, 2018 6:03am
Tell them that they are upsetting you by yelling at you and that it won’t get them any where if they keep yelling at you
Anonymous
July 25th, 2018 11:45am
Tell them how they make you feel with that. If they know they hurt you they will stop it. If not you can do other steps
Teenagehelp
July 28th, 2018 3:11pm
Communication is the way you can unite with. What are they yelling you for? Do you see any things you can do better to prevent yelling?
JojoMojoHappy
August 1st, 2018 7:32pm
By simply telling them that it hurts you. If they do it again, you would need to keep reinforcing your boundaries to them as to how much you can emotionally take.
Caitlin7cups
August 9th, 2018 6:24am
Based on my experience, when we're both calm and composed I take the time to sit down and speak with them, sometimes as humans we feel like everyone is ALWAYS yelling at us for no reason whatsoever, whereas taking a step back sometimes you might see occasionally you did do something wrong, (I know I did) :)
caringFriend21
August 15th, 2018 1:39pm
I had to decide to separate myself from my parents. Since I am not around them much anymore, they don't really have anything to yell at me about. It does not seem like much of a solution but it helped me
MissLisa
August 24th, 2018 3:04pm
Being open and honest to your parents on how their actions are making you feel can have a positive impact. Often we are unaware of the consequence and impact our actions have on those around. So perhaps they are not aware just how it makes you feel whenever they yell at you. Having a calm conversation to explain this helps them become aware that they yelling is not positive. Encourage them to have calmer conversations with you being more constructive if you have done or said something that they do not think is right. This is much better communication and can be much more effective.
musicalEnergy94
September 15th, 2018 1:14am
if your parents are yelling at everything than it may be time for family council therapy because then you are all together and you will get a professional perspective. if you are not getting along try to remember a time when you were all getting along and no yelling, what worked in that situation? can it be duplicated in a current argument? if you tell your parents to stop yelling at you maybe stop and ask why are you yelling at me so much, what did i do that was so wrong? if they can't answer you then maybe you may want to spend some time away from your family when the conversation gets heated.
Anonymous
September 15th, 2018 9:59pm
Did you consider confront them about it or telling them that their yelling is causing more harm than good? How would you think it would turn out? If you did, what was their answer and why do you think it was that? Did you try to get in your shoes and do you think they tried getting in yours? What helped me about this issue was basically making them see the consequences about their behaviour: the dropping grades and my irascible mood. We talked before that but they seemed to have forgotten about the issue. Most of the parents are just trying to do their best but sometimes they misplace priorities. I confronted them and it worked. Do you think this situation could be applied to yours?
ListenerDustin
October 11th, 2018 12:43pm
I know that sometimes are child and parent relationship may be very difficult to understand from both sides. Being a parent is not easy making sure they the little human you are in charge of makes good choices, explaining what may be best and deciding how to discipline and so forth. In my experience, making time to sit down and talk with the person or group that you feel is not treating you well could have excellent benefits. I was nervous one time about something with my parents, but I did not feel comfortable speaking with them in person, so what I was able to do was write them a letter/note and let them know how I was feeling. Hope this helps!
Kenzielynn1413
October 13th, 2018 2:38am
I understand how you may be feeling. I was there once too. Talk with them and ask them how you may be able to help. Explain to them the way you feel and let them know that you don’t mean to do whatever it is they are yelling at you for. For example, if they yell at you because your room is dirty simply tell them that you are getting to it and just need some time. Tell time that yelling may be pressuring you and making you feel as if you aren’t good enough anymore. If you tell them this that may help them better understand.
hellobutler
October 21st, 2018 4:25am
Hello. I hope you are doing okay. To get your parents to stop yelling at you fro everything, you would have to communicate with them. Set a time to talk to them, to really sit down and have everyone ready to listen. You can start by asking them if it is alright to talk when they are not mad. Once you are all seated, calmly state your purpose that you are talking to them because of the instances that they yell at you. Try to do this politely and calmly. Don't forget to mention that you are only talking to communicate and not to blame or disrespect them. if they start being passive-aggressive, aggressive, defensive, or in any way make you feel uncomfortable to speak out, kindly gather the courage to tell them how they are making you feel at the moment and that you would appreciate if they hear you out. Avoid shouting or raising your voice at all cost. If you start feeling overwhelmed, take some deep breathes and try to take a step back to see where your point is going. Don't lose sight of your purpose. I hope everything goes well.
SerialThinker
November 28th, 2018 10:11am
One idea is to avoid situations you predict that causes a problem. Sometimes you can share your feelings with them and tell them how this makes you feel. You can tell them that they can tell whatever they want, in a cooled down mood and you understand what they want better this way. You can also get help from another person whom they know and trust to deliver you message. Sometimes writing a letter to them in a friendly and calm way makes this easier because when they read it, they don't necessarily react to it immediately. They have time to think and digest all you have expressed in your letter.
CaptainObviouslyOblivious
January 31st, 2019 7:51am
Honestly - the best thing you can do in this situation is to keep your own cool. I'd sit them down, or if you fear escalation, write them a letter, explaining to them that it makes you feel uncomfortable, although you're willing to have real discussions. To be fair, however, you also need to consider the circumstances - If your parents have asked you to do something repeatedly , several times before they become angry - that's just a reaction sign that they're frustrated. You have to be willing to meet someone half way to de-escalate an issue of this sort. Always try to talk it out, but know that you cannot control what another human being will do - you can only try.
Anonymous
February 24th, 2019 8:25am
Stop reacting first when they yell at you. Then reply politely. Be at your best behaviour and do your chores and tasks to the best of your abilities. Parents usually love discipline in the house and love authority. Doing this will make them happy making them less angry. You can also get some extra things or permissions granted fate you please them like going to a party or buying something. I personally have tried this and has worked out so so so many times. I really hope this works out or you too. Take care. Good luck. Hope this helps you.
MacSouLight
May 8th, 2019 7:18am
It is my belief that it you want to be treated as an adult you must conduct yourself as one. I'd try having a mature conversation with them and elaborate on how they can effectively reach you within a decibal that doesn't offend you. When they do so respond maturely and they should probably continue doing so. I'm a mother myself and that is the way I'd prefer my own son go about it. I'd respond rationally and they may do the same. give that a try maybe I'll not see how it works. The worst thing that can happen is they say no, and no might just be another way of saying and I understand we're not right now. Maybe try to see why they are raising their voice, to begin with. Everyone deserves respect.
Anonymous
June 14th, 2019 8:26pm
Remember, if they are yelling at you for everything; you are not the problem, they are. It would appear to me that the person that is yelling has the issues if it is a constant and everyday issue. I don't know your age, but I would suggest that you ask them to go to counseling with you. You should be respectful of your parents but it maybe that they are the ones with their own issues and they are taking it out on you. They may also have some anger management problems as well if they chose to use yelling as a discipline, etc.,
silentAngel23
June 27th, 2019 10:20am
Maybe you could talk to your parents about it. Might as well, see it in yourself why are they yelling at you. Make them understand that there is no need to yell you because you are listening. And also make sure that you are listening to what the are telling so that they don't have to repeat it twice. As you know, the second time makes the parents voice louder because in their perspective you are not listening to them. And so, you might misunderstood it as yelling. As you can see, listening is the best way to communicate and not misunderstood.
Falguni4782
July 12th, 2019 7:02am
The answer to this question greatly depends on how old you are. If you are a minor child then think about what triggers your parents to yell and avoid them. If possible, leave the room every time they yell at you and avoid them for long periods of time. If possible, talk with them about your feelings and ask them not to yell so much. If you are an adult and living on your own, simply tell your parents you will not tolerate them yelling and will spend less time with them until they learn to control their actions. Most moms value their time with their children. If they see that their actions are causing their children to pull back and not spend time with them, they will change their behavior.
Anonymous
September 13th, 2019 6:11pm
Unfortunately, we can't control the behavior of others. All we can really do is control our responses and reactions. What I find helpful is to remember that as long as I'm doing the best I'm able, and if someone reacts in a way which I find hurtful, then that is their problem. Unfortunately, sometimes even adults have a hard time coping and react to situations in a way that may make the matters more difficult. I would urge you to check out the coping resources on this site. At the very least you can learn self care tools to mitigate your stress. Good luck.
Jay0818
October 27th, 2019 8:26pm
Try talking it out. You'd be surprised at how many times the reason families are yelling is because of miscommunication. If talking face-to-face is something you don't want to do, texting and e-mail works just as well. If talking it out does not work, then it is time to reach out to a trusted adult so you can work it out together. A school counselor or a trusted teacher can give you advice, and as a councilor has training for these situations, they can help you by helping you communicate more effectively. Remember, communication is key to a happy and healthy household.
allthehiddenplanets
October 31st, 2019 10:37am
This must be really difficult and no doubt emotional for both you and your parents. It may help to write down what you're feeling and what you would like to change. Try also writing down how you think they're feeling and put yourself in their shoes - even if you disagree with their views and actions, it can help to understand them! Pick a time when you're all calm and ask to sit down and talk with them about it. Try to be honest with them, without accusing them, and tell them how the yelling affects you (if you don't want to say the words, you could write them a letter). Hopefully by understanding how it makes you feel, your parents will be less inclined to shout and instead to talk to you when you have a disagreement. Your parents will probably want to discuss the behavior that makes them angry - this can be a chance for you to reflect on your own choices, while still being clear that you find being yelled out stressful and counter-productive. You can always come on 7 Cups and chat when you're finding your parents hard to live with. And above all, remember that they do love you, and your parents are human too.