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How can I have a better relationship with my family?

21 Answers
Last Updated: 04/06/2021 at 7:24pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Maria Wasielewski, Master of Arts in Counseling and Guidance, University of Arizona

Licensed Professional Counselor

I am inspired when working with clients, who are facing challenging life experiences, to be able to help them to develop the needed skills to live their best possible life!

Top Rated Answers
June 11th, 2015 3:40am
Strong families can work together to establish their way of life, allowing children to have a voice in decision making and enforcing rules. However, in the initial stages and in times of crisis, adult family members must get the family to work together. Members of strong families show and talk about their appreciation for one another. Along with our need for love, our most important human need is the need for appreciation.
February 22nd, 2015 9:28pm
You can have a better relationship with your family by talking to them, by agreeing with both parties to sit down and talk about things that both of the parties dont agree with
August 11th, 2015 3:53pm
You can have a better relationship with your family by having dinner together, talking to each other often (Open communication), tell them you love them/how much they mean to you and various doing activities together for example, a picnic . *Optional: If you are religious you guys can do a family scripture study together, pray together or do a family home evening game based on the scriptures. (Whatever scripture is part of your religion but don't go through the motions try to appreciate every moment you have with your family and remember the main purpose of why you are doing everything. :) Also btw it's great that you want to have a better relationship with your family. That is the first step. I wish you the best of luck. Family means everything to me and I can see how much it means to you since you want to better your relationship with them. Cheers to a new journey :)
January 25th, 2016 8:31am
Make plans together. Have a game night once a week or simply make some tea and watch tv together. Listen to each other and take each other serious. Consider the roles each member plays in your family and in your life specifically and tell them about things you appreciate.
April 26th, 2016 2:44am
It all starts with you, give your family your time and attention by scheduling it everyday. Remember in family it takes team work and effort since all of you guys are different in your own way. So learn to understand that and work towards a better relationship.
February 22nd, 2015 9:57pm
Spend quite a bit of time with them when you can. Cook with them, watch tv with them. Anything like this
March 13th, 2015 5:53pm
Communication is key when it comes to mending relationships. Too often are family relationships hurt because no one speaks up or says what is the matter. By talking to your family, you'll be able to slowly fix the tears that might have come between you and your family.
March 18th, 2015 2:39am
It is one of the hardest things, sometimes, to speak honestly to your family, because family is often the group that holds the highest expectations for you and wants you to succeed. Often, before this communication can happen openly and natural, there needs to be a more positive bond between the family members connecting as individuals in a context other than speech. Of course, building better relationships is going to look different for every family depending on location, values, and current relationship. Think about the types of things your family appreciates. Maybe how you'd describe them to a friend. Do you identify with those values? And if so, what is considered reaffirming to people who hold those values. Participate in these reaffirming activities with your family as much as possible! For families that value education, for example, might get a kick out of taking the time to go to a new educational experience or museum. Just spending time together pursuing the same values can build some bonds that will lead to better feelings. Don't be discouraged if attempts don't seem to work at first. Planting even a suggestion can lead to some action later on. Good luck!
May 3rd, 2015 7:12pm
Any relationship, be it a friendship, a romance, your relationship with your brothers or sisters or parents - all relationships thrive on communication. To have a better relationship with your family, you should try to communicate more with them. If they upset you, if they offend you, or even if you appreciate them and enjoy their company, let them know. Encourage them to talk to you about similar things. If they are not a person who opens up well, ask them why not. Try to be a person receptive to their communication, even if it's critical of yourself. Try to be a person who can politely criticize them. Try to be the best person you can be, in the relationship and encourage them to do the same.
August 4th, 2015 6:34pm
Lets talk with ur family about your problems. Make some trips with them. Go swimming, do some sports together.
August 18th, 2015 8:32pm
Talking with your family about your feelings is a good place to start. Then also trying to understand the feelings your family members are going through.
September 28th, 2015 4:33pm
Have you tried doing something like a family night where you play games or watch a film? As this can help because you have the whole family together and you can also interact without having to spend out on expensive things.
November 20th, 2015 6:51pm
My advice would be to lean into discomfort. Often, within families, people have recurring behaviors and habits that can get on the nerves of other family members, and this can cause a tension. I have found that the best way to resolve the tension that can arise is to make a true effort to listen and offer love no matter how annoyed you feel or frustrated you are with the circumstances. When one chooses to approach a tough situation with and open mind and heart, it becomes possible to find the true root of the problem and unravel it at its core. This has greatly served me in my familial relationships.
Anonymous - Expert in Family Stress
November 27th, 2015 12:28am
Talk things out. It is so important to have communication with your family, and maybe go out together as a family so you can have some good memories together.
February 16th, 2016 10:02am
I find the way I connect better with my family is going and doing activities we enjoy together. Eating dinner out, or going to see a movie. The drive in the car always gets a good conversation going!
December 13th, 2016 6:00am
Spending time with them. You may not like them, they may not like you; but if you spend time and try your best to keep connected you'll notice better relationships. Never force yourself to do things you don't like, or feel unsafe about but stepping outside your comfort zone a little can help you grow as a person!
July 4th, 2017 4:44am
Communication is the key to any relationship and that especially includes family. Take the time to tell them how you feel about them and never take for granted the time you have with them.
July 4th, 2017 9:14pm
You should first find what you and your family have in common and engage in those activities. Maybe you and your family should explore activities and you and your family could try them to see what you both like.
February 20th, 2018 9:13am
Try having conversations. Talking does do a lot, makes them know they you can talk them. It could also make you feel like you can have support from them if needed. Have a movie night, night out or as simple as just talking about how your day was.
April 17th, 2018 12:03am
Set boundaries. Families, and all relationships, need give and take. It does not always need to be in balance every day, but definitely over time. When you find that you're in a situation where a family member is taking from you more than they're giving, over and over, let them know honestly and gently that you are not available for them to take from you anymore.
April 6th, 2021 7:24pm
Just showing up when there are family events or occasions is a good start. You may not feel like attending but try and push yourself to do so. Becoming more available and when attending a family occasion you could show more of an interest in what they have been doing or how things are going for them. Speak to people individually as well as in groups and be interactive. You can choose what you would like to disclose to your family and what you don't want to. Just because they are family doesn't give them a free pass into your entire life. I'm sure there are some things you want to keep private and to yourself and there is nothing wrong with that. The only thing I would try to remember most is to try and be age specific. After doing the pleasantries and a quick catch up about what they have been doing - be selective - not everyone will have the same interests as you but if you don't ask you won't know hey? Our families can be very surprising when you least expect it. Personally, every now and then, I like to get a small gift or something that will mean something to the person I am giving it to. You may come across an old book in a bookstore or an item in an "Op" shop that just screams their name at you. If you have the funds, maybe get them the gift and surprise them with it when they least expect it. Do it when it is just you and them and just say you saw some thing and thought of them - then present them with the gift. It doesn't need to be expensive or extravagant - they will acknowledge in some way that they know you have thought of them and they will be grateful (even if it is something they already have or wouldn't have bought for themselves!!) :)