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How can I make a decision my family doesn't support without them getting angry?

26 Answers
Last Updated: 04/10/2018 at 7:44pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Lisa Groesz, PhD


With evidenced based therapies, we find the root of the problem together to implement solutions. We all face crises, transitions, or disorders at some time.

Top Rated Answers
November 8th, 2014 4:22am
You can't change how other people think or act. Instead of worrying about them being upset, focus on what you think is best for you. When they see you thoughtfully taking control of your life, they will eventually respect you more.
September 28th, 2014 7:49pm
I think it depends on the character of the parent and how they react to news. And of course it depends on what the decision is. Either dinner or a family conference is a good place to hold it though
September 30th, 2014 1:12am
Compromise. In most situations, you have the final say in what you want to do with your life, but also take into account their perspective and meet them halfway. Explain why it is the best decision and try to help them understand.
October 30th, 2014 2:54am
Sometimes you cannot. That is the short answer. If your family does not like what you do and is in the habit of using anger to gain control and manipulate, then it may change in time or it might be something you just have to walk away from. You are your own person and unless you live your life according to who you are, you will not be happy living it according to who others want you to be when it conflicts with your own desires. If you want to do this, then there are some great ways you can learn not to get dragged into an argument. Id look through the sites courses on faulty thinking styles and Id also look into learning some mindfulness. Those things will help you not fall into the family habits or arguing.
November 18th, 2014 7:02am
Try to let them know how important it is to you and how important their support and input means to you, but ultimately you have to do what you feel is best for you
January 2nd, 2015 9:11pm
You probably can't stop some people from becoming angry, but you can explain your position. You love your family and would never want to hurt them, but you also need to do what's best for you. Explain that you care about them and that you feel strongly about this decision -- ask them to please understand even if they can't agree.
March 31st, 2015 2:26am
You can't control other people. You can only control yourself. Make the best decision possible for you.
September 6th, 2016 3:19am
Anger is just an emotion that you unfortunately cannot control in other people, however it can be minimized if you sit them down and discuss it maturely, rather then them finding out on their own
October 30th, 2014 11:49pm
Try explaining to your family why you chose that decision,and maybe they will understand. You cannot control other's feelings, but you can control your own. Make a decision that makes you happy, as long as it doesn't cause psychological or physical harm to yourself or others.
October 31st, 2014 1:08am
Part of the problem is that there's no guarantee that they won't get angry (even if you tried to only do things you thought they would support). But it may help to talk to them first about your desire for them to accept you, and your fear that they will become angry and reject you. If you're willing to be vulnerable with them, and let them know that you are concerned about them getting angry, it may smooth the way when you tell them your decision. I hope that helps. :) I think it's very brave to want to make your own choices even though there's a lot that seems to be against it.
November 4th, 2014 9:16am
You can't control whether others get angry-- even your family. The best thing you can do is explain what feelings and facts led you to your decision, and express that you hope they will accept this. If it is this tough a decision to make, you can only be doing it for your own personal happiness. Express that to them, and tell them that they should always be in support of what makes you happy. That said, if they still choose to get angry, you cannot allow that to become your problem. You are doing what is best for you, and if they can't understand that, you don't need to absorb their negativity.
November 6th, 2014 5:41pm
Try explaining to them why you want it so much and why it is so important to you. Show them that this will make you happy and I am sure this will convince them. You're family loves you and even if they don't support you all the time, they always want what's best for you. The might not understand, that not always is the right thing for you, what they want for you, but if you explain it to them in a right way they will be by your side.
November 12th, 2014 6:52am
That's like trying to milk a cow but only one percent milk out of them instead of whole. It's going to happen, it sucks, but even after they're angry it doesn't mean you can't do things to lessen the blow afterwards. Just remember, it's better to ask forgiveness than permission.
March 15th, 2015 11:45pm
Try to make your family understand that your decision will make you happy. However, if they don't understand in the end, you have to see that this is your life and you have the power to make the best of it.
April 2nd, 2015 8:05am
Knowing that you're the one who is going to suffer or enjoy the consequences of your decisions. Take the responsibility of your own life, of your pain, of your joy. You understand their anger, it's time for them to understand you.
April 9th, 2015 3:21am
The key to any relation is better communication. Talk to your family about your reasons , explain them about the inspiration behind that decision. If you are passionate enough, they will understand.
May 22nd, 2015 2:50pm
Realize that it is your decision, and yes, they're your family but it is your life. They can help you, but cannot make decisions for you.
June 30th, 2015 11:02am
Consider yourself in their shoes. Be sensitive towards their feelings. Maybe they don't support your decision because there's more story to it than you think. Be sure to ask them why it's bothering them, confront them about their concerns. And then rethink it again. If you're 100% sure it's the right decision, assure them that it'll be alright. Good luck,buddy!
January 25th, 2016 2:38am
Show them your point of view and talk to them by showing them all perspectives. By making a decision and showing them it's a good thing then it could change their mind of what they thought about it in the beginning.
June 14th, 2016 3:21am
Sitting down with your family and talking it through, you must let them know. It's your life alone.
October 3rd, 2016 5:09pm
letting them know how much it mean to you and letting them know thats not a bad thing its some thing useful. also let them know is useful for you and for your future
October 18th, 2016 12:03pm
I would first objectively state where I'm coming from and why I'm arriving at that decision. I will say I value all their inputs and their opinions and I took them into consideration. But in the end it is still my own path to take. And then give them time and space to digest it.
May 9th, 2017 5:16pm
If the decision is bettering you, your life you should take it. Talk it out to them, ask them for support make them trust you and surely they will understand and if they don't ask the reason and if you think it's a valid reason then agree with them and if you think it's nothing in your favour or your righteousness then you are your own decider for your own life
September 12th, 2017 9:27am
You really can't do anything to guarantee that your family doesn't get angry with you for a decision that they don't support. The best you can do is weigh your options and consider (1) whether this decision is any of their business in the first place and (2) if it is safe for you to make this decision.
November 14th, 2017 12:43am
You are responsible for your own life and your decision, regardless of right or wrong decision. Let them understand that you know what you are doing and that you are prepared and willing to bear any consequences (which they may think you are making the wrong decision because they want to protect you for instance).
April 10th, 2018 7:44pm
In order for you to make this decision, you must convince your family that you truly needed to make that decision for the greater good.