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How can I make my family understand that I'm not seeking attention and just trying to get the help I need?

165 Answers
Last Updated: 03/17/2022 at 10:26am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Elena Morales, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I believe silence creates a cycle. With empathic and collaborative therapy, we break the cycle. I help clients feel validated and supported passed anger, shame, and anxiety.

Top Rated Answers
RedVase1234
June 3rd, 2018 5:15pm
Your journey of healing often begins by speaking with your doctor. By involving a healthcare professional, you can be on your path to feeling better; sometimes ignoring what your family has to say about "attention-seeking behaviour" is the best thing. Focus on healing yourself and your journey towards recovery.
Anonymous
June 7th, 2018 8:48pm
Explain your feelings and include examples that will get them to sympathise. Remind them that family supports each other
TheyCallMeEm
June 17th, 2018 8:55pm
Having a formal, planned conversation is a great way of letting parents know what is really going on! It is a way of telling them, "Hey, this is really important to me".
Anonymous
June 27th, 2018 10:39am
ask them to talk about how you feel and what you want them to know, and how you can prove that you want to change and talk to them about it, because you love them you could even ask for help from neighbors or friends
SweetHoney77
June 29th, 2018 4:05pm
To help your family understand you're not seeking attention, you can explain to them the affects of how you're feeling and how much it's causing you to struggle.
Anonymous
July 8th, 2018 7:37pm
There are too many people in the world who are skeptical of mental health, and I can tell you from personal experience that it's very damaging. My parents never believed me, but I managed to get another relative to after really educating them on mental illness through online videos and articles.
Kayaondra02
July 11th, 2018 1:06am
Maybe instead of telling them you need help, show them. (If that makes sense..😂) Show them/give them reasons
Anonymous
July 12th, 2018 3:46am
Explain to them exactly what you're going through or maybe tell a guidance counselor to set up a meeting for them to understand
ArcaneSystem
July 15th, 2018 7:02pm
When you request help, tell them what you are facing in a short concise way. Extra details can confuse the family member and if you make it sound like a story, than they will only see it as that: a story.
Anonymous
July 18th, 2018 3:35am
The best thing to do is to be as serious as possibly with them. A good option is to tell them that you actually need professional help and that this is not a simple act of attention seeking.
Anonymous
August 12th, 2018 4:47pm
Everyone needs to be able to get the help they need . Sometimes when we act out , it's a cry for help . Family needs to understand that we have problems to and go through a lot . Family need to be there for you when you are having a tough time .
cherryblossomsss
August 22nd, 2018 2:37am
One of the best things to do is find an opportunity to sit down with your family and express to them what you are feeling. If they aren’t willing to make time for that, you still should try to sit down with them. Mentioning some forms of help that are available to you like perhaps therapy or anything of the sort would also be beneficial and hopefully your family would be willing to hear you out. Try to be as honest as possible about what you are feeling, you deserve the chance to get help and it’s good that you’re reaching out.
bria529
September 21st, 2018 12:06am
You should sit your family down and take them through a day in your life. 1. Explain your trials and errors - tell them what you have tried and what is not working. Show that it is not attention seeking, however, necessary for the next step. 2. Express to them your triumphs - These do not show you are not in need of help, but help is not a cry for attention. It is a winning component of success. 3. Take control of the situation and tell them what you need and what you expect from the help you want to receive.
Anonymous
October 11th, 2018 6:54pm
Use those exact words. Tell them you're not doing it for attention and that you really need their help. Tell them exactly what's been going on and how you're feeling. I know it can seem daunting. But explain what's been going on and reiterate that you need help, whether its from them or someone else. Let them ask questions and hopefully in them asking you things and you explaining the answer, they will realise you're not just doing it for attention and you do genuinely require help. If they still refuse to see that point, seek professional help without them if really necessary.
SophLovesPotatoes01
December 13th, 2018 12:06pm
Perhaps talk to them or if that isn't working, write a long and detailed letter than thoroughly explains your problems, what causes them, how it makes you feel and what you would like done about it. :) Be honest, this will help your family give you the support you need and deserve. Use terms like "Anxiety" and "Depression" to label your feelings and list any symptoms you may feel of these. Don't fear labels, they are the key to helping with issues and mapping out coping mechanisms. Try not to over or under exaggerate what is happening -- be truthful and clear. Good luck! :)
tayrosespaz
February 18th, 2022 5:29pm
Sometimes families don't understand what we might be going through. It's important to communicate with family members clearly, directly, and authentically. Try to calmly explain to them what is going on inside and why you feel like you need support outside of the family. No one knows your body and mind better than you do. Sometimes families get uncomfortable when we express that we aren't feeling okay, but just remind them that it is always okay to not be okay. Taking care of our mental health is extremely important in order to show up for ourselves, and also our loved ones. By getting yourself help, you are also helping those around you.
bubblegumWriting87
January 11th, 2019 7:38pm
Firstly, let them understand you love them and you know they love you. Explain to them what it is thats bothering you and why and how it makes you feel. Letting them know that there is a genuine reason that you are behaving in this way and it is not simply to gain attention may open their minds to your situation. Ask them to help you by giving you the space and time to get the full benifit of the help you need. Let them know how they can also help by supporting you and asking how you are. Finally, let them know its not their fault or yours its just a bump in the road and with their support it will be resolved.
Pinkypromise14
February 13th, 2019 4:31pm
Explaining it in these exact words, I believe. If your parents think you are seeking attention you could explain your problems to them. Parents want the best for us, yet they sometimes judge our behavior wrong, on us is to clarify it and if that isn't enough, say it in clear words. When they see we mean it seriously, they will help. But if they don't, there is always someone that will. Hope this helped a at least a little bit. Be honest with people and be honest to yourself. Good and helpful people will show up and give you a hand to raise.☺
Anonymous
March 6th, 2019 12:21am
Honesty and trust are 2 very important factors when trying to prove you're not trying to get attention. Be very up front and honest about how you feel, and why you need help. If you lied in the past to get attention, acknowledge it to show that you take responsibility for past actions. Explain that this time is different, and be very specific about what you need. Sometimes people want to help but just don't know what to do. Make it as easy as possible to help them help you. Lastly, you may need to get support from somewhere else if your family can't provide it. Luckily, there are many places to get help today, in person and online. Don't give up!
SunshineKrys
March 7th, 2019 10:09pm
Just do your best to be open and honest with them. If you can, try and explain how you are feeling and why you need the help you are seeking. Letting them in may not only help them understand but as well open doors to the help you need that you did not have access to before hand. Often we can close up when we are dealing with things and hurting. I personally have a hard time letting others see me when I feel I am at my weakest. Its hard to open up when you feel no one understands but you will be surprised. Remember it takes a lot of courage to reach out and get help, but things can be so much easier with the right help and support. Your family is not you, they do not and cannot know how you feel and what you are dealing with unless you tell them. Just do your best to explain. I greatly hope they can learn and come to understand and be supportive in your search for help.
Baileycross
June 16th, 2019 4:16am
Sit them down and let them know you need to have a serious conversation. Being completely honest is the best way to handle this. It can be really hard to put yourself out there especially when asking for help.. but stick to your words and be confident. Tell them in which ways you have tried to help yourself. If you can do that, I’m sure they will see that you have been struggling and they will be willing to help. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s actually very brave and takes a lot of courage. If you are able to communicate clearly, your parents will have no choice but to respect your words and help you get back on a path that works best for you.
AnnieBE
June 27th, 2019 5:39pm
You can’t make someone understand anything if they’re not willing or able to shift their view. It can be frustrating when your family doesn’t see your need or doesn’t try to help. At times like this, you can help yourself by finding effective outside resources. Meantime, stop trying to get reinforcement from your family. It’s common to try, which is part of being human, but people don’t change without willingness. There are other ways to find support outside your family. I don’t know your age, or what help you need. Usually, school counselors are available if you’re in primary or secondary education. They can provide additional direction. Sometimes the County provides a variety of social services to help people of any age make a plan, and take a next step. You might also find legitimate support groups online with people who deal with the same issues. It takes courage to ask for help! There are people and places out there to give it. Please don’t give up if you don’t find the right fit at first. It takes time to figure out what works best for you!
Marshymint
December 6th, 2020 4:26am
Sometimes family can be stubborn and think they have you all figured out, so it's hard to get them to understand the way you feel. If you live in stable family conditions where you know your family genuinely cares about you, I recommend you sit down and have a talk with the member you're most comfortable with and highlight your frustration, open up completely to them to try to let them understand your point of view. If you've already attempted this or it doesn't work out, remember that you don't always need your family to understand just yet and that there are many other people out there that want to hear about your feelings and care about you that you can reach out to :)
brilliantSea7821
March 18th, 2021 7:41pm
You could write them a letter, sometimes it helps because you can think about what you are going to say, and how to say it etc. You can tell them you are talking to them that way because you trust them, not because you want to bother them or to seeking attention
Anonymous
February 18th, 2021 3:21am
Explain to your family that your feelings are entirely valid and not simply attention-seeking behaviours. Explain how you feel and ask them to consider how they might feel if they were in your situation, and how they might feel if they were not being listened to. It can be difficult at times for family members to understand certain feelings they might not have experienced in their lives before. Reminding them that resources are essential sources of help for people dealing with many different types of problems is critical. They may simply not understand your feelings because they are not familiar with them themselves.
Anonymous
January 6th, 2021 2:54pm
You could tell them how you feel about what's going on Or you could inform them that many people feel the way you do and that you're not trying to seek attention, you're trying to seek help. You could also show them some informative websites about your situation so they can get a better understanding of what you're going through and also so that they know how to help you or find help for you. There are so many ways to find the help without them as well... So if it doesn't go to plan, there are always online support chats, like us (7 cups)
sallysalad1233
December 30th, 2020 1:04am
Let them know directly. Sometimes family do not understand that you may need help so let them know by saying something like this " I understand that this may be something that is something you might not expect but I need help with -------". Your family probably has no clue that you need help which makes them perceive it as that you need attention. The best way to make them understand that you need help instead of attention is to let them know directly that you need help. Really express all your emotions and don't be afraid to. Thank you for reaching out and if you have any other additional questions, leave it to the 7 cups community. We are here for you always
Anonymous
September 17th, 2020 10:58pm
You can explain to them that you are not feeling well mentally. You can explain that just because they cannot see what is wrong with you, does not mean that there is not anything wrong. You are still going through something and you can help to show them by sitting down and having a meaningful conversation with them about your feelings and what it is that Is effecting you. You can also try to explain what has made you feel the way that you do, if you understand it yourself. If you do not understand it then you can explain that to them as well.
CountYourBlessingsNZ
August 22nd, 2020 2:26pm
Show them that you genuinely want help and explain to them that it's important for you. Explain in depth your situation and what sort of help that you need, maybe try your best to show them that you haven't been yourself lately and that these problems are taking a toll in your life and that you've tried dealing with it all by yourself but it isn't that easy and you would really appreciate their support, I'm sure the family would understand and do what they can to help and support you. Just take it step by step and think about what to say to them first.
Anonymous
September 13th, 2020 2:27pm
When people don't believe your struggles, sometimes it's helpful to show them. Being open about how your problems are affecting your daily life is a great way to show your family that you are not seeking attention and that you really do need help. When people are feeling terrible emotions and going through a lot of stress, sometimes they hide their emotions and put on a brave face. It's important to be open and honest about your struggles with your family so that they can properly gage how to help you. You could also try speaking to someone outside your family about your struggles. Hearing that you need help from an outside source could be another extra push to show your family that you need help.