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How can I make my family understand that I'm not seeking attention and just trying to get the help I need?

155 Answers
Last Updated: 03/27/2021 at 10:46pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
India
Moderated by

Smita Joshi, BA Psychology / MA / Advanced EFT Practitioner

Counselor

I am empathetic with my Clients going through emotional overwhelm and passionate in helping them. I am supportive, openminded & interactive in helping my clients.

Top Rated Answers
Philosophicalstar
March 31st, 2017 4:32am
The best way to understand and make people understand you is patiently talking. Sit relax and talk to your parents . You understand them and then you ask them to listen to you same way you listened to them. Explain your problem. Politely. Even if they don't understand still. Don't shout or get angry just walk away. They will soon understand you and that you genuinely need help and it's not for attention.
Mushu74
April 1st, 2017 10:15pm
By telling them straight that your really not yourself. I myself have been through something similar & was desperate for help and actually disliked the attention - quite the opposite to what others think. I showed them a doctors note that talked about my anxiety and depression, they then knew I was serious and needed help.
Anonymous
April 16th, 2017 11:39pm
Firstly try to reach out to the family member you trust the most and are closest to. Once they have some base for your issues they can help you reach out to other family members and surround yourself with all of the support you need. You have to try and speak to them in a manner which they will be able to understand and perhaps somehow relate to slightly. If you begin by a huge outburst of emotion they will likely feel overwhelmed and not know how to cope with what you have told them which could be why they are choosing to label you attention seeking. Also try to talk to them about positive things in between, when you feel slightly better of a morning or you resolve a problem you had, let them know so they can celebrate your progress with you and be alongside you through every step of your journey.
Anonymous
April 29th, 2017 5:13am
We always feel misunderstood. It is normal, we cannot expect people or Loved ones to read our minds and know how we really feel. We have to be open about our feelings and emotions. Speak your mind openly. Do not hold back important things no matter how shameful or difficult you think it is to understand, you should tell your family about it, only then they will truly know what's going on and the you will be able to get the support you need from them. Family is always there to support us.
gracefulPresence72
May 17th, 2017 6:34pm
Explain to family that you're of need for empathy and compassion currently. Mustering up some extra tools to help family members understand that currently you're feeling stress can help change the perception of you only wanting attention-seeking reassurance. It may not help with anxiety or depression in a long run but it will show others how we feel. Also offers back kindness and understanding back to you're family about your moods will help begin more self- love and gentleness when it comes these moods of help needed to go through our day. Healing during our need of help is the best way to approach confusion and anxiety.
Anonymous
May 19th, 2017 1:31pm
Talk to them and tell everything that you have been going through. Don't keep secrets. Parents are complicated and don't want to believe that their may need any type of mental help. not only is this hard for you but it will be for your parents too. You just need to sit them down and have a heart to heart talk with them. Maybe you need a friends there that you have talked to about this situation, have them tag along for moral support, if you need it. In the end your parents will see that your crying out for help not attention.
Anonymous
July 1st, 2017 7:31pm
Sit them down and tell them how you feel. And what's wrong and that you need some sort of support from someone special that will understand you completely
interestingFish11
July 2nd, 2017 6:16pm
This is a tough situation. I have been there, and I know how frustrating this can be. I first want to compliment you on knowing that you need help and looking to get it. This is a great start and you are doing the right thing. If you are a teenager, go to a family member that you trust, like a grandmother or aunt. Talk to them about what you need help with and ask them to help you to convey this to the rest of your family. If you are an adult, sit down with a family member and talk with them about what you need help with. Ultimately, you are the expert on you, and I can't give you the perfect advice for your situation, But, I do know that you are doing the right thing! Never be afraid to ask for help.
UntilThen
August 4th, 2017 1:59am
Ask them directly for help. Tell them that you are sharing how you feel not so they will feel bad or treat you differently, but so that they will take your request for help seriously.
Anonymous
August 9th, 2017 11:39am
Speak your truth and if they can't hear that, look for support elsewhere that can help you approach your family with you.
braveMemory96
August 11th, 2017 6:35pm
In my experience you just need to be honest and tell them what you are feeling and that you need their support. Don't be discouraged if they can't fully understand. They don't need to fully understand how you are feeling in order to support you.
empathicSunset87
August 13th, 2017 3:22am
Just get the help you need. If they want to be apart of it and be supportive they will come around, if not just focus on yourself. Not everyone will understand your struggles especially when they can't relate. Lack of empathy maybe, but anyway, worry about getting the help you need and the rest will fall into place, whether it's their support or denial still.
wonder22
August 16th, 2017 3:31pm
In my opinion, you need you find an effective way to tell them. Straight out saying, "Hello! I'm not seeking attention, I just need love and help!" doesn't always work. So, find a way to tell them so that they understand. I don't know your family, but you do. Figure out what would get thier attention, but don't hurt yourself in the process.
Anonymous
September 3rd, 2017 2:53pm
That's not easy. It's a theme that needs to be discussed. You can try to find a quiet moment and get them together. Be honest.
Moonquake
September 24th, 2017 1:30pm
Communication is key. Understand that sometimes people need to go through things to understand them completely. A family is a family after all so no matter what at the end they're always going to be supportive. Sit everyone down and explain how things are from your point of view and be open to their opinions too.
OpenedEyes
September 28th, 2017 3:35pm
Unfortunately some parents don't want to accept that their child is dealing with issues beyond their understanding. Maybe they really can't understand but all you can do is try to help them understand the best you can. Sit them down, explain to them what's going on. If they are refusing to understand or really can't understand then it's something they need to get through or learn to try to be understanding. On a personal note, when I was in my early teens I struggled with really bad depression among other things. We had family meetings upon talks upon sessions of counseling to get my mother at least in the same book, hopefully in the same chapter but unfortunately never the same page; although, that wasn't my mothers fault. She knew she had to try to understand and eventually we come to some sort of agree to disagree type deal, she got me therapy sessions and I never got to talk with her about my depression. I do know how upsetting is to want to talk to your mother about some of these things being that shes partially involved in the issues but I learned to push through that as she had to learn to cope with my up and down days. The bottom line is, try your best to help her help you the best you can.
Positivebelief27
September 29th, 2017 5:43am
Sometimes our parents don't get our problems as they sometimes get stuck in their life that they don't get time to pay attention. The best thing to do is to talk to someone who listens to you and understands you and who can convince your parents about your issues.
Anonymous
October 5th, 2017 12:28pm
Have a talk with your family- no matter how difficult it may be. Most family members will be more understanding that you may initially think. Tell your family what is going on in a private setting and ask for their support. You may be surprised that your mom, dad, brother, sister, son, or daughter have felt or experienced the same thing. Maybe they handle situations or feelings that you are having in a different way that would be useful to you. Even if not, I'm sure no one would be apposed to seeking outside help to insure that you are able to overcome the obstacles in your way.
kp2597
October 18th, 2017 1:32am
If you haven't already, gather your loved ones and really tell them how you are feeling. Let them know that getting the help you need will improve your life and this is something you will need their support through.
caringBerry98
November 10th, 2017 7:35pm
You need to think to yourself why? Why do they think I'm seeking attention in the first place? And then go from there because there is always a reason behind everything so think first
PastelBread3
November 11th, 2017 4:56am
As a member that has experienced family misunderstanding, I feel like the best way to help them understand is to explain to them and help them feel like what it is like to be in your shoes. Perhaps when they understand what is going on in your life, they will understand that you are seeking help.
Anonymous
November 12th, 2017 9:26am
Try to explain to them how you feel some times family doesn’t understand that what you are going through is real?
madikinney
November 17th, 2017 1:01am
explain to your family how you're really feeling, don't miss a single detail, they need to know exactly how you're feeling. then they will hopefully get the idea that you aren't seeking attention, you're actually seeking help
CaringCat94
November 23rd, 2017 6:15pm
Maybe try to talk to them honestly about how you feel and explain why you need help. If they still think you're just seeking attention then find someone who will listen and empathise with you
chefor
January 4th, 2018 3:35am
I think giving resources on cases like yours would be convincing, but also a doctors diagnosis is pretty strong evidence as well.
KimtheNaturalist
January 18th, 2018 5:00pm
Take aside your most trusted family member and confide in them. Tell them exactly what you need and exactly what you feel. If this is too forward for you, try writing a letter to you or a trusted counselor or friend.
Anonymous
January 25th, 2018 2:36pm
Have a chat with your parents one day and really just tell them what you are going through. Parents knows whats best for their children.
Jasmine7860
January 26th, 2018 8:44am
Being expressive of your feelings and concerns helps other understand your view point as well as eliminates misunderstanding and being misjudged
Anonymous
January 28th, 2018 9:24pm
First of all, you can take some time thinking about your relationship with our parents. How close are you? How do you communicate and how often? What are the dynamics between you and them? Then you can show them how important is for you, by choosing a day where all of you can be together, somewhere safe and familiar, at home, for example. Then it comes the hardest part: putting your feelings and thoughts on a plate for them, be clear and on point. They are you parents and is their main responsibility to take care of you. If necessary, you can also explain how they can't see beyond your actions and how much harder makes it for you. Don't let them take action when is too late! Be brave, I love you.
RheanaHazel
February 7th, 2018 3:38pm
Take it to another adult such as your school counselor or doctor. If you speak with them about your serious concerns, they can take it to your parents with a more professional tone, and hopefully this helps :)