How can I make my parents approve of my boyfriend?
Last Updated: 04/24/2018 at 11:14pm
Amelia Winsby, PsyD
I often work with clients who experience a wide range of emotions and difficulties. I am non-judgmental and enjoy working with individuals from all walks of life.
Top Rated Answers
Find out why do they disapprove of him and work on it. Make sure to explain to them on how much it would mean to you for their approval.
First off it'd be a fair assessment to find out why they don't approve and have a cognitive discussion on that and what you and/or him can work on to improve what they may not approve. However some instances you may not be able to their their approval. For example say idk he's to old. Some parents are entirely against someone who's 4+ years older or 10+ years older. While this can be unappealing for some people and parents. If they see that he genuinely cares about you and is not disrespectful or inconsiderate of your family or others. It may take time but they may approve in time. Not everyone reacts, perceives, or responds to their corresponding environment the same. Everyone is different. However in this case communication is key!
Instead of trying to make them approve, you might try asking yourself why it is that they disapprove of this relationship. They hold a larger amount of experience, and the fact that they aren't approving of the new relationship should be a red flag. Your parents don't need to be best friends with your partner (and sometimes the reasons we dislike people are for the wrong reasons or because we don't fully understand some aspect) and it is your life and your decision, but it wouldn't hurt to sit down and talk to them and be realistic and open-minded about their reasons for disapproving of the relationship.
It really helps to be open with your parents, explain to them why you are concerned that they do not approve of your boyfriend, and explain to them why you believe your boyfriend is a good match for you. Try to determine why they do not approve of him and discuss how they can change that opinion. Try to remain calm and have a constructive discussion as opposed to an argument.
I can understand why you would want your parents to approve of your boyfriend. They're your parents and you love him. You could try talking to them and telling them what you like about him, and also have dinner with them and him. Let your parents see him for how you see him
Talk to your parents about what is bothering them about him. Is it logically or not? Either ways, it's definitely difficult to convince someone else if they already have a certain perspective of that person, but over time, if they see how happy he makes you, perhaps that will win them over.
Tell them about how caring he is and what crazy things he does to make you smile. All our parents want from us is to be happy and keep smiling . So, if you are able to show them his caring and loving nature, they would definitely love him too! :D
Parents knows best but sometimes we know what is best for us so what we can do is tell our boyfriend to just continue to be nice to our parents so that when they realize he's a good man they will approve of him.
The simple truth is that you really can't make your parents approve of your boyfriend. However, if that frustrates you to the point of considering rebellious behavior, you can likely minimize their disapproval by refusing any inclinations to rebel. Parents especially don't like their kids' partners when they believe that the partners are influencing their children to "act out".
Sadly, you can't make anyone do anything. You can, however, influence them. Tell them the good things. I don't mean leave all the bad things out, just be honest. Let them know how it affects you with how they disapprove. It will work out, have faith.
Why don't they approve of him? Ask your parents why. It won't hurt. It may be hard, though, but I'm sure you want to know why. I'm sure your parents care for you, and want what's best for you. There is a really good chance that they know more than you of what is best in a relationship because they more than likely experienced those. If you don't think your parents really know your boyfriend, then ask. Don't judge, yet. Try to see it from their view. If they are right, then make your decision if you should stay with him or not. If they are assuming too much too quickly, then relax. It takes time.
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