How can i stop the conflicts between me and my mom so that things will get calmer?
Last Updated: 08/02/2021 at 11:26am
Melissa Strauss, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I am client focused and believe everyone has a strength. I feel confident in seeing clients with generalized and social anxiety, depression and relational goals.
Top Rated Answers
Try understanding that the age gap between you both suggest that your mindsets will have differences, so you will need to put yourself in her shoes first. Communicate with her and clarify any misunderstandings. Discuss what you feel and what you would like out of the situation. Whatever response she gives, accept it, and find a common solution to the problem.
Try and see things from both perspectives. Once you understand why there is conflict and what her reasons are you can then look to try and solve the problems in a calmer manner.
Try to be understanding and grateful when she does something for you, maybe she feels unappreciated. If she asks you to do something try and do it without complaining after a while she'll start seeing that you're trying and that she shouldn't be so hard on you.
Be honest. Talk about it. Do a 'calm' activity. Figure out where the negativity and/or low points originate from, and work together to eliminate those things.
Focus on your part. If she's mad, be the bigger person and descalate the situation. Don't let her walk all over you of course, but let certain things go.
Have you tried talking to your mother about them? Identify what causes them and how you can address them in order to change you and your mothers relationship.
This is hard. Even until now me amd my mom always get into conflicts. I guess the best way to stop the conflicts is to understand each other. Cooperation from both sides.
Try and talk to her, if you are not comfortable with confrontation then you could write her a letter and let her know how you feel.
It seems like a natural thing to get into conflicts with parents. I am finally on good terms with my parents (although it took me way too long to get here) and I think, one way to get there is to be open and honest. Not making your mother your best friend, but in the end she has known you your whole life, so ask her for advice. She will see your maturity and treat you with respect (and you'll get some great advice from it, too!). And if you do fight, make sure to give each other space to calm down. If you come around to see that you did react to strongly, tell her, she wont judge you for it, she will appreciate your apology. And if you think she overreacted, ask her where that reaction came from.
Try to explain how you feel to her, and tell her that this isn't helping. Try to come to "peace" with her.
Your mom won't always be there when you need her. Life is short. Love the people that are close to you. I wish I had my mom back. She died of cancer. Always make her realize how much you need and appreciate her
What i learned about conflict is that it takes two to tango. There wont be any conflict if one of you would try to completely understand and listen where the other is coming from. Most often than not, when one realizes the other's effort to understand and listen, she the other, she would end up appreciating the gesture and try mirror the effort as well.
You have to figure out what is the unresolved issue that you guys are having that causes u guys to have conflicts. Solve that issue first then move on to the rest.
Look for ways to avoid the conflict. Also try to listen to her side of the story even though you may not agree with what she thinks.
Understand your mother. It may sound trivial and a bit cliche, however it can open doors that may allow you to absorb your mother's worries and agitations. You may believe with good intention that your mother may not be listening to you. That can be true. However, no conflict can be mended without someone stepping outside their own justification to understand the other person. It may be difficult but if your mother sees her child becoming more aware and empathetic towards the difficult job of parenting. You may find yourself on the receiving end of a much more inviting tone of conversation.
Have some time to yourself, and give your mom time think to herself to avoid saying things that you'll regret. Once you calm down, talk to her calmly, if it's her fault try to tell her why you're bothered by her fault and ask her to apologize to you. If it's your fault then ask for apology nicely. If it's not anyone fault then ask her to just forget it and start a conversation with new topic.
Talk about it. Tell her your side of the story but also try to understand her side. This is definitely not easy but it is better than constantly being on your guard.
Have an open conversation with your mom. Remember that we all have thoughts, feeling and concerns that the other side may not understand. Try sitting with her, having made an arrangement that each of you will get the time you need to speak, while the other just listens.. no interruptions. This allows both of you to really express your thoughts and not feeling the need to defend what you say or start an argument. A tip for talking and having your side understood is by saying what you need and want from the other person, staying away from blame or what you think they should be doing. Give each other the space and time you each need, listening purposefully to really hear and understand the others side
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